BLONDE HUMOR

     BLONDE FAQ'S

1.) What do you call an eternity? 
    Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop. 
      

2.) Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? 
    Toes Go In First. 
      

3.) Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in 
    the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said 
    "Disneyland Left" so they turned around and went home. 
      

4.) What do SMART Blondes and UFO's have in common? 
    You always hear about them but never see them. 
      

5.) What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios? 
    "Oh look, Daddy...Doughnut seeds." 
      

6.) Why did the Blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? 
    Because it said concentrate. 
      

7.) Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? 
    They think their picture is being taken. 
      

8.) How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax? 
    It has a stamp on it. 
      

9.) Why can't Blondes dial 911? 
    They can't find the 11 on the phone! 
      

10.) What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you? 
     Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth! 
      

11.) How can you tell if a Blonde has been using your computer? 
     There is white-out all over the monitor. 
      

12.) Why shouldn't Blondes have coffee breaks? 
     It takes too long to retrain them. 
      

13.) A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches every 
     part of her body with her finger she says, "Doctor it hurts 
     everywhere. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and 
     even my head hurts!" 
     The doctor asks, "Where you ever a Blonde?" 
     "Yes I was." she replies. "why do you ask?" 
     The doctor answers, "because your finger is broken!" 
      

14.) A Blonde and a brunette were walking outside when the 
     brunette said,  "Oh look at the dead bird." 
     The Blonde looked skyward and said, "Where,    where?" 
      

15.) A brunette is standing on some train tracks, jumping 
     from rail to rail, saying "21" "21" "21" 
     A Blonde walks up, sees her and decides to join her. 
     She also starts jumping from rail to rail, saying "21" 
     "21" "21" 
     Suddenly, the brunette hears a train whistle and jumps 
     off the tracks just as the Blonde is splattered all over 
     the place. 
     The Brunette goes back to jumping from rail to rail , 
     counting "22" "22" "22" 
      

16.) How do you drown a Blonde? 
     Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool. 
      

17.) Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as 
     opposed to a regular one? 
     You have to hollow out the head. 
      

18.) How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye? 
     Shine a flashlight in her ear. 
      

19.) Why don't Blondes like making KOOL-AID? 
     Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little 
     packet. 
      

20.) Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen 
     to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater? 
     They went to see "Closed for Winter". 
      

21.) Why won't they hire Blondes as pharmacists? 
     They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the 
     typewriters. 
      

22.) Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door 
     of their Mercedes with a coat hanger, but they couldn't. 
     The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch 
     her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's 
     starting to rain and the top is down!" 
      

23.) Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? 
     It took her a month to realize she could play it at night. 
   

24.) What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? 
     They drowned in Spring Training. 
      

25.) What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front 
     of the YMCA? 
     "Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!" 
      

26.) Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? 
     To see what was on the other side. 
      

27.) How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? 
     Tell her a joke on Wednesday.