ETHNIC HUMOR

A bit o' the blarney:

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to
the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of
drinkin' fools. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here
who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."

The room is quiet, and no one takes of the Texan's offer.
One man even leaves.

Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up
and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" he
asks.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints
of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint
glasses drinking them all back-to-back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits down in amazement.
The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me
askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"

The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street
to see if I could do it first."
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"Irish Prayer"

Murphy was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket
when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt 
something wet running down his leg. "Please Lord", he implored,
"let it be blood!!"

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"I've Lost Me Luggage"

An Irishman arrived at JFK Airport and wandered around the terminal
with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him 
if he was already homesick.

"No," replied the Irishman. "I've lost all me luggage!"

"How'd that happen?"

"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.

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"Water to Wine"

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for
speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the 
priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor 
of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it
again!"

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"The Brothel"


Two Irishmen were sitting a pub having beer and watching the brothel
across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, 
and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin'
bad."

Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said,
"Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation."

Then they saw a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the
Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity...one of the girls must be quite ill."
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There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we 
came to have an oil shortage here in the USA. 
Well, there's a very simple answer. 
Nobody bothered to check the oil. 
We just didn't know we were getting 
low. The reason for this is purely 
geographical. All the oil is in Oklahoma, 
Texas, Louisiana, Wyoming, etc. 

All the dipsticks are in Washington, D.C. 
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