This story is one of many incarnations. Half way through the original NN story, I realized that it would make a good Vals story as well. So, feeling slightly crazy and spurred on by a certain Val <Heather-Anne>, I decided to write an alternate version to the story that was a Val storyline.

So, parts of this story will sound familiar--particularly the beginning--but it is definatelly a vals. I hope you enjoy it!

The characters do not belong to me, no infringement is intended.

This is an ADULT story--so don't read if that sort of thing offends you!

Thanks to Heather-Anne and Lea for betaing for me.

This is dedicated to my sister--a true survivor.

January 2000

Monday afternoon:

Natalie sat across from her doctor. Nervously, she played with the tissue in her lap. She knew the news wasn't good.

"Natalie, I don't want you to unnecessarily worry--but the baseline mammogram that we took of you last week showed a lump, still undetectable by self-examination."

"Where is it?" Natalie whispered softly, the shock of the news radiating through her body.

"It is in the upper right-hand quadrant of your left breast. As you know, we will need to do a biopsy. I don't want you to worry; more than likely it is benign--but you know that we have to check. Do you have any questions?"

"No, I know what to expect. I just can't believe this is happening. I had come in for the baseline before I was 40 because of my family history--I never expected..." The tears started to silently fall from Natalie's eyes.

"I know you are in shock, Natalie. So am I. I'm glad you came to me. I promise you, Natalie, I will do the best I can for you. You're not just my patient...you are also my friend. I haven't forgotten our years in medical school together."

"Diane, I'm so glad it's you--I just don't know what to do."

"Dry your eyes, go make an appointment for the biopsy, then go home and open a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates. Don't worry until we have some thing to worry about--you know how often these turn out to be benign."

"You're right--chocolates, wine and sleep would be good. Thanks, Diane." "Call me, Natalie. Don't hesitate. I'm here for you, and together we will get through this, my friend."

Natalie rose from her chair and hugged Diane. "I guess I'll see you again sooner than I thought. Thanks for being so good to me."

Natalie made an appointment for Wednesday morning. She drove home, tears still flowing from her eyes. She didn't know what to do--two days, and then the time it would take to get the biopsy results. She took several deeps breaths as she climbed the stairs to her apartment. When she opened her door, Sydney flew toward her--instantly sensing that his mistress was not ok.

Natalie flopped down on the sofa, cradling Sydney in her arms. She stroked his soft fur, trying desperately to forget what she learned today.

Monday night:

Natalie had decided to go into work. She hoped the night would be a busy one, and it would make the time go faster. Unfortunately, it was a slow evening-- the best she could do was catching up on paper work. Nick stopped by with Tracy at the beginning of their shift to say hi. He had asked her if anything was wrong. She told him she was tired, that she had run errands during the day. She wasn't ready to tell him about her biopsy--besides, all the panic might be for nothing.

Natalie clocked out early and went driving. She wasn't ready for this. She knew what breast cancer could do to a woman--and it petrified her. She thought of all the things she hadn't done--of the love she didn't have present in her life. She would be facing this alone. Nick would be there for her, loving her and being her friend. But a friend wasn't what she needed--she knew she would need a lover, not a friend, to remind her that she was a woman.

Nick--was he the biggest mistake or miracle of her life? Trying to cure him was one thing--being in love with him was another. She was tired of kisses long forgotten and dreams that might never come true. Suddenly, she realized that her life was slipping away. Tomorrow--she was always living for tomorrow. Now, she realized she may not have many more tomorrows.

She looked up, realizing that she was in the neighborhood of the Raven. She felt drawn there, to lose herself--like she had done when they thought the asteroid was going to destroy all life. She heard the music coming from inside when she drove by the front door. A parking space was empty up the street, and she pulled her car into the space. After taking a deep breath, Natalie left her car behind and headed toward her escape.

Natalie sat at the bar and ordered a double vodka and tonic. She looked around at the people losing themselves in the music. Her work clothes made her stand out. Maybe, she thought, she should go home and change. She decided to just drift into a corner when her drink arrived. She saw an empty table and settled into the plush seat. The drink flowed down her throat, soothing her nerves ever so slightly. She downed her first drink and signaled the bartender to make her another.

A couple on the dance floor caught her eye. Their hips churned in perfect union, as their hands explored each others' bodies. Natalie watched, entranced, as they started to kiss--their tongues visibly dancing together. Their passion was honest and for all to see. Slowly, they made their way toward the back hall. Just as they were going out of sight, Natalie saw the flash of the tell-tale eyes of a vampire, from both of them.

She could feel the tears rising to the surface again. That could be she and Nick--well, a better dressed version, of course, but the passion would be the same. The feeling that if you waited one more minute to share yourselves with each other you, would spontaneously combust. Of course, if she were a vampire, that would be possible if she walked out into the sun.

Another drink was sat down in front of her and she looked up at the man carrying it. It was HIM.

"Dr. Lambert, to what do I owe your patronage tonight?"

"I needed a drink, and this was on my way home."

A smile drifted across LaCroix's face. "Dr. Lambert, you and I both know that the Raven is not on your route home from work. It is also not of your nature to drink more than one vodka tonic a night. I believe this is your third double."

"Well, I'm trying to change my ways and loosen up a little. Can't a girl do that if she wants?"

"Of course, Doctor. But I do not believe that is the reason you are here. Or do you always cry in your double vodkas?" LaCroix brushed a tear from Natalie's face.

"I needed to get away, to escape--and this place was as good as any other."

"I believe you know that this is not the safest of places to escape from reality--unless, of course, you are looking for a permanent escape."

"In a few days, I may be..." Natalie whispered under her breath.

"Doctor, maybe you would like to lighten yourself of your burdens." LaCroix sat down before Natalie asked and he looked at her, waiting for her to speak to him.

Natalie sipped her drink, and looked up into LaCroix's eyes. "I''ve got a situation, and I'm not sure how the situation is going to turn out. I'm worried, is all--no need to burden anyone else with it."

"Burdens, I am told, are meant to be shared."

"I'm not sure with whom to share this one."

LaCroix quickly captured Natalie's hand in his own and brought her fingers to his lips. He kissed them gently, his tongue lightly caressing the soft pads. He closed his eyes, and painlessly slipped one of his fangs into Natalie's skin.

Natalie gasped. She barely felt the prick on her finger--but she was shocked at LaCroix's brazenness. "Excuse me, but what--" Natalie's words drifted off as LaCroix continued to suck on her finger, her blood filling his mouth and his mind. He let her finger slip out of his mouth and again kissed the tip.

LaCroix opened his eyes and looked squarely at Natalie. He turned to the bartender and signaled for two more drinks. He needed one--the passion and fear he had felt in Natalie was overwhelming. The pair sat in silence until their drinks arrived. It was only after they had both downed their new drinks that they spoke.

Natalie sighed heavily, and LaCroix reached for her hand. "Do you know for certain? I could not tell...your fear was too great."

"I have to have a biopsy on Wednesday."

"You have not told Nicholas?"

"No. I don't know that I am."

LaCroix looked surprised. "You love him." It was a statement more than a question--but Natalie answered it anyway.

"Yes. But there is nothing that he can do. I don't want to worry him."

"We both know there is something he can do." LaCroix gripped Natalie's hand tighter. "And if he will not do it, if there is a need, I WILL. I have not forgotten that you saved me and the community."

Natalie stared into LaCroix's eyes, seeing the sincerity of his words. "I have thought about that. There are other courses of action."

"To have them butcher you, and make you dreadfully sick in an effort to cure you?"

"The cure rate is excellent, if it is caught early."

"I assume you are in an early stage?"

"Yes."

Miklos sat another set of drinks in front of them and walked away. He could feel the seriousness of the conversation--the area around the pair radiated with heaviness. LaCroix and Natalie sipped at their drinks, sitting again, in comfortable silence.

"I should be getting home."

"If you do not wish to be alone, you are more than welcome to stay in my quarters, or I will call Nicholas to come take care of you--if you prefer."

"No, I think I should be alone for awhile. Thank you for the offers."

"Will you allow me to see you home?"

Natalie thought for a moment, considering what the implications of accepting the vampire's offer could mean--then she thought about her car parked out front. "Would you drive my car home for me?"

LaCroix raised his eyebrow at her suggestion, a smile crossing his face. "If I must, dear Doctor. It should not sit out front--just in case."

"Just in case."

"And to answer your question--no, I will not tell Nicholas. That is up to you."

Half an hour later, Natalie was at home with her car safely parked out front, and LaCroix flying back to the Raven. Natalie pulled her pajamas out of the drawer and started to undress. She started to cry again as she was taking off her sweater. She wanted to be held--by Nick. She wrapped her arms around herself. The tears ran down her face as she cuddled in the blankets on her bed.