We help with our hearts. While we bring expertise to our encounters with those whom we work, it is in our relationships that the most good is done.
Sometimes we find ourselves drawn as if hypnotized toward the dark side of life as reflected in the lives of those whom we would help. Our attraction to our work sometimes leaves us questioning whether we are voyeurs. We get "hooked" by stories of violence, twisted sexuality, or destruction. Vicariously experiencing that which both draws and repels us, we are permitted to see the forbidden through our clients’ eyes.
We are transfixed by misfortune like deer in the headlights of life.
Whatever the origin, we identify with the suffering of those we help. Our moral compulsion to mitigate the pain of those we help gains energy from our own humanness, our own vulnerability.
We grapple with the forces of despair. In so doing, we take on risks. We know we are likely to incur damage to our spirits by stepping into the arena of human suffering. But we do so in part because we sense of great prize for ourselves and for all others. If we can succeed in dealing effectively with human trauma, we can only do so by growing at the very points at which we are most limited. Our ability to do sustained and effective work with other human beings depends upon our ability to integrate and balance the light of compassion and empathy with the darkness in our lives.
From Kendall Johnson,
Trauma in the Lives of Children