Blackness. Darker than a moonless night. Crushing pain. Unable to breathe. Then stillness - deathly still; not one sound...
Kurama sat up suddenly, startled out of the nightmare and cried out, clutching at his chest. His hair was wet and matted to his cheeks and forehead. Perspiration ran down the sides of his face and his body was drenched. His heart was pounding in his ears and he had difficulty focusing his eyes in the darkness of their bedchamber. He found himself gasping for air as he looked around the room desperately trying to get his bearings, his large fox-ears turning in all directions, listening for a familiar sound.
Again. He had had this same horrible dream again. His sudden movements woke Hiei who propped himself up onto his elbows.
"Wha...who..." Hiei asked as he glanced around the room for any unseen dangers, all the while reaching for the dagger he always kept under his side of the futon - for emergencies. You never knew when an annoying youkai would invade your home in the Makai. He and Kurama had always managed to stay one foot ahead of danger, moving often. Now that the children were here you could never be too cautious.
Relaxing a bit, Hiei looked over at Kurama who had finally managed to get his heart rate back to normal. They looked at each other in the pre-dawn darkness. There was just enough light coming into their home to see but it still wasn't morning yet.
"Same dream, again..." Hiei asked as he rubbed his left eye with his fist. He hated to be startled awake. It disturbed his ki. He used to be able to wake up and be ready to fight at a moment's notice, but living with Kurama and the children had made him more tired and he tended to sleep deeper than before. Of course, he blamed this on Kurama's humanness - that tie Kurama still had with Shuuichi's spirit, even though Shuuichi had died many years ago.
"Hai, again", Kurama replied as he drew his knees up towards his chest, wrapping his arms around them in an effort to calm himself down further. "I don't know what's going on. Why am I having such an awful dream?" He shook his head slightly and frowned, resting his chin on his knees. "It's almost like something really bad has happened but I can't figure out what it is."
"Maybe it's just indigestion," Hiei said with a snort as he settled sleepily back down unto the futon. He fluffed up one of the pillows Yukina had given them as a wedding present and let himself mold back into the futon to sleep. "Maybe it's something you ate."
"Are you commenting on my cooking?" Kurama asked with the beginnings of a smile, raising up an eyebrow. "It's never bothered you or the children before."
"I dunno..." Hiei's voice trailed off as he quickly fell back to sleep. Kurama sat up awake for a while longer before deciding he may as well try to get some more sleep as well. With a large sigh he settled back down and wondered whatever it was that was disturbing his dreams would have to wait to be discovered at another time.
"Are we really going to the Ningenkai?" asked a squirming Rami as Kurama finished rinsing out her hair and tail with a sweet smelling flower mixture he had made. Kurama wanted all of his children to look - and smell - their best today. For today, Hiei had finally agreed to allow the entire family to visit the Human World and meet some of their relatives who, as Hiei noted, were "stuck" in that awful place.
"Can Ojisan really use a sword made out of light?" Yoji asked Hiei as he finished washing Yoji's face. Hiei was trying to get firstborn Yoji and his second son Ryu ready. "That must be really cool to see. I'll bet he can slice 15 youkais with one swing!" Hiei looked over at Kurama and rolled his eyes. *Sure, that baffoon can do anything with that sword. It's when he's a regular human that I can't stand 'em!* Hiei thought to himself, or so he believed. Kurama looked back at his life-partner and said "Now, Hiei, be nice today. It's a special treat to go visit the Ningenkai and introduce our children to their father's friends and relatives. "Hn" was all Hiei could snort under his breath.
"What's your Shiori-kaasan look like" asked Rami, as Kurama finished smoothing her silky silver mop. They looked and acted so much alike that Hiei often would watch them with a slight smile on his lips. Kurama got his wish, Hiei said to himself. He finally got his little girl.
"Well," Kurama started as he picked Rami up and placed her on his hip. She immediately stuck her thumb in her mouth and with the other hand began to twirl Kurama's hair. "First of all, she's a human so she may seem a little weaker than the people you meet here in the Makai." Rami's tail swished over Kurama's arm as he supported her backside. His other hand was resting on her leg as he leaned his hip slightly into the embrace. "But she's very pretty and very sweet," he said, tapping Rami on the nose with his index finger. "And she can't wait to meet all of you, especially you, Rami. Obasan's never had a little girl of her own so she plans on spoiling you rotten."
"I don't know how much more she can be spoiled..." Hiei said under his breath, smiling slightly at Kurama.
"That's 'coz I'm special 'coz I'm the only girl in our fambly," Rami said as she stuck her tongue out at Yoji and Ryu who were giggling at the funny face Hiei was making, complete with rolling eyes and a "gag me" expression.
She looked back at her youko father. "Ai shiteru, touchan," Rami whispered to Kurama as she put her forehead against his and nuzzled noses, a very foxy way to kiss.
"Ai shiteru naosara, kawaii hito," was always Kurama's whispered answer back.
As Kurama gently placed Rami back down, he looked around. "Where's Hi? He should be getting ready," Kurama said looking around their dwelling for Rami's twin brother. "I'll bet he's still down by the lake playing in the water..." Kurama said, to no one in particular, as he went in search of his youngest son.
Hiei and Kurama's "dwelling" was actually more like a split-level tree house, though not too high off the ground. Kurama's natural youko instinct was to build a den, something a fire demon would never think about. Kurama had found the location while hunting for dinner one night. A huge oak tree had fallen over in a storm many years before and almost succeeded in rerooting itself into a gnarled, rather grotesque jumble of limbs forming natural levels on which to construct an unusual home. The tree finally died but for some reason the wood petrified solid and formed this fabulous foundation. Hiei and Kurama were able to build a living area with a basic fireplace for cold nights, a cooking area with supplies either stolen in the Makai or given as wedding presents from their friends in the Ningenkai, a bedchamber for the fathers and one bedchamber for the children. Bathroom facilities were of the "natural" variety, this never really being a problem in the Makai for youkos, or fire demons for that matter. It made "housebreaking" the kids really easy, although Rami thought it was gross to have to go outside in the rain. Even though they had moved several times in the past, they were quite comfortable here now, and had been able to hide the house from predators with Kurama's botanical skills of camouflage and scent deception.
They had little in the way of furnishings, using only what they absolutely needed in case of a sudden need to leave. One of the things Hiei hated about the Ningenkai was Kurama's attachment to "creature comforts." Kurama had fashioned a sort of sofa out of very lush tropical leaves and bound them together with natural vines, making it quite comfortable and very biodegradable, if necessary. Yukina had given them wonderfully soft pillows as a wedding present. Hiei didn't much understand the need for them as he had always sat up in a tree to sleep before marrying Kurama, but he somehow managed to force himself to use them now. Keiko and Yuusake gave them a deliciously soft futon that was easily folded in the daytime, plus it could be carried on the back if an emergency exit was called for - Kurama assured Hiei he would carry it, if necessary. Hiei's response, of course, was a muttered "Hn."
After the children were born, they each slept with Kurama and Hiei until their kicking and grabbing got too much; then they were given their own mini-futons to sleep on. Pillows and covers were useless as they were always kicked off well before dawn. The twins tended to sleep curled up next to one another and Yoji and Ryu often joined the younger children on cooler nights, the four of them all snuggled together like pack-mates.
Kurama found Hi still playing down by the lake, lagging behind as usual. For a fire demon's son, he had an unnatural fondness for playing in water. Then again, Kurama was very fond of swimming in the lake so maybe Hi's affinity for water did come from his youko side. It came in handy when teaching Hi fire tricks - you never had to worry about anything inadvertently catching on fire!
"C'mon, Hi. We're keeping everyone waiting." Kurama said firmly, but not too harshly. He loved watching the children play, even when they were supposed to be doing other things, as Hi was splashing the water in an effort to make more mud.
"Just a few more minutes, Kurama-touchan, ple-e-e-ase?" Hi pleaded, well, whined actually. He had just made the most incredible mud pie when one of his fathers showed up, and he wanted to put the finishing touches on it - grass, rocks, burnt bugs and stuff.
"Well, hurry up. You still have to get cleaned up for Obasan." Kurama said as he started to brush off Hi's arms and legs. It amazed Kurama how dirty a child could get in so short a period of time.
"Hey. Isn't that Koenma-san and Botan-san?" Hi asked, looking back over Kurama's shoulders as he held himself still to be brushed off. Kurama, who had been kneeling down to tidy up his son turned to look at who Hi was talking about and sure enough is was Koenma in teenage form and Botan, holding hands as they walked towards them, but looking very grim. "I wonder what they want?" Kurama asked himself. "And how did Koenma manage to get away from his desk?"
"Konichiwa, Kurama-kun." Koenma said very solemnly. "I hope I'm not disturbing you but can I talk to you for a few minutes? It's very important." Koenma placed his had on Kurama's shoulder. "I'd like to talk to you in private, if that's alright. Botan, could you bring Hi back to Hiei and wait for us?" Kurama looked down at Hi who had taken Kurama's hand when the two visitors showed up. He stepped behind his father for protection even though he had nothing to worry about. Good instinct, all the same, though.
"Hai, Koenma-kun" was all Botan said, never making eye contact with Kurama. Kurama watched as Botan lead Hi away. "It's okay, Hi, I'll be right there" Kurama said, knowing that Hi was still a bit nervous in the care of other people even though he knew Koenma and Botan. What Botan didn't want Kurama to see was the pain in her eyes - for him.
"Kurama, walk with me a little" Koenma said softly as he began to lead them away from the rest of his family. "I have something really difficult to tell you and I thought this would be the best way."
Kurama was beginning to get a bit nervous with the way Koenma was acting. Surely nothing he would have to tell him could possibly be this upsetting. He frowned as he glanced back over at Hiei, who seemed to listening very intently to what Botan was telling him.
Koenma took his pacifier from his mouth and began. "A form came through the Reikai this morning, Kurama. A form from the Ningenkai." Koenma stared at the ground between himself and Kurama as if willing himself to continue to speak. "I can't find the words to say this any gentler...but...there was a big earthquake in the Ningenkai two nights ago. A lot of humans were killed. One human in particular, Kurama." After a pause, he continued to speak, just above a whisper. "Kurama, Shiori was killed in the earthquake. Her house was very near the fault line and it collapsed and crushed her, killing her instantly, from what I understand in the report. I wanted to tell you personally because you're a good friend of mine...." Koenma's voice trailed off. He couldn't bring himself to look directly into Kurama's golden eyes.
Kurama stared at Koenma. That dream, that damned dream. Was it Shiori talking to him? Was he feeling Shiori's pain? The dream was frightening; it was dark; and it was painful. Kurama looked up to where Botan was talking with Hiei and the children. Botan appeared to be crying as Hiei looked back over at Kurama trying to read his lover's reaction. The children were off to the side playing with some small youkai creature they had caught and were torturing, unaware of the incredible loss their father had just experienced. Kurama's face hardened, his ears flattening to his head. Hiei tried to mentally send his beloved a message but couldn't get through - Kurama's thoughts were suddenly too jumbled. Kurama felt the hairs on the back of his neck start to rise and his tail twitched nervously from side to side.
"I don't believe it," Kurama said rather harshly. "I want proof."
"You can't go to the Ningenkai right now, you'll be seen." Koenma told Kurama. "And, besides, there's just too much pandemonium going on in the city right now. All the bodies haven't even been collected yet. My desk is overflowing, Kurama. If I get caught by Enma-sama for being away from my duty, man, I'll get spanked for a year for sure."
"I want proof." Kurama repeated staring coldly into Koenma's eyes. "You must have a way to show me," he hissed through his teeth as he tried to suppress a snarl. His golden eyes were glowing...
Koenma looked at Kurama for a second, then looked away. This was too hard for him. "Well," he sighed, "there is a way but I can only show you for about 30 seconds. There's a tape made of every day on the computer in my office of several places in world, especially of disasters, so I can keep up with the backlash of people. I kept the portion of the tape from the other day just in case I...misread...any names; this was such a big earthquake, Kurama-kun. Your kaasan's section of the city is still available to view but it's only for 30 seconds. I gotta erase it or Enma-sama will get suspicious. You can come with me now and view it, if that will ease your mind any."
Ease my mind? What was he talking about - ease my mind. He's just told me my kaasan was crushed to death. What could possibly ease my mind...
"Let's go," Kurama said very clipped. They started to walk to where Hiei and the children were waiting with Botan. "Tell Botan to tell Hiei to bring the children home and wait for me." Kurama said softly, staring straight ahead, not looking towards Hiei or the children. He couldn't. Not right now. There were too many feelings rushing through his mind all at once.
While Koenma was talking with Kurama, Botan had told Hiei as best she could the events that had happened two nights before. Hiei immediately thought of Yukina. Botan assured him that Yukina and her family were fine, only minor structural damage and a few broken dishes, that's all. Hiei sighed in relief, a very public display of emotion for him. Why couldn't a jerk like Kuwabara get killed instead of Kurama's kaasan, he said to himself. But then he thought of the grief his sister would be experiencing right now and realized that wasn't necessarily a better answer. The children started to pull on Hiei's hands, asking what was going on. Hiei told them the plans had to change - there was an emergency in the Ningenkai right now so the gates between worlds was closed for non-emergency traffic.
"Does that mean we can't meet Kurama-touchan's kaasan?" Rami asked Hiei, trying not to sound as disappointed as she looked. It was all that she had talked about for a week. Yoji, Ryu and Hi were looking forward to meeting their uncle and seeing if he'd let them kill something with his boss sword.
"I'm afraid so, musume," Hiei said softly, putting his arm around Rami's and Hi's shoulders and shooing them along with the older children. "We'll have to wait for Kurama-touchan at home. Yoji, put that creature down and let's go." Hiei's eldest son dropped the dead thing and brushed his hands on his pants legs. He ran to catch up with Hiei and the twins and his brother as they headed for home. Hiei looked back once more to try to see how Kurama was, but Kurama had already left with Koenma. Botan stood silent, staring at the ground for a few minutes, then ran to catch up to Koenma and Kurama. As they headed to Koenma's office Botan reached out and took Kurama's hand. Kurama held hers but did not look at her. He didn't really look at anything. He just followed Koenma out of instinct, moving his feet one in front of the other.
When they arrived back at Koenma's office in the Reikai, the place was in total chaos. George came running up to Koenma, who had converted back to the toddler size he often was in when he was working.
"Where have you been? This place is a madhouse. I haven't seen this many processings since the last plague!" George rambled on and on about the mess and the papers and how were they going to finish in time...Koenma plopped himself down behind his desk and turned on his computer.
"Kurama, come over here and sit in my chair. You can watch my monitor but it can only play once, and only for 30 seconds" Koenma explained to him as he clicked and clicked the mouse until he found the right section of tape. "When you're ready to watch this, just click this once," Koenma said as he showed Kurama the place on the screen. "Just...leave it when you're done." He got up and put his hand on Kurama's shoulder as the youko sat down and stared at the screen. "And, Kurama. Gomen nasai. If there's anything I can do..." Koenma motioned to Botan for them to leave the room so Kurama could watch the tape in private.
Kurama stared at the computer screen for what seemed an eternity. Can I really do this? Do I really want to see this? He asked himself. Finally, he set his jaw, clicked the mouse to the spot Koenma had shown him, took a deep breath, and closed his eyes..
When he opened them, he saw what looked like a scene played out in a disaster movie he'd watched when he still lived in the Ningenkai. Buildings shaking, people running, fire and smoke everywhere. Kurama squinted his eyes to try and make out his old human house and just when he was about to give up he saw what looked like his front porch, except it was lying off to the side of the house. The second floor was where the first floor should have been. The tree that Hiei used to climb up to sneak into Kurama's room was lying on top of the roof snapped in half and there was glass and horribly splintered wood everywhere. Then he saw her. Shiori was still in her bed. She looked like she was sleeping, except for a massive beam lying across her chest. And she was quite dead. There was no color to her face except for a terrible bruise forming on her cheekbone and a blue tinge to her lips and eyelids. But she looked eerily peaceful. What did she feel in her last moments? Was she even aware of what had happened? Her left arm was badly crushed near her face. Did she try to cover her face in the last seconds of life? Does she know how much I'm going to miss her...?
Suddenly the monitor he was watching went black and it startled Kurama so much that his reflects caused him to gasp and lean back. He stared at the screen, breathing very slow and deliberate. This isn't real. This can't be happening to me, he thought to himself. I just saw her last week and made these arrangements. This is a mistake. She had been so excited....
Koenma and Botan quietly returned to the office and went over to Kurama, who was still staring at the blank screen. Botan sniffled as she put her hand on Kurama's shoulder. "Gomen nasai, Kurama. If there's anything I can do, please..."
"What can you do?" Kurama repeated, rather cruelly, still staring the blackened screen. "What the Hell can anyone do?" As he got up he gave the monitor shove and it went crashing to the floor. He was out the door in an instant, Botan gasping and covering her mouth with her hands, Koenma left scratching his head wondering how he would explain this little mess to Enma-sama - and survive.
Once outside of Koenma's office, Kurama's mind raced in a hundred different directions. He thought as he ran towards the gates of the Makai about Shiori. She said she didn't mind living alone for so many years since his stepfather had died but Kurama still worried about her. Would she be all right in an emergency; how could he find out if she was too sick to contact him; did she have enough money - although there was nothing he could do about that now that he was living in the Makai. He thought of the time when his human form Shuuichi was dying from a sudden, virulent case of pneumonia and how his youko spirit could now return to the Makai having had its one chance at rebirth. Shuuichi had served Kurama very well. It was then that Shiori learned about Kurama the fox demon. It made Shuuichi's passing a little easier knowing she still had a son; granted, a very different son. Shuuichi had changed Kurama's life and he owed it all to Shiori. She taught him how to love. How could she now be dead?
His chest started to ache as he realized he wasn't breathing properly as he ran so he slowed down his running to a steady jog. He wanted to make the Ningenkai by nightfall, using the cover of darkness to hide his youko form. He had to see, to touch. He had to go visit the place where he had spent 25 of the most crucial years of his existence. Kurama remembered he had met Hiei due to Shiori. He had heard that some demons were going to steal the Three Treasures, and the most precious artifact, the Mirror of Utter Dark, was what he needed to save Shiori's life when she became so deathly ill. He met and joined Hiei on that job - they would need a fox's cunning to steal something that important. Something else wound up being stolen. Kurama's heart. He had fallen in love with Hiei at first sight.
As Kurama approached the gates, he noticed there were extra guards attempting to keep some sort of order. George was trying to bark out orders of which line formed here and who should go there. In the chaos this would be Kurama's best opportunity to sneak past them and head for home. *Home*. He hadn't called it that in so long. Why would that word pop into his mind. His home was with Hiei and the children in the Makai - as Hiei often pointed out when Kurama made plans to visit Shiori. She was the one human Hiei liked, being able to only tolerate Yusuke and Keiko, promising not to kill Kuwabara because he was his sister's husband.
When Kurama arrived in the city, there was an unearthly calm hanging in the smoke-filled air. There were chard remains of houses - the earthquake unfortunately set off many fires due to the gas mains breaking. Puddles of water, with a slimy film of oil and dirt and blood, were everywhere. There were no lights on anywhere but his youko's sensitive ears and sense of smell led him to where he needed to go. He stood in front of what once was his human home. Just like on the monitor - the porch was in the wrong place but part of the tree had been moved away, perhaps in an effort to remove Shiori's body. As if to confirm the grim scene, a huge red "D.B.131" had been sprayed painted over the area that was once Shiori's bedroom and Kurama saw the remains of her mattress, covered in darkened, dried blood.
What did he hope to find here. It had been two days since she had died but the wreckage looked like it had just happened moments ago. Memories flashed through Kurama's brain like a video shown at fast speed. All the major events that took place here rushed past him. He had heard humans describe near-death experiences and how their life passed before them. Why was this happening to him now?
A slight movement caught Kurama's ear and he turned swiftly around to see a small human figure moving towards him very slowly in the darkness. He held his breath as the figure slowly came into view.
"So you're Kurama. You really do exist after all," a soft, sweet mature-woman's voice began. "Shiori told me about you but I didn't really believe her. I thought she made you up after her son Shuuichi died. But here you are. Do you remember me, dear?"
As Kurama struggled to see the woman's face through the darkness and smoke, he suddenly realized who she was.
"Mrs. Yammato, yes, I remember you. You live a few houses from here." Kurama said, relaxing a bit at finding someone he knew from his past life. Mrs. Yammato lived three houses down and was Shiori's friend from the local social center she had joined after Kurama's stepfather died. They would shop together once a week and then have lunch. Shiori had confided in her after Shuuichi "died" - she felt she had to talk to someone or she'd go crazy. Mrs. Yammato would nod and act interested as Shiori told her of Kurama's life in the Makai, his really being a youko, having golden eyes with silver fur, large ears and a beautiful tail, but she never really believed her - until now.
"Are you okay? Is your house damaged?" Kurama asked, knowing Mrs. Yammato was also a widow and alone. She was about 12 years older than Shiori and had been a widow for a long time. Kurama noticed she was carrying a small package in her hand.
"Oh, no, dear. I'm just fine. My house isn't, though. I have some major damage to the front and side but I think it can be repaired. But it's only one level so there wasn't much to fall...oh, dear. Gomen..." her voice trailed off as she looked at Kurama's old house and realized what the damage here meant. "Your kaasan and I were very good friends," she said after a moment. "I know that she loved you very much because she talked about you all the time. She showed me all the beautiful flowers you would leave for her. I always thought she just picked them up at the florist. She was looking forward to your visit." Mrs. Yammato looked back at the house and said, "I don't think she felt any pain. It seemed to happen so quickly. It all happened so quickly." As she spoke, a slow rumble was beginning off in the distance. An aftershock was coming. Kurama quickly grabbed Mrs. Yammato and they stood very close as the ground beneath them shook slightly, the rumble sounding like distant thunder. And then it was over.
"Oh, dear. These aftershocks have been happening every day, although they have been getting milder each time. Maybe the earth will go back to sleep for a while," Mrs. Yammato said, looking at Kurama's face with the sweetness of an Obasan. He could see why his kaasan liked her. What he remembered of her was that she was the kind of neighbor who always looked after you, made sure you were all right after a big storm or that you had food in a family crisis. He let go of her shoulders and looked at her face in the darkness. The anger that he felt when he first arrived had subsided a little. He looked back over at the house.
"What will happen to this place now?" Kurama asked. "There's no one left from my human family who would want this place." Mrs. Yammato thought it sounded so odd Kurama talking about human things like houses and family when she was looking at a six-foot tall silver-haired fox/man.
"The government officer came by yesterday and wanted to know who would be staying to rebuild, and since no one came from your family the building has been condemned. It will be bulldozed in a few days." Mrs. Yammato said sadly. "Was there anything from inside that you wanted? I'm sure you can go in but, please, be very careful. There's glass and splintered wood everywhere."
While he hadn't lived here in over 10 human years, what bits of memories could possibly still be inside that would ease this pain Kurama felt in his heart. No, there was nothing left for him here.
"Arigato, but no. I don't think I'd like to go inside" Kurama said as he turned back to Mrs. Yammato, who was staring at him. She still couldn't believe what she was looking at. Then, a sweet smile came to her lips as she took up Kurama's right hand and placed the small package inside it.
"I found this next to your mother's bed when they asked me to go in and identify her body. She always kept this on her nightstand. I was with her when she bought it. Now I understand what it means." Kurama looked at her and titled his head in wonder. "Open it. I'm sure your kaasan would have wanted you to keep it," she said. Kurama removed the brown packing paper it was carefully wrapped in and found in his hands a tiny, unbroken crystal figure of a fox. He stared at the precious items and felt his eyes mist up. His head began to ache, starting at the base of his neck, a burning kind of headache. He felt his stomach turn, and his jaw stiffen. "Arigato gozaimas," Kurama whispered and he awkwardly hugged Mrs.Yammato. He didn't know her enough to let his guard down and, besides, he was still too angry at the helplessness of the situation. "If there's anything I can do, please let me know," she said. Do? What can anyone do?
"I have to go now. I need to find my husb.... my other relatives who live on the other side of the city," Kurama said, staring at the ground as he let Mrs. Yammato gently out of his embrace. "I appreciate this very much. I wish...."
"That's quite all right, son. You go. I'll be fine here. If you ever do come back for a visit, I'd love to see you again," Mrs. Yammato said with sparkling eyes. "I'll try" was all Kurama could think of to say as he turned at headed towards Yukina's home. His head was pounding and he couldn't see clearly. He traveled the darkened city to Yukina's and Kuwabara's home on instinct, never looking up, again watching his feet make the journey as if guided by themselves. While he walked, he folded the paper wrapping back over the crystal figure and put it into his pocket.
The distance between Shiori's home and Yukina's was only a few miles but in that short distance the amount of damage was noticeably different. About a mile from his old home there wasn't nearly the amount of devastation that was on his old street. And a mile past there the homes looked remarkably intact, an occasional broken window, or toppled mailbox. Nothing to mark the incredible events of two days previous.
As he walked up the front porch he heard voices coming from inside. "I think it's Kurama" he heard Kuwabara say as he was met at the front door. As Kuwabara opened the door, several small female demons dressed just like small female humans came rushing at him from inside. "Kurama-ojisan!!" they all screamed and grabbed at him and tried to hug him all at once. "Kurama-kun, what a pleasant surprise." Yukina said as she greeted her brother-in-law with a peck on the cheek. "I thought you were coming with Hiei and the children tomorrow," she said as she glanced out the door, looking for her brother.
She doesn't know, Kurama thought to himself. "Are you all right, you seem a bit tired." Yukina said looking at Kurama and noticing that he hadn't smiled or hugged the girls like he always did when he visited her. "Did you get to see Shiori yet? We've been stuck inside for two days with no electricity. We don't even know how bad the earthquake was that hit us a few days ago." Yukina went on as Kurama walked into the front room of the house. The girls were pulling on their uncle in an effort to get him to play with them as he always did. He stared at Yukina, his face set in anger. "She's dead. Shiori is dead," Kurama whispered in a tone that both frightened and concerned Yukina. "Her house fell on top of her while she was sleeping and she was killed instantly." Yukina put her hands up to her mouth and gasped as Kuwabara looked at Kurama and scratched his head saying simply "Holy Shit."
"Kaasan, what's wrong. Did something bad happened." Kori asked as she and her sisters looked up at the adults in the room and wondered why they had suddenly gotten so quiet and so upset and why their daddy had said such a bad word. "Um, Kori, why don't you take your sisters upstairs while touchan and I talk with Uncle Kurama a bit." Kori shrugged her shoulders and took her sisters by the hand and they went upstairs, wondering what was wrong with Kurama-ojisan. He usually had played three games with them by now.
"Oh my gods, Kurama-kun, what happened?" Yukina asked as the three of them sat down on the sofa, Kurama's tail flicking like a nervous cat's. "We haven't had electricity for two days so we didn't hear anything about any damage from this 'quake. I didn't think it was bad enough to contact Hiei since we were all fine." She gathered up Kurama's hands and held them for a moment, but released them when she got no response. " Gomen nasai, Kurama-kun. Are you sure? Have you checked..." Yukina's voice trailed off as she looked at Kurama's face. "Of course, you have." He seemed to be staring at nothing in particular until she said, "Is there anything we can do?"
Kurama turned his head and glared at his sister-in-law. "Why do people keep asking me if there's anything they can do? What the Hell can they do? They can't bring Shiori back to life, can they?"
"Gomen, Kurama-kun" Yukina whispered, her eyes filling up with tears. "It's just that, well..."
"No. There's nothing anybody can do," Kurama said bitterly, looking at Yukina and then at Kuwabara. "I just need you to find out if she's been buried next to my stepfather. The rest - is pointless." With that he rose to leave. "Kurama-kun, dozo..." Yukina started to say. Kurama paused for a moment at the door and then said softly, "Tell the girls I'm sorry we can't visit with them right now." And then he was gone.
Yukina began to cry softly as Kuwabara held her gently in his arms.
As Kurama made his way back to the Makai his headache was so bad he had to stop and vomit twice. He rubbed at his aching chest. He felt all the muscles of his body rebelling at the strain of walking. He saw the lights of the gates and was able to slip back past the Reikai and back inside the Makai without any of the guards noticing - things were still insane in Koenma's office. Kurama could see a long line forming, George shouting instructions. Kurama approached his home to find Hiei sitting on the huge limb that hid most of the front door. Kurama stopped a few steps from the door and stared at Hiei. Hiei jumped off the limb and landed silently in front of Kurama.
Hiei moved forward slightly but stopped as he noticed Kurama didn't look quite right. "Are you okay, kitsune? Is there anything I can do?" Kurama's head snapped around and he glared at Hiei. "If one more person asks me that I'm gonna kill them," he growled and walked inside. Hiei put up his hands and took a step back, totally confused by this behavior in his otherwise loving partner.
Once inside Kurama sat down on their futon in a huff. He crossed his legs and put his head into his hands. Hiei had followed Kurama into the bedchamber. "Did you see Yukina? Was everything okay with them..." Hiei started to say but Kurama cut him off. "They're fine. Everybody else is just fine!" After a very long, awkward pause, Hiei walked a little closer to Kurama. "Aren't you gonna ask about the kids, kitsune?" he said softly and somewhat annoyed. "They've been asking for you all night. I finally convinced them to go to sleep."
"I'm sure they're fine, too. They have another parent here to take care of them, don't they?" Kurama said very sarcastically to the floor in front of him where Hiei was standing. After an agonizing silence, Kurama looked up at Hiei and said softly "Look, I just want to go to bed. I have an incredible headache. I just want to sleep..."
"Fine," Hiei said very clipped. "I'll leave you alone." Then Hiei left the bedchamber and went to sleep outside on the limb, where he liked sleeping anyway. Kurama looked around the dark room and sighed. He lay back on the futon with his arms by his sides and stared at the ceiling. Was it his headache that caused his eyes to suddenly well up with tears? Was it the gift Mrs. Yammato gave him from his mother's house? He felt his chin start to quiver, a trait Shuuichi used to have that always told Hiei he was about to cry, and one that was still part of him now as a youko. He felt hot tears slowly roll down the sides of his face and into his hair. His ears drooped down and he felt himself begin to sob as he rolled over and buried his face in the pillows. He curled up into a tight ball, wrapping himself in his long tail for comfort. He felt like he was losing his mind as he cried himself to sleep.
After having a fitful night of endless tossing and turning, Kurama didn't feel any better the next morning and he didn't want to see anybody. Hiei had gotten the children up and fed and was about to take them out of the house when he caught sight of Yukina in the distance. Hiei greeted his sister with a very human gesture - a kiss - and seemed very surprised to see her, as she didn't visit the Makai very often anymore. "Yukina-sama!" the kids yelled as ran up to greet her as well. They loved visitors from the Ningenkai, especially their sweet aunt, and until yesterday had hoped they would get to visit in person soon. After a bunch of hugs and kisses, they scampered on their way into the underbrush near their home.
"How's Kurama-kun?" she asked as she glanced towards the house. "He was so full of anger and pain last night that I had to come and find out how he was. He's taking this so hard."
"I wouldn't know how he's taking it, he won't talk to me about it," Hiei said with a shrug as Rami wandered back over to listen to what one of her fathers and aunt were talking about. The boys had found some small animal to torture and were chasing it into the woods. Rami sucked her right thumb as she held her Wuzzy tightly in the left. Wuzzy was her favorite doll, Kurama having stolen it for her one day in the Makai market from a very obnoxious demon-child having a temper tantrum. Wuzzy was constantly being kidnapped and held for ransom by three very annoying demon brothers. Kurama had to rescue Wuzzy on a weekly basis from being burned at the stake or hanged by a miniature rose whip. Wuzzy was very special to Rami. Kurama was the only other person "allowed" to touch him, especially since Wuzzy had to be washed at least once a week. Hiei felt she was too attached to an inanimate object and tried to encourage her to get rid of it; this was always met with an even tighter hug around Wuzzy's fuzzy neck. Wuzzy was called Wuzzy because Rami kept asking Kurama questions about him. "Wuz he from a store in the Ningenkai? Wuz he always brown? Wuz he happy you stoled him for me?" Rami never got tired of asking questions.
"Would you like me to stay for a few days and help you with the children, niisan?" Yukina asked. "Kuwabara's kaasan is coming over so I know he's in good hands. I'd like to help if I could. I feel I should do something for Kurama-kun, but he was so angry last night. I don't think I've ever heard him say a nasty thing to me, ever," she said, her face becoming very sad as she looked at Hiei and then back at the house.
"Kurama was rude - to you?" Hiei asked incredulously. He looked around for the boys, as he patted Rami on the back. She was hanging onto his pants leg listening very intently to their conversation. "I guess I could use a little help with these guys if you'd like to stay," Hiei said. "I know I'd appreciate it even if he won't."
"Why don't I take Rami inside and she can show me where you keep everything. We won't disturb Kurama-touchan, right Rami," Yukina said smiling down at her youko niece. "I haven't had a chance to have a good visit with this little girl for a long time." Yukina took Rami's hand and let the child lead her into the house while Hiei went off in search of his sons.
"How am I gonna get through this?" Kurama thought to himself as he swallowed the last of the St. John's Wort tea Yukina had brewed for him. Tea was about the only thing he would accept, or keep down. Yukina's maternal instinct was too strong to let her brother-in-law not accept at least something to drink. She would leave the tea beside the futon and gently stroke Kurama's head. He would look at her with a stare, his eyes seeming to search her face for an answer. Yukina would simply smile and sigh, then leave him alone.
He felt he was losing his mind to grief. Other people have lost parents. People die all the time. His own parents were dead centuries but he didn't remember carrying on so much when they passed. Maybe fox families are really different from human families. As soon as you could catch something to eat you were out of the den. Why, then, was he so devastated that he could barely function? He couldn't think clearly. He couldn't sleep or eat. He couldn't bring himself to speak above a whisper and when he did he found himself choking on a sob. All he could muster were yes or no answers. Are you hungry - no. Do you want to talk - no. Should we leave you alone - hai!! Even Hiei couldn't break through this veil of silence Kurama had hung over himself. Several days had passed but Kurama didn't notice. He hadn't left the bedchamber save for trips outside to the bathroom when no one was aware. He didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone. He would just lie on the futon and either stare at the ceiling or bury his face in the pillows and whimper like a wounded animal, sometimes running out of tears while his body continued to tremble in grief.
What was it, then? Depression? Anger? Self-pity at losing the strongest tie he had to a world his lover barely tolerated, and only because his sister had chosen to live there with that idiot Kuwabara. Was this the way humans grieved over the loss of a parent? He didn't remember feeling this way about his stepfather. Was there some unspoken regret he was afraid to say out loud or even to himself? He couldn't believe he was feeling guilty - he faithfully visited Shiori every few months in the Ningenkai for the past 10 years. They'd arrange to meet secretly. The visits almost became a game for Kurama, the fox in him loving the idea of "stealing" time. Shiori would comment on how Kurama hadn't changed one bit but how she got older. Even now, when Kurama's life was so busy with the children, he still managed to visit; always promising that next time he would bring the kids. Maybe that was it. Maybe there was a sense of unfairness and guilt in realizing Shiori never did get to meet his handsome boys and darling angel. But how could they have visited before now. It was too dangerous for the children when they were younger. Certain youkai preyed on small demon children and with four youngsters in tow Hiei and Kurama couldn't protect all of them at once. Kurama made sure the children knew of Shiori and even brought back pictures of her for them to look at. Cameras didn't work for some reason in the Makai so Kurama could never show Shiori his brood. Shiori always made sure to send Kurama home to the Makai with all kinds of human goodies for the children and even some slices of that special bread that she made that Hiei said he liked, but really loved.
Where did Kurama belong, then? Was the human spirit of Shuuichi still so strong within his youko soul as to pull Kurama back and forth between worlds? The Makai was now his home, with Hiei and his children, even though it was full of danger. It's true that the Ningenkai, with all its modern conveniences, offered Kurama things he could never get in the Makai. But mostly it held the one human he truly loved. And now she was gone.
Kurama let out a ragged sighed and felt himself grow heavy into the futon. He felt the softness of Yukina's pillow caress his left cheek as he attempted to let himself sleep. Sleep. It seemed to Kurama that was how this nightmare first began and where, now, peaceful slumber was eluding him, zapping all his strength.
The house was unnaturally quiet, Hiei constantly shushing the children as they played. Yukina was preparing a delicious dinner of rabbit and wild mushroom stew, with the help of a certain little youko assistant. Rami was becoming such a "girl", copying Yukina or other female youko's they'd meet in the Makai market. Rami enjoyed visits from her aunt because Yukina always brought along one or two of the dresses her daughters had outgrown. While Rami liked to dress just like her youko-touchan, she liked the idea of "dress-up", something Hiei thought was ridiculous. Clothes were to be functional, that's all. Kurama, of course, loved it - she was his little doll.
Hiei started to usher the boys outside to help gather wood for the evening fire. This was something Hiei liked to do, showing his sons how to light the wood with one blast of his ki - something the boys thought was way cool. He had forbidden the children to disturb Kurama, explaining that he didn't feel well and needed to be left alone.
"What's wrong with Kurama-touchan?" Rami asked, after being shooed away for the third time that day from the entrance to Hiei's and Kurama's bedchamber.
"Kurama-touchan has a really bad headache" Hiei explained simply, putting on his cloak.
"What's a headache?" Rami asked, petting her Wuzzy on the head in an effort to understand what Hiei had just said. She questioned every little thing that was said to her, always wanting to know "doshite" or "nani".
"It's like a tummy-ache in your head," Yoji explained, speaking like the voice of experience. Rami seemed to grasp the discomfort her father must have been feeling because she became very quiet, petting Wuzzy a little more tenderly.
"Couldn't Kurama-touchan just take some medicine and get all right?' she asked as she glanced at the bedchamber once again.
Hiei knelt down so that he was eye-level with his daughter.
"I don't think this is the kind of headache that medicine can make go away, Rami-chan," he explained, speaking softly and looking into the golden eyes that were so familiar and haunting. "Kurama-touchan has a sad kind of headache, and we need to leave him alone so he can get himself better." He brushed a few silver strand out of her eyes and thought "Gods, you look so much like Kurama..." Then, standing up to take the three boys outside, added "and besides, if you don't leave him alone you'll feel my hand on your bottom, ne?"
"Hai," Rami answered as she cradled her Wuzzy in her right arm tightly and slowly began sucking her right thumb.
"Rami-chan can help me make dinner while you boys are outside," Yukina said. "I'll keep an eye on her, niisan," she said as she smiled at Hiei. She took Rami's hand and led her to where she was cooking. As Hiei and the boys left to do their macho-manly thing with fire, Rami sat on the floor next to Yukina and watcher her aunt clean off the mushrooms that Kurama loved so much.
"Yukina-san? What's a *kaasan*?" Rami asked, fingering a piece of rabbit carcass that had fallen to the floor. "Do I have a kaasan?"
"Well, you don't really have a kaasan but you have two wonderful touchans so you're extra lucky," Yukina explained, hoping that sometimes the least said the better. Male youkai reproduction in the Makai was a subject best left for a different time and place. She bent down to pick up the rabbit and wiped off Rami's hands. As she did this, Rami never took her eyes off the entrance to the bedchamber.
"Kurama-touchan's kaasan was a girl, right?" Rami asked.
"Yes, she was," Yukina replied, tossing in more mushrooms. "She was like you and me. We're all females."
"Does that mean I can be a kaasan when I grow up 'cause I'm a girl?" Rami stood up to lean against Yukina's hip.
"Sure you can. I'm a kaasan to your cousins in the Ningenkai, so you can be a kaasan someday, too." Yukina said as the last of the rabbit and mushrooms went into the pot on the stove.
"Do you and Hiei-touchan have a kaasan?" Rami asked taking her thumb out of her mouth and switching hands to get a fresh flavor of the rabbit.
"Well, Hiei-touchan's and my kaasan and touchan passed on quite a while ago, before you and your brother's were born. Even before Kurama-touchan met Hiei-touchan. Our parents were youkai like your parents are. But Kurama-touchan's kaasan was special because she was a human. Do you remember the story Hiei-touchan and Kurama-touchan told you about how Kurama-touchan came to live in the Ningenkai and how they met each other?" Yukina tried to explain as best she could to the innocent young child before her asking such hard questions. She stirred the stew a little, trying of avoid eye contact with her niece as long as possible. Hearing no answer from Rami, Yukina figured this round of interrogation had concluded.
"Now, I'm going to gather some moss for a garnish for the stew. You stay put, okay? Hiei-touchan will be very angry with you and me if you get into any mischief so - don't - move!" Yukina smiled as she tapped Rami on the nose with her finger.
"Hai" Rami said, not really listening. Instead she continued staring at the entrance to the bedchamber.
Yukina left the dwelling with a small basket Kurama had fashioned from some palm leaves and wasn't out the door three seconds when Rami slowly tiptoed over to entrance to her fathers' bedchamber. She looked in to see Kurama lying on the futon, his eyes closed tight and his brow set in a sad frown. His ears were flattened against his silver mane and his tail was wrapped around his legs. She took a deep breath and slowly approached the futon.
Rami looked at her father and tilted her head, first to the left, then to the right. She saw dark circles under his eyes and noted that his skin looked lighter than usual (pale). She put her left thumb in her mouth while holding Wuzzy in the crock of her left arm. With her right hand she gently brushed a few strands of silver hair away from her father's face. She noticed how much they were alike - same color hair and fur, same large ears, same beautiful long tails, although Rami's had a ways to go before it would be as magnificent as Kurama's. And she didn't have a strong scent yet - a good safety feature when having to elude predators in the Makai when you're still so young.
Kurama sensed that he wasn't alone but didn't have the strength to do anything other than slowly open his weary eyes and stare into his darling little youko's bright golden ones.
After a moment, Rami whispered, "touchan?"
"Hai, Rami-chan" Kurama whispered back, noticing how close Rami was standing next to him.
"Hiei-touchan says you have a tummy-ache in your head," Rami whispered.
A slight smile lifted the corners of Kurama's mouth for just a second as he thought of what Rami was trying to say and the kawaii way she said it. "Hai, I do." Rami slipped her right hand into Kurama's left hand as it rested on the pillow next to his tired face.
"Did Yukina-san's tea help?" Rami asked, her voice full of concern and a wet thumb.
"Not yet, kawaii hito." Kurama replied, his voice just barely audible, continuing to stare into the golden eyes of his little kitsune.
Rami played with Kurama's fingers - something she often did when not twirling his hair as she sucked her thumb while resting on Kurama's hip - her favorite mode of transportation.
"Hiei-touchan says you gots a headache 'coz you're sad." Rami said softly. "Are you sad 'coz your Kaasan gots killed in the big earthquake in the Ningenkai?"
Kurama could only nod as he felt his cheeks get warm and as new tears began to form in the back of his eyes.
She studied his face for a moment, then said "Yukina-san says that only girls gets to be kaasans, so I was thinking - maybe I could be your kaasan for a while until your headache gets better. I'd be really good 'coz Yukina-san is showing me how to cook and stuff just like a real kaasan. I know I'm still little but I could try."
Kurama thought his heart would burst - he felt his eyes fill with tears and his chin begin to quiver at this flood of emotion. This sweet child was trying to save him from the depths of his despair with such a simple solution. She didn't care about his past, if Shiori was human or demon; just that she needed to help her father in the only way her young mind and heart knew how.
"Okay" Kurama choked as he felt a hot tear run down along the bridge of his nose and across his cheek resting on the pillow. He tried to compose himself in front of his daughter but he was quickly losing the battle.
Rami's face suddenly became anxious as she popped her thumb out of her mouth.
"Gomen nasai, touchan," she whispered. "I didn't mean to make you cry..." her voice trailed off as she leaned forward and touched the tear with her tiny fingers. "I just wanted to do something for you to make you feel better."
"It's not your fault, kawaii hito." Kurama said in a ragged whispered as he reached out and gently stroked Rami's cheek with his right hand, caressing her little face in his palm. Another tear followed the first one.
"I know!" Rami suddenly said as she stood up straight. "Would you like to hug my Wuzzy? I'll let you borrow him for a while. When I get really sad, like when Hi kicks me in his sleep or when Yoji and Ryu tie me up and torture me, I hug Wuzzy really, really hard and then I feel lots better. Do you want to hug Wuzzy?"
Kurama was overwhelmed by Rami's heartfelt offer of comfort, knowing that Wuzzy was sacred and no one touched Wuzzy without permission. He felt his heart being lifted and caressed by a tiny set of angel's hands. He looked down at Wuzzy and then back up at Rami.
"I don't want to hug Wuzzy," Kurama said, his voice choked with emotion. "I want to hug you." And with that Rami fell into her father's arms and they held each other tightly. Kurama sobbed as he rocked his daughter, his embrace stopping only to cover her forehead, her ears, her cheeks with kisses and licks. Rami's small star-shaped hands patted her father on the back saying over and over again "it'll be all right, touchan. It's okay," just like Kurama does when she falls out of a tree or gets roughed up by her exuberant brothers.
Kurama felt the pain and anguish of the last few days lift from his chest and in it's place he felt a surge of love filling his heart. This is what he desperately needed. He needed to feel that bond between parent and child that is like no other feeling in the Universe. He needed to let someone love him and take care of him. He gently rocked Rami in his arms, as his crying slowly subsided into small sniffles, with an occasional stray tear finding it's way down his cheek.
Yukina, who had witnessed this expression of love between parent and child, smiled as she dabbed tears away from her eyes. When she had returned with the moss and didn't see Rami she immediately knew where the child had snuck off. As she heard their whispered exchange, she couldn't bring herself to interrupt them - it just didn't seem her place to do so. But she couldn't leave to doorway, either.
As Kurama and Rami were relaxing into their snuggling, Hiei and the boys returned to the dwelling with a lot of noise and a lot of wood. Hiei saw Yukina's back in the bedchamber doorway and immediately frowned. The boys dropped the wood with a crash and ran over to the door. Upon seeing Rami on the futon with Kurama they rushed past Yukina and yelled "Hey! Kurama-touchan's all better!!" They then proceeded to tackle Kurama and Rami on the futon.
"No! Boys, don't!" was all Hiei could manage as he tried to rush in after them, but Yukina grabbed his arm. "Wait. Stay back here with me," Yukina said as she took Hiei's hand and led him away from the doorway. "This is what he needs so let the children visit for a while." Hiei noticed his sister's eyes were red from crying and looked at her with concern on his face.
"It's okay, Hiei-kun" Yukina smiled. "I think I should go back home now." Yukina had a sudden need to hug her children right now. "You guys don't need me hanging round anymore," she said softly as she began to gather up her things.
Hiei looked at her and put his arms around her shoulders. "Arigato, Yukina-san" he said and gently kissed her cheek. Yukina smiled up at him.
"You'll come to dinner soon. And you'll bring minna this time. The itoko's should meet each other and spend time together" Yukina said, trying her best at the powers of persuasion.
"We will. Just give us a little time." Hiei said, actually meaning this time. The corners of his mouth lifted slightly as his sister kissed him on the cheek, then she left, hurrying home to see her family.
Hiei looked into the room and saw a very full futon. Kurama was still snuggling Rami - thumb in her mouth, twirling his hair - but he was now listening to tales of how Yoji picked out just the right trees to chop, how Ryu cut more wood than anyone else, and how Hi almost started a forest fire with his misdirected ki. Hiei cleared his throat in an attempt to get their attention. When that failed, he resigned himself to join them on the futon, hoping the stuffing wouldn't come squishing out from all the extra weight. He sat near the edge of the futon and looked over at Kurama. While Rami has explaining how she cooked the dinner and the boys were making gestures with their fingers down their throats, Kurama looked up at Hiei and slowly smiled. Hiei gave Kurama one of his precious smiles in return. He gently rubbed Kurama on the hip as he looked into the face of his beloved.
"Would you guys mind leaving touchan and me alone for a little while," Hiei asked as the boys immediately began to whine in protest. Rami picked up on what Hiei was saying; she stood up and put her hand clutching Wuzzy on her hip and waved her finger at them with the other. "That's right. Now all of you have to go outside and play," she said. "I'm the Kaasan and you have to listen to me." "Yeah, right," Yoji said as he left the room. "You have to go too, you know." As the boys left the room, Rami turned to Kurama and kissed him lightly on the forehead. "See, I'm gonna be good at this." And with that she skipped out of the room. Hiei looked at Kurama with one eyebrow raised. Kurama smiled and shrugged, pretending not to know what was going on.
Hiei looked at Kurama's beautiful face as he continued to gently rub his hip. He then moved closer to Kurama until he was sitting next to his chest, Kurama's body and tail molding around Hiei's body. Hiei leaned forward and supported himself on his left arm as he gently caressed Kurama's face with his right hand. His fingers lightly followed the line of Kurama's silver eyebrows and down along the side of his face where tracks of spent tears still remained. Hiei's face was full of love and concern for his life-partner. He then leaned forward and kissed his love deeply and passionately on the lips, something he hadn't been able to do for days. He realized how much he missed Kurama. Hiei felt Kurama's lips tremble under his and his heart began to beat a little faster. He lifted his face away from Kurama's and caught a new tear with his thumb as his hand continued to caress Kurama's cheek.
Hiei looked into his lovers eyes and gathered some strength. "Now don't get mad, kitsune," Hiei said softly, "but...is there anything I can do?"
Kurama reached his hands up and held Hiei's wrist, bringing their hands down together onto his chest over his heart. Then, with a sigh and a sad smile, Kurama replied "You're already doing it."
Epilogue 1
Time, and a lot of love they say, eases all wounds. And no wound was greater for Kurama than the loss of his beloved kaasan. She had been the guiding force in his human life, and now her bright flame had been extinguished so suddenly and so tragically. He would never again be able to think or talk about her without feeling tears start to form.
After the children had left their bedchamber, Hiei helped Kurama to his feet. Kurama had not eaten or slept in almost a week and was very lightheaded but determined to join the family for dinner. He leaned on Hiei's shoulder; and while Hiei was much shorter than Kurama, he was very strong and supported his fox as they walked slowly out to the eating area. The children were already arguing over the rabbit's carcass when Hiei gave them one of his patented glares - they all shut up immediately. Rami looked up and smiled at her two touchans and got up to help Kurama sit down by her, his usual seat anyway. She helped his tear up his meat, after much protesting - Kurama insisting he was just very tired, not completely helpless. Rami was determined to play the kaasan-part to the hilt, so Kurama let her have her fun this one night. The stew was delicious indeed, and Kurama felt revived enough to go outside and sit on the limb with Hiei after the children had gone to bed. The moon had risen to its zenith when Hiei took Kurama in his arms and kissed him passionately. Kurama felt a warm flush of excitement overtake his body and he wrapped his arms around Hiei's waist and held him close. Hiei buried his face in Kurama's silver mane and gently rubbed his fox's ears, Kurama purring in response. When they retired to their bedchamber they reacquainted themselves with each other's bodies and realized how much they had missed one another, afterwards holding on to each other desperately as they drifted off to sleep. Kurama slept deeply for the first time in a week, having no dreams at all.
As the sunlight streaked in through the dwelling, it danced against the walls of the bedchamber, making shadows and shapes of the branches and leaves above. Kurama slowly opened his eyes and glanced around the room to see that Hiei had already risen and was outside showing the children how to trap squirrel-like creatures that made great snacks. Rami's sensitive fox-ears heard Kurama stir and she came running back inside with Wuzzy in tow.
"Ohayo, touchan!" Rami shouted cheerfully in Kurama's face and he backed away squinting just a bit at the sudden boisterous intrusion to the quiet of the room. He couldn't help but smile back at Rami as she snuggled into the futon with him for a morning hug.
"Did you sleep okay, touchan?" Rami asked as she bopped Wuzzy on Kurama's nose.
"Just fine, arigato, Rami-chan" Kurama replied as he picked up Wuzzy and surveyed his tattered body and somewhat filthy disposition. "Hmm, I think I'm gonna have to steal you a new Wuzzy. This one's getting pretty disgusting looking."
"No-o-o." Rami wailed as she snatched Wuzzy back and hid him from Kurama's view. "Just give him a bath and he'll be fine!" With that, Rami bounced back off the futon and ran back out the door. "Hmm," Kurama thought. "I'll have to remember that next time Rami needs a bath" he smiled to himself.
Yes, he smiled to himself as he stretched out aching muscles, it was time to try and get his life back to normal. But first, there were some things he had to do.
After a light breakfast of fruits and nuts the children had gathered, Kurama took Hiei aside and held his hands in his own. "I think I need to go to the Ningenkai, and I need all of you to come with me," he said as he leaned his forehead down against Hiei's. He closed his eyes and waited for a response. Hiei lifted his head and looked up at his husband. "Are you sure you're ready? It's only been a week."
"Hai. If I don't go now, I'll never have the courage to go. But I don't want to do this alone," Kurama looked into Hiei's ruby eyes hoping to find the answer he wanted. When Hiei smiled back at him, he knew he had gotten it.
The scene seemed to be playing itself out just like the week before. Children not ready to go, someone already dirty, Hiei grumbling - though not nearly as much as last time. Kurama was very anxious to be underway but for totally different reasons. Instead of visiting a home, he would be visiting a grave.
While the others were getting ready in another part of their dwelling, Kurama was in the bedchamber brushing off the clothing he had worn last week, when he felt something in one of the pockets. He reached in and found a small package wrapped in paper. "Oh, my Gods," he whispered to himself. "I completely forgot about this," he said as he sat down on the futon and slowly unwrapped the precious gift. His mother's crystal fox that Mrs. Yammato had found and given to him was much more beautiful when held up to the sunlight. It made delicate rainbow patterns of light against the far wall as Kurama held it up and turned it slowly.
"Rami-chan! Come in here for a minute!" Kurama called as he kept his eyes on the crystal. As she bounded into the room she saw what Kurama was doing.
"Oooh, what's that?" she asked as she joined Kurama on the futon. "It looks like magic glass."
"This is a crystal; it's a very special glass," Kurama explained as he handed the fox statue to Rami. "If you promise to be very careful I'll share it with you. Obasan kept this in her bedroom to remind her of me, so now we'll keep it here to remind us of her. But you have to promise not to touch it unless I'm with you so it won't break, ne?" Kurama placed the precious statue on a gnarl in the wood near an opening so the light could play through it.
"It's pretty," Rami said softly as her thumb made it's way into her mouth. She leaned against Kurama's side as they sat together looking at the crystal. "I promise, touchan."
"Now. Are we finally ready to go?" Kurama asked as he kissed Rami on top of her head. "Let's get the boys and start our trip. We have to make sure Koenma-san got us permission to leave the Makai, so you guys have to be really quiet when we go to his office, ne?" Kurama lifted Rami up and placed her on his hip. Her thumb immediately went into her mouth as she grabbed a fistful of hair to twirl and they left the room.
As the children waited as best as children can be expected to in an office, Hiei and Kurama were talking with Koenma and Botan about their travel plans. Koenma had managed to get permission for the family to visit the Ningenkai even though non-emergency travelling was still under a caution due to the earthquake. They would use the cover of darkness, as usual, to visit Yukina and Kuwabara. Yusuke and Keiko, were going to join them for dinner as well. Hiei was silent, staring at his life-partner, as Kurama was speaking.
"I'm sorry I was such a bastard last time. I hope Enma-sama didn't spank you too hard because of the computer." Kurama apologized as he looked at Koenma. "If there's anything I can do to make up for it, I will."
"No need, Kurama," Koenma said, sitting behind his desk, looking so small in his toddler form. "I just wish the circumstances had been different. If there's anything I..." he stopped himself, remembering the last time he said that to Kurama.
"Arigato gozaimas, Koenma," Kurama said with a gentle smile. "You did so much by allowing me to look at the computer. You didn't have to do that. I appreciate it." Kurama felt his cheeks beginning to blush. *If I can't get through this apology, how am I gonna apologize to Yukina, he thought as he glanced at Hiei.* Botan, who had been standing behind Koenma, came around his desk and gave Kurama a hug. "That's because we love you so much," she said. Hiei rolled his eyes and made a grunting nausea sound, then glanced back at Kurama with a "Can we get outta here, now?!?" look on his face. Kurama chuckled as he hugged Botan back. "Arigato, Botan," he said, and with that the family was on its way.
As they made their way through the gates of Makai and into the Human World, the children held their father's hands tightly. Travelling between worlds was exhausting for adults let alone such small youkai. It took a few minutes to adjust to the time differential between worlds. A demon's ki is exposed for a few seconds and youkai children put out very big aura's when under stress. Having safely made the transition, Kurama led his family to a world that no longer had any claim on him.
"Can we see your old house, first, touchan?" Rami whispered as she held onto Kurama's pinky, now that the danger had passed. Hiei looked at Kurama and tried to read his lover's eyes. "Can we?" asked Hi, as he tugged at Hiei's cloak. "Well, if Kurama-touchan thinks it's a good idea," Hiei answered, never taking his eyes off Kurama's face. Kurama looked at Hiei, took a breath, and said sadly "Hai. It'll be okay."
As they made their way through the darkened streets, Kurama noticed things seemed even more out of place. A lot of the destruction debris had been cleared away from the week before, but somehow he sensed something was different. As they rounded the corner, he saw why. Where Shiori's - and his - house once stood was now a vacant lot. The children became very silent, holding their father's fingers tighter.
"The tree is gone," Hiei remarked without realizing. Kurama was very quiet. He looked around the lot for any sign of the past. It was gone - completely. Kurama frowned as he looked around. Lights were back on in some of the neighboring houses but with it being so late at night, no one was on the street. He felt tears forming in the back of his eyes but he bit his lip in an effort to control his emotions. Hiei came over and rubbed his back. They silently exchanged a glance. When he looked down at the ground, Kurama noticed a small dandelion growing out from a clump of upturned dirt. Nature was reclaiming this part of the earth. Hiei noticed it, too, and he looked up at Kurama and gave him a sly smirk.
"Why not?" Hiei said softly to Kurama. Kurama smiled back, understanding the unspoken signal.
"Step back, kids, your daddy's gonna do some magic," Hiei said as he gathered his children to him. As they stood back on the remains of the sidewalk, Kurama stepped forward. A golden glow surrounded him as he raised his hands and closed his eyes. He reached into his hair, pulled out some hidden seeds, and tossed them into the air. As each seed passed through Kurama's aura it flared up like a struck match. As they hit the ground the seeds disappeared. Suddenly, everywhere you looked, the ground began to gently tremble and small sprouts came popping up to the surface. Within seconds the entire lot was filled with exotic plants, tropical plants, plants you never heard of...a riot of color, and the smells filled the air and everyone's noses with such luscious fragrances as were never smelled before.
"There. That's much better," Kurama said with a very contended smile as the glow around him slowly subsided. The boys eyes looked like they would pop out. They knew their touchan could control plants but this was so radical! "Way to go, touchan!" Yoji shouted, but Hiei immediately shushed him. They didn't want to wake anyone up and be discovered. The lot would be enough in the morning. "Will I be able to do that when I grow up?" Rami asked as she looked up at Hiei. "Hn. S'pose so," was all Hiei said, trying to hide his smile.
"Let's go to Yukina's, okay?" Kurama said as he picked Rami back up. "She's expecting us and we don't want to be late." As the family began the short walk to his sister's house, Hiei walked next to Kurama and in the dark held onto his hand as the boys ran on ahead. Kurama smiled down at Hiei as Hiei stared straight ahead, occasionally calling as softly as he could for the boys to slow down or to make turn.
When they reached the Kazuma household, the long awaited reunion erupted into joyful pandemonium. Cousins were eyeing cousins, friends were hugging friends, brother-in-laws were trying not to kill each other, and everyone got kissed whether they wanted to or not. Rami-chan was so happy to meet the owners of those beautiful dresses and the girls couldn't wait to take her upstairs and show her some more. The boys got their wish and saw Kuwabara-ojisan's boss sword, Kuwabara promising to kill something after dinner. Yusuke was filling Hiei in on the latest demon sightings while Keiko put the finishing touches on the salad she had brought. Kurama took Yukina by the hands and led her away from the happy tumult that was taking place in the living room and found a private corner.
"Yukina-san," Kurama began as he held her hands in his own and looked into her ruby eyes. So much like Hiei's, Kurama thought. "I can't begin to thank you for helping us out the way you did," Kurama said softly, with emotion in his voice. "And I can't apologize to you enough for the way I treated you when I first...found out about...kaasan..." his voice trailing off as he felt the beginnings of tears forming again.
"Kurama-kun, you have nothing to apologize for. I understand completely," Yukina said as she caressed Kurama's right check with her delicate hand. "We should just celebrate the families tonight. And tomorrow night we can visit Shiori."
"Arigato, Yukina-san," was all Kurama could choke out as he felt a tear roll down his cheek. Yukina smiled up at him with glistening eyes and brushed the tear away. They hugged each other tightly, then gathered the family together for dinner.
Epilogue 2
The next morning found the sky a steel gray, with just a light mist falling to make everything wet and Hiei very miserable. He hated getting wet, but since most of the day's activities were going to be inside, he grumbled silently to no one. The Kazuma cousins had learned about life in the Makai and the Kurama-Hiei cousins learned about life as a human-demon in the Ningenkai. Both thought the other's lives were much more interesting and fun. The Makai cousins very relieved, though., to find out there was no such thing as "school" where they came from. And that bathroom thing fascinated Rami. She couldn't flush it enough times, Hiei swearing that thing was NEVER coming into his house. After the Makai cousins were introduced to a pizza and soda dinner, the two families were ready to take another special trip. Yukina had found where Shiori was buried.
Just after dusk, Kurama silently knelt before his family's graves. They had a plot in the city cemetery that was almost completely filled with concrete. There were three headstones together: one marked for Minamino Shuuichi, even though he wasn't really there; one for his stepfather; and a new one for Shiori. Rami seemed very afraid of the starkness of the place and leaned into Kurama body as she stood in front of him as he knelt down to read her the writing on the headstones.
"See, Rami-chan, that was kaasan's name before she married my stepfather," Kurama explained as best he could why his human last name and her's were different from his stepfather's. Rami and the boys couldn't grasp the human concept of burying your body, why their father's human form had a grave but no one in it...so they kept their thoughts to themselves. It was a lot to take in for being so young.
"It's so hard here," Hi said lightly tapping the ground with his foot, noting that just about everywhere you stood was covered in concrete. "Can you make it nicer, touchan?" Ryu asked.
"I'll try, but there's not much soil left," Kurama said as the family backed away from the graves. Yoji leaned back against Hiei, as his father placed his arms around his small shoulders and watched silently as Kurama went to work on the depressing place. Kurama reached into his hair and took out some climbing vine seeds and slid them into a crack in the pavement next to Shiori's headstone. He then placed his hand over them and watched as his hand glowed golden. Within moments some philodendron vines began to wrap themselves around the headstones and gently cascade over the writing. Kurama stepped back, and smiled sadly.
"Sleep well, kaasan," he whispered, as the rest of his family moved forward to join him. "I know I'll see you someday." And with that sad visit complete, the Kurama-Hiei family headed for their own home in the Makai.
The End
Copyright 1998 Julie Farel