The kits had been so excited about their first family expedition that it was all Kurama and Hiei could do to contain them. The twins ran on ahead, charging bravely into the underbrush, certain that they knew the way. And, of course, they didn't, so the rest of the family had to stop often to regroup, brush off burrs painfully snagged in hair or tail, and mend the occasional skinned knee.
The demon parents felt their offspring were all old enough to venture past the safety of their tree house and surrounding forest. They wanted the junior demons to get a realistic feel for their first night away from home. They decided to make their adventure "spontaneous"; however, they kept a watchful eye on the rambunctious quartet as all parents are wont to do. The direction of their expedition was to be determined by the direction of the wind. This morning it blew south, so south they went.
"Do you think we'll find any monsters, Kurama-touchan?" Ryu asked, trying to sound impressive in front of the twins and Yoji, but secretly hoping they wouldn't. Hiei concealed a smile.
"Maybe," he answered, matter-of-factly, not taking his eyes off the path they had stumbled upon. Rami and Hi each held Kurama's hands tightly, eyes constantly looking left or right for any signs of monsters.
"Cool!" Yoji gleefully piped in. "Now I can kill my first monster!" He happily dragged a large stick behind him, letting the scratches mark the trail just like Kurama had taught him. "Maybe we'll even get to see some ghosts." Kurama glanced down at his eldest son with a smile, feeling the twins grip his hands a little more tightly.
"We'll only see ghosts if they let us see them, Yo-chan," Kurama reminded his first born son. "Ghosts are pretty tricky. They hide really well and you have to be on the look-out for them all the time."
"Do you think we'll see some ghosts, Kurama-touchan?" Rami asked softly, holding Wuzzy firmly to her chest. She wasn't going to bring Wuzzy with her on this trip, but as she explained to everyone while they were packing, 'Wuzzy might get lonely,' so she was forced to bring him along. "Have you ever seen any ghosts?" Worried golden eyes searched her touchan's face. Kurama frowned.
"You know, I don't think I've ever really seen a ghost in person," he said, lifting Rami to his hip. "But, if we do, stick close to touchan and me and we'll scare it away together, ne?" The little youko kit gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, then squirmed down to run off with her twin brother. This prompted the older boys to disappear into the woods as well.
"Remember to listen for the signal!" Kurama shouted, his voice echoing into the distance. "And if you find something, come get us!" The silver youko put his hands on his hips and shook his head with a smile.
"Well, they're off," Kurama chuckled, and turned to join Hiei, who was walking slowly down the path, occasionally kicking a stone out of his way.
Kurama caught up to his life-partner and gently rested his arm around Hiei's shoulders. They walked silently for awhile, Kurama's sensitive ears constantly listening to the sounds of the children's voices or the snapping of twigs as the kits scrambled through the brush just out of sight. The path eventually began to fade into clumps of grass and finally into brush...a dead end. Kurama had been concentrating so much on listening for the children that he didn't realize the path had disappeared. His nostrils flared slightly as he sniffed the air that suddenly smelled familiar. He stopped with a gasp.
"Hn," the Koorime muttered, and looked up. Before them lay the ruins of a castle - a very familiar castle to the youko. Kurama began to tremble as his tail twitched nervously. His vulpine eyes searched the ruins until they settled on a all too familiar grove of petrified bamboo stalks.
"Oh, my Gods," Kurama whispered. Hiei squinted, trying to get his bearings when it suddenly dawned on him that these were the ruins of the castle where Kurama and Kuronue had completed their last heist together - the heist that cost Kuronue his life.
"I completely forgot that this place was so close..." Kurama's voice trailed off, as if talking out loud to himself and not to Hiei. The ruby-eyed youkai shoved his hands into his pockets and let his eyes wander up the tall battlements, now covered in moss and vines. It was obvious that no one was living there now. The castle showed signs of a battle long past, holes here and there in the walls, the roof completely burned away. What was once a grand estate was now being reclaimed by nature.
Hiei turned and followed his lover's form as the kitsune slowly approach the bamboo grove. The Koorime knew very little of this place and of the thief who died here because Kurama didn't talk much about Kuronue or of their relationship. But then Hiei didn't ask many questions of Kurama's past, especially his distant past. This partnership had occurred and ended nearly 400 years ago, well before Hiei was even born. Nothing in these ruins should have had anything to do with him, or so he thought. He quietly approached his lover, who was staring at a cluster of stalks hardened over time nearly into stone.
"This is where he died..." Kurama whispered. The youko reached out and touched one of the stalks. He frowned, then sadly looked down at Hiei.
"No ki. It's dead."
"What were you hoping to find?" Hiei asked, studying the hardened stalk.
"I don't know...something...anything," Kurama answered, running his hand up and down the smooth plant, forever frozen in time. "Maybe confirmation. Confirmation that he really died. I just remember him screaming for me to run away as fast as I could...and I did." Painful images flashed before the silver youko's eyes: running through the forest, clutching some treasure now long gone, the sickening sound of flesh being impaled, the screams of pain, and then the blood. Finally, the youko watching helplessly as Kuronue's blood flowed through the deadly bamboo spears as his life slowly slipped away. Kurama's eyes filled with tears.
"You were trying to survive," Hiei said, looking at his lover's sad face. "Anyone would have done the same, given the same circumstances." The small youkai looked around the grove trying to imagine that night. "Our team knows that for the good of the others the individual loss is unimportant. That team members should..."
"He was more than a team member, Hiei," Kurama's voice trembled. He shook his head as he closed his eyes. "He was more than that...to me."
Hiei chewed on his lip as he watched Kurama sit down on a large boulder near the grove. The kitsune roughly wiped his face with the back of his hand, embarrassed by this sudden show of tears.
Hiei silently walked over to his lover and stood in front of him, forcing Kurama to look up.
"If I ask you a question, will you answer me honestly?" Hiei said softly, lightly touching Kurama's head. He ran his hand down the side of his mate's silky mane.
"I've never lied to you, koibito."
Hiei inhaled slowly through his nostrils, studying some of the strands of silver he held between his fingers.
"If Kuronue hadn't died, would you still be with him today?" Kurama stared into the Koorime's crimson eyes for several moments. He then reached forward and held Hiei's smaller hand in his.
"Hai," Kurama answered with a sniff. "I think I probably would be."
"Is it the memory of his death that has you so upset or is it what I think you're worried about? That I'd be upset if you told me this?"
Kurama inhaled sharply, turning away from his lover, eyes shining again. "Both, I think."
"Kitsune," Hiei said, cupping Kurama's chin in his hand and turning his face towards his. "You loved Kuronue before I even existed. It doesn't upset me, so why should it upset you? I don't worry about your past lovers, especially dead ones." Hiei flinched a bit at the awkwardness of how he said that, but delicacy was not his strong suit.
Kurama rose from the boulder and walked into the grove of bamboo. He lifted his face towards the sun and felt it caress him in a warm embrace. He sighed deeply as he realized that something felt familiar.
"Kuronue was the first lover I actually began to have strong feelings for. He was so much more than just a partner. I think he felt the same way about me, because we always talked like we were going to be together forever. He told me about the places he had already planned for us to rob and how we were going to spend the treasure. I never talked about him because...because I thought you would think I wanted that life instead of what we have now," Kurama looked sadly out over the bamboo tops. "...and, also...because it hurts to remember how I failed him."
Hiei walked up to Kurama and leaned his head against his lover's back. He wrapped his arms around the youko's slender waist and hugged him tightly. Kurama patted his hands and with a nod turned to face his life partner.
"The ghosts from your past don't haunt me, kitsune," Hiei said. "I have no fear of them. They can only haunt you if you let them." Golden eyes met ruby ones. "If Kuronue loved you like I love you, then I'm sure he understood and would have wanted you to live."
"Ai shiteru, koibito," Kurama mouthed, bent down and kissed his mate gently on the lips. Hiei closed his eyes and returned the intimate touch. Some noise in the brush caught their attention and they looked up to see the twins running towards them, Yoji carrying Ryu under his arm like a large bundle of kindling.
"What's going on here?" Kurama asked, regaining his composure, as the twins clung to his legs.
"That little twerp pretended he was a ghost and tried to scared Hi and Rami," Yoji said, dropping his brother onto the ground in a heap. "Just when I was about to kill my first Makai rat, too."
"Oi! That hurts!" Ryu complained brushing his black starburst of hair out of his eyes, getting no sympathy from anyone. "And it wasn't a rat, it was just a stupid little mouse, you jerk!"
"Yeah, well, I coulda' killed it if you hadn't made so much noise." Yoji and Ryu continued their heated discussion while the twins clung tightly to their touchan.
"So you didn't find any monsters then?" Hiei asked, folding his arms across his chest.
"I don't want to. I wanna' go home," Hi whined, moving over to his shorter touchan's leg. "Me, too!" Rami added.
"Well, we saw a ghost," Hiei smiled, looking up at Kurama. The youko gave his lover a puzzled look.
"And he was headed that way," Hiei squinted as he pointed towards home.
"Cool! I'm gonna' go see if I can catch it," Yoji shouted, ruby-gold eyes sparkling with excitement. "Wait for me!!" Ryu yelled, as he ran after his brother.
"Did you really see a ghost, Kurama-touchan?" Rami asked, as Kurama knelt down to brush off his daughter's face. A few leaves had caught in her mane while she ran in fear through the woods.
"Well, sort of," Kurama began softly. "We might have seen the ghost of a really good friend of mine who died here a long, long time ago."
"Is that why you look so sad, touchan?" Rami asked, noticing Kurama's eyes were still a little red.
"Yeah, I guess I was kinda' sad, sweetie."
"Did you cry?" her little voice asked, full of concern.
"Yeah, maybe just a little."
"Well, that's okay to cry when you miss someone you love. That way they know you miss them." Kurama tilted his head with a smile.
"Who taught you that, Rami-chan? Aunt Yukina? Aunt Keiko?"
"Nope," the little youko kit said, giving Kurama a smooch on the cheek. "Hiei-touchan did." Then she and Hi ran off to join their brothers. Kurama raised an eyebrow and stared at his lover.
"Hiei?" Kurama's voice asked musically. Hiei rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue with a sigh.
"I had to say something, fox. You weren't around." He reached a hand out and pulled his lover up with ease. They found the path again and began the long trek back towards home.
"Remember last week when Rami-chan found that disgusting lizard and she wanted to keep it? You were out gallivanting somewhere with Koenma and I was stuck home with the kits. Anyway, the stupid thing died and Rami-chan was upset, so I had to make something up about life and death and how it's okay to miss something or someone you love...what are you grinning at, kitsune?"
"You," Kurama said, beaming. "Just, what a human thing that was to do." Hiei rolled his eyes again.
"You don't have to insult me, you know," Hiei grumbled as Kurama gave him a squeeze. The Koorime looked into his lover's amber gems. "Kurama...I..."
"Shh, don't. It's okay," the youko smiled. "I'm okay."
The trip home was reasonably uneventful. No monsters. No ghosts. The castle would remain undisturbed for centuries. But every once in awhile Kurama would steal away and find that ancient grove of bamboo by the ruins of that castle and sit quietly amongst the stalks and just feel the sun's rays gently caress his body in a warm familiar embrace.
The End
Copyright 5/6/99 Julie Farel
Yuu Yuu Hakusho is the property of Togashi Yoshihiro, Jump Comics and Studio Pierrot.