| A testimony, I believe, is the hand of God in your life. As Christians, our lives should be living testimonies. I can look back and see God’s hand working in my life even as a young child. I was not raised in church by my parents but was given the choice to ride the Sunday school bus that my uncle drove. My aunt was the Sunday school teacher and I attended church often with them. I also saw God in other family members, such as an aunt and uncle that we saw on holidays. The difference in their lives compared to ours was amazing. You could truly see the love of Jesus pouring out of my Uncle Sam and he was always the same. And then both of my grandmothers loved the Lord and taught me many things. One of my grandmothers was blind and served the Lord up to the day she died, playing gospel music with her band at nursing homes, senior citizen dinners and churches. And I was blessed many times to be able to join them during my childhood. My other grandmother loved the Lord also. I spent a lot of time with her growing up as well. She taught me how to play the piano and to pray. I loved being around my family members that were Christians and even as a child desired a life in Christ. And at age 11, at my grandmother’s church, I went forth, prayed the sinner’s prayer, got baptized and as much as I desired to live for Jesus, I walked away. See my world at home was one that seemed impossible to allow Jesus to be apart of. There was no rejoicing at home in the decision I was trying to make, for Jesus had very little or no importance in our home, neighborhood and school. I grew up in a home where my mom was the only one who did not drink alcohol. She hated it but that never made much of a difference, other than instilling in us that that among other things was wrong. My dad drank. My brothers drank against my mother’s will and so did I. There are many things in my home life as a child that I’ve chosen not to share because although they may be relevant, they would point more than I would want them to, to others and I believe that no matter what we go through in life, we are going to be accountable for our own decisions regardless of our circumstances. And regardless of our circumstances, we all have the choice to receive Jesus as the rock of our salvation and God as our Heavenly Father and to receive all that He has promised. I will say, concerning my childhood that most of the children in our neighborhood dabbled in things we had no business doing. I spent most of my childhood sneaking around my parent’s backs, smoking, drinking and much more. I participated in séances and other activities with friends and had no idea of the true dangers of demon possession we were opening ourselves up to. It was all just in fun, we thought. Although there were a few times we experienced things that brought great fear to me and eventually I stopped participating in these activities because of the fear of this being more than just fun and games. I thank God for His mercy and protection and for His great tolerance and love. I was also brought up, never to turn the other cheek but to take up for myself and not to allow anyone to run over me. I actually loved to fight and not many girls would stand up to me. I even fought boys a few times and took my share of whippings from them. I had a short temper and my brother, James, loved provoking me to anger. We fought almost every day. Then on Nov. 9th , 1980 my brothers, Edwin and James were leaving a party, intoxicated and smashed head on into a telephone pole. I was 13 at this time. The wreck left Edwin paralyzed from the neck down and completely dependant on a ventilator to breath for him. He was hospitalized in Atlanta for months. My Mother stayed by his side the whole time as he fought for his life. I had a wonderful mother who loved her children with all her heart but at this time in our lives it was Edwin who needed her most. My brother, James, who was 18 at this time, I guess was left in charge to look after us. And we busted the party scene wide open. For the next five years, I finish High School and worked and spent my off time slipping around behind my parent’s backs, partying with friends. Then after graduating, I moved out and continued this lifestyle. Then three years after Edwin’s accident, he got saved and began attending church. At age 18, I went to church with him and again feeling the Holy Spirit drawing me, went forth again, prayed a second time for God to save me from my sins, for I definitely understood my need. |
| Again, as much as I desired to give my life to Jesus, my world was filled with every thing that contradicted a life in Christ and I found that I could not give up my friends and soon fell again into a life of sin and rebellion. |
| At 21, I got married and began having children. God continued His work in my life. From 18 to 27, He caused me to have nightmares about going to hell that would cause me to wake up trembling with fear. In these dreams, He also warned me about the friends I was hanging around. I can also look back and see God’s hand of protection on my life, once even saving me from being murdered. This was before I had gotten married. I had gotten into a fight at a bar after it had closed and lost my keys. (My favorite past time was hanging out in the bars, shooting pool.) Everyone else had already left. So after the fight, I began walking to a friend’s house. This was about 2:30 in the morning. I was walking down a dark road and began hearing footsteps behind me. I started walking faster and so did the person behind me. Suddenly I heard a click and turned to see a man about 6 ft. tall with a switchblade knife following me. I began running and screaming and he continued to chase me. I turned down the road that my friend lived on. It was a dead end street and very dark. This man was close enough to grab me at this point. But God intervened. Another friend had been over at my friend’s house and they had gotten into a fight. My friend had locked him out and his car had broke down right there in front of her house and there he sat at 3:00 in the morning with his girl friend in the middle of the road in front of my friends house, broke down. When he heard me screaming and saw who I was, he came running toward me. The man turned and ran and he chased him until he ran into some woods. The neighbors call the police and said they heard screaming but would not come out. We made a report and then the police gave each of us a safe ride home. My other friend was sound asleep and I could never had got to her in time. I believe with all my heart that God’s hand of protection rested upon me that night and had it not been, I believe that I would have been the headline news in the morning paper. I was so far away from God but I can still see that He never abandoned me. |
| Finally, I came to a time in my life that I began making promises to God about giving up things in my life that I felt he was convicting me of. And because I had a great fear at this point of God, I dared not to make a promise that I did not intend on keeping. At this point, I first gave up my gambling and next my drinking. But still I did not give Him my life. Then we found out that my mother had lung cancer and when she got too sick to take care of Edwin, He came to live with me. My oldest daughter, Tiffany, was 5 and Brandy was 4 mos. Old. Edwin lived with me for 1 ½ years and had a greater impact on me than anyone ever had for I saw in him someone who was set apart from the world and completely surrendered to Jesus. His life did exemplify that of what the Christian life was suppose to be and I almost immediately began desiring even more a life in Christ. Finally, God began placing a fear in me of not knowing of if my destiny was heaven or hell. In Ecl. 3:11, the Bible says that at some point God places this question in everyone’s heart. I knew I had prayed a prayer but that I never truly gave my life to Jesus. |
| Then at 27, I was invited to go to church, and I went. Again when hearing God’s message, I wanted more than anything to give my life to Him. But I didn’t. I felt that I had no right to walk down that isle. I didn’t want to go forth and again leave Jesus instead of my sins at the Alter. The next Sunday, I went again without an invitation and again desired so strongly to give my life to Jesus. The following Tuesday, I called the pastor of that church and met with him that morning. It was Valentine’s Day, 1995. After being counseled that day, I gave my life to Jesus. I left there that day a new person, my sins forgiven, and my life committed to my Lord. It was the greatest decision I’ve ever made. I only regret waiting so long and wasting so much of my life that I could have given to my Lord. God has filled my life with great joy and peace and the promise of eternal life with my Lord and Savior and I find comfort even in the hardest of times in knowing that God is all sovereign and nothing can happen outside of His allowing it. The times before, I was acting only on emotion but Salvation is a choice and a decision that you must make not only with your heart but with the mind God has given you also. |
| Immediately after, God began changing the desires of my heart. And for the next month it was if I was caught up in such a whirl wind that I could not even keep up, almost as if I had been in a dream and when I awoke, God had turned my life completely around. He was transforming my life into one that was reflecting His presence. He removed the desires of sinful living and replaced them with a great desire to live for Him. I immediately dove into working for Him, serving Him. But it was only a few years ago, that He began showing me that what He wanted more than works was a relationship with Him. Over the last few years He has drawn me into a deep relationship with Him through prayer and reading His Word. He has placed a deep desire in me also, to reach out to those who are lost and share with them the Hope that is in Jesus. And He has blessed me with opportunities to lead some to Him. |
| My greatest testimony is that of my salvation, but God has given me many testimonies. One of which is my deliverance from smoking. See, when I went to the church that day to see the Pastor, one thing I desired more than anything else was freedom from the addiction of cigarettes. I had begun smoking at a very young age and had already been diagnosed with emphysema. I had tried many times to quit but never could. Now I wanted to truly give my life to Jesus and didn’t want this sin in my life. I prayed before going in to see the preacher that God would help me to quit. But it didn’t happen right then. I was going to be baptized and when I came up, I wanted all things to be new. My baptism was a couple of months yet. So I began praying for God’s deliverance and I saw a way that I could take the money that I had spent every week on cigarettes and pledge it to God for use in his Kingdom. This pledge was to be for a period of 3 years. I prayed and asked God if this would be acceptable as sacrificial giving since it would be for my benefit health wise and once I received confirmation that this was His will, I asked my husband for his permission to have the money for this, if I would give up smoking. See, I had no income of my own because I was at home caring for my brother and could not work. My husband’s income was the only income we had at this time. When he agreed, I made a promise to God to quit. When God spoke to me concerning this, it was the first time I had ever heard God speak to me in a way that was not convicting me of wrong but instead speaking to me in love, showing me that He was pleased with me. God’s answer came straight out of the Pastor’s mouth, when in the middle of a sermon on pledging, he stopped and said, I don’t know if anyone here smokes because I never see anyone smoking in the parking lot but if there is, if you’d give up your smoking, you could pledge $1500-$2,000 to this renovation. This is the same as I had figured. I burst into tears, knowing that God had spoke directly to me. I made this promise 1 week before the pledges was scheduled to begin. In that week, God delivered me from the addiction of smoking and I quit. It wasn’t easy, for I still had the cravings and the habit to overcome, but I saw a promise of God come true through this. The Bible says that God will not allow you to be tempted beyond that ye are able without a way of escape. He gave me that way of escape by taking away the addiction and lessening the temptation to the point that I was able to overcome. And I kept my promise by giving every week to this pledge for the 3 years appointed. Now through this God has blessed my health also, for now there are no signs of emphysema. |
| Now, He is working in my life, drawing me ever so close to Him, working in me humility and patience, and teaching me how to be the wife and mother He has called me to be and still burdening my life more than ever for those who are lost. I am nowhere near perfect and He still has much work to do but thanks be to God, His grace is sufficient. |
| There is a scripture that my grandmother gave me as a child that I never understood nor did it mean anything to me until I found it a few years ago in a prayer book she gave me. It is Ephesians 5:16 and says, “redeeming the time because the days are evil.” As a parent, God has showed me that my ultimate goal should be the discipleship of my children and that there is very little time to do this before they are grown or until the Lord chooses to take them home, so I must redeem every moment for the sake of their souls. One way I have done this is through a lot of sacrificing to give them a Christian foundation in their education. The other way has been to disciple them at home by allowing Christ to live His life through me. When you give your life to Christ and give your life to spiritually discipling your family for Him, you face many spiritual battles but I have seen tremendous blessings being reaped even this year through standing firm in my convictions and being consistent when trials and persecutions come. |
| I thank God for the encouragement of all my family and friends in Christ along the way. And still look forward with great anticipation, to the growth and work God has planned for me and to the opportunities He gives me to serve Him, especially in my work at home and in reaching others for Jesus. On Feb. 14th, 2003, it will be my 8th birthday into the family of my Lord. I thank God that He is patient, not desiring that any should perish, but that all would come to a saving faith in His Son, Jesus Christ. 12-26-02 |