BIKER HUMOR

 

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Words of Wisdom From the old biker

1. Gray-haired bikers don't get that way from pure luck.
2. The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rearview mirror.
3. Only Bikers understand why dogs love to stick their heads out
   car windows.
4. Pie and Coffee are as important as gasoline.
5. Never do less than Forty miles before breakfast.
6. Young riders pick a destination and go...Old riders pick a
   direction and go.
7. Winter is Natures way of telling you to polish.
8. The best alarm clock is sunshine on Chrome.
9. Don't argue with an 18-wheeler
10. When you're riding lead....don't spit.
11. Midnight bugs taste best.
12. Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they can
    hold everything you need.
13. NEVER argue with a woman holding a torque wrench.
14. Never try to race an old Geezer, he may have one more gear
    than you.
15. Home is where your bike sits still long enough to leave a
    few drops of oil on the ground.
16. You'll get farther down the road if you learn to use more than
    two fingers on the front brake.
17. Routine maintenance should never be neglected.
18. It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share
    the bed.
19. Never be afraid to slow down.
20. Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory.
21. Never as a biker for directions if you're in a hurry to get
    there.
22. Don't ride so late into the night that you sleep through the
    sunrise.
23. Sometimes it takes a whole thankful of gas before you can
    think straight.
24. Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll
    ride alone.
25. Never hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge
    of town.
26. Never mistake Horsepower for staying power.
27. A good rider has balance, judgment and good timing. So does
    a good lover.
28. A cold hamburger can be reheated quite nicely by strapping it
    to an exhaust pipe and riding forty miles.
29. If you don't ride in the rain-you don't ride.
30. A bike on the road is worth 2 in the shop.
31. Respect the person who has seen the Dark side of motorcycling
    and lived.
32. A good wrench will let you watch without charging you for it.
33. Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.
34. Always back your scoot into the curb-and sit where you can see it.
35. Work to Ride-Ride to Work.
36. Whatever it is, it's better in the wind.
37. Two lane blacktop isn't a highway-it's an attitude.
38. When you look down the road, it seems to never end-but you better
    believe it does.
39. A motorcycle can't sing on the streets of a city.
40. Keep your bike in good repair: Motorcycle boots are NOT com-
    fortable for walking.
41. People are like Motorcycles: each is customized a bit differently.
42. If the bike isn't braking properly, you don't start by rebuilding
    the engine.
43. Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your
    carburetor.
44. Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate
    bikes.
45. Well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck.
46. Good coffee should be indistinguishable from 50 weight motor oil.
47. Learn to do counterintuitive things that may someday save your butt.
48. The twisties-not the super slabs-separate the bikers from the squids.
49. If you really want to know what's going on, watch what's happening
    at least 5 cars ahead.
50. Don't make a reputation you'll have to live down or run away from
    later.
51. If the person in the next lane at the stoplight rolls up the window
    and locks the door, support their view of life by snarling at them.
52. A friend is someone who'll get out of bed at 2am to drive his pickup
    to the middle of nowhere to get you when you're broken down.
53. If she changes her oil more than she changes her mind-follow her.
54. Catchin' a June bug (or yellow jacket in your goggles or honeybee
    down your shirt) at 70 mph can double your vocabulary.
55. There's something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer.
56. Hunger can make even road kill taste good.
57. Sleep with one arm thru the spokes and keep your pants on.
58. Practice wrenching on your own bike.
59. Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't.
60. Beware the biker who says the bike never breaks down.
61. Some bikes run on 99-octane ego.
62. Owning 2 bikes is useful because at least one can be raided for
    parts at any given time.
63. You'll know she loves you if she offers to let you ride her bike.
    Don't do it and she'll love you even more.
64. Never be ashamed to unlearn an old habit.
65. Maintenance is as much art as it is science.
66. A good long ride can clear your mind, restore your faith, and use
    up a lot of gasoline.
67. If the countryside seems boring, stop, get off your bike, and go
    sit in the ditch long enough to appreciate what was here before
    the asphalt came.
68. If you can't get it goin' with bungee cords and electricians
    tape-it's serious.
69. If you ride like there's no tomorrow- there won't be.
70. If you want to complain about the pace being set by the road
    captain, you better be prepared to lead the group yourself.
71. There are drunk bikers. There are old bikers. There are NO
    old, drunk bikers.
72. Thin leather looks good in the bar, but it won't save you from
    "road rash" if you go down.
73. The best modifications cannot be seen from the outside.
74. Always replace the cheapest parts first.
75. You can forget what you do for a living when your knees are
    in the breeze.
76. No matter what marquee you ride, it's all the same wind.
77. It takes both pistons and cylinders to make a bike run. One
    is not more important than the other.