Summary: Scotty offers to tutor Spock in, um, social necessities. 

Disclaimer: Yea, yea, and verily, Paramount and Viaborg doth own the whole kit and kaboodle.  I don't have a claim to it and I certainly don't intend to make a penny off of it.  So, dinna fash yersel!  This is rated R for implied sex between two men.  If that's not yer cuppa, piss off! 

Comments: My second attempt at a drabble composed of four-chained Limericks, each with 25 words. 

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NEVER BEEN KISSED
 

"What, lad, have ye never been kissed? 
Surreptitiously kept a tryst?" 
   At Spock's shaking head, 
   The Scotsman turned red, 
"Good Heavens!  Tha wonders ye've missed!" 

"Unfortunately am I wed; 
My wife is a bitch, it is said; 
   So, true, Engineer, 
   I am, as you fear, 
That totally clueless in bed." 

"Ye need lessons -- that fact is clear -- 
Ah'd be happy tae volunteer; 
   Yer my kinda guy 
   (Ah'm really quite bi); 
Mayhap ye consider that queer?" 

The Vulcan replied with a sigh, 
His hand on the Engineer's thigh, 
   "I shall not scruple, 
   Make me your pupil." 
Crooned Scotty, delighted, "Och, aye!"