Letters From Grandma
Dear One,
And before the 'fridge so often
My poor mind is filled with doubt
Have I just put food away?
Have I come to take some out?
And there's times when it's dark out,
So, remember that I love you,
And wish that you were here,
But now it's nearly mail time,
So I'll say "goodbye" my dear.
PS: There I stood beside the mail box
With a face so very red,
Instead of mailing you my letter
I'd opened it instead.
Many thanks for your note received yesterday
Just a note at year's end to bring you up to date
By the way have you noticed how much
smaller the print they are using in the
newspaper now? And there is no sense
asking people to read aloud to me; as
everyone speaks in such a low voice, I can
hardly hear them.
The material in clothes is so skimpy now,
especially around the hips and waist. It's
almost impossible to reach my shoe laces.
The sizes of clothing don't run the way they
used to; everything is so much smaller.
Everything Is so much farther away now
than it used to be. It is twice as far to the
corner store now than it used to be. And
they have added a hill, I noticed.
I have given up running for the bus. I can
never catch the darn thing anymore; it
leaves much faster than it used to. Also, I
swear they're making stairs much steeper
than in the good old daysEven people are
changing; they are much
younger than they used to be when I was
their age. On the other hand, people my
own age are so much older than I am!
Now this part may shock you, I am never
lonely anymore for I have four men in my
life now. Because we are such close friends,
please keep this confidential.
I get up each morning with Charley Horse,
and spend all day with Arthur Ritis. I dine
with Will Power and go to bed with Ben Gay.
I ran into an old friend of ours the other
day. Remember - oh dear, I forgot her
name. She has aged so much she didn't even
recognize me.I got to thinking about the poor
dear while I was combing my hair this morning
and in so doing I glanced at my reflection in the
mirror. You know, they don't even make good
mirrors like they used to.
Do have a good day, dear.
Old age is golden — I've heard it said,
But sometimes I wonder, as I go to bed.
With my ears in a drawer, my teeth in a cup,
And my glasses on a shelf, until I get up.
And when sleep dims my eyes, I say to myself,
Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?
The reason I know
my Youth has been spent,
Is my get-up-and-go
has for-up-and-went!
But really I don't
mind, when I think with a grin,
Of all the places
my get-up has been.
I get up each morning
and dust off my wits,
Pick up the paper
and read the obits.
If my name is missing,
I'm therefore not dead,
So I eat a good breakfast
and jump back into bed.
The moral of this as
this letter unfolds,
Is that for you and
me, who are growing old.
It is better to say
"I'm fine" with a grin,
Than to let people
know the shape we are in.
PS The following is a little something I read somewhere,
or maybe someone sent to me, or did you send it to me?
If you sent it, thank you. If you didn't send it,
I wonder
who would send me such as this? Or did I read it somewhere...?
YOU KNOW YOU ARE GETTING OLD WHEN...
The gleam in your eye is from the
sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel like the night before and
you haven't been anywhere.
Your children begin to look middle aged.
You need glasses to find your glasses.
You sit in a rocking chair and you
can't get it going.
Your back goes out more than you do.
Your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
You go window shopping and you
actually buy the window.
You look for something well built
with nice legs and it's furniture.
You talk louder because everyone
else seems to be talking so quietly
