WHAT DO WOMEN WANT?

Several years ago, in a moment of mystified frustration, my brother Tom asked me,

"What do women WANT?"

A seemingly simple question had rendered me speechless. I considered that this was a very old question. Indeed, I seemed to recall that Sigmund Freud had posed that very same query many years ago, and I couldn't recall that he ever came up with an answer.

Of course, he probably never asked a woman.

As I considered my own answers to the question, I realized that this was going to be a lot more complex than would appear on the surface. I began posing this "simple" question to female friends, acquaintances and evcn strangers .

Hmmm…interesting reactions…interesting looks…interesting answers…

As each response was made I wrote it down on an index card. Soon I had collected quite a pile of cards and a remarkable variety of answers. In spare moments, I would take out my "deck" of cards and shuffle through them, randomly at first, then, purposefully, dealing the cards into piles of related topics. Gradually, patterns formed before my eyes…wonderful patterns of words, thoughts, emotions, and - yes - poetry.

It is the purpose of this page to present to you my compositions of these women's words. Some of them were compiled from multiple answers, and some of them are individual efforts. I have noted immediately after each title, in parentheses, the number of contributors. Allow me to introduce you to the words of many wonderful women, spanning the ages of 2 months to 70 years, telling us in no uncertain terms, just what it is they think women want.

 

 

A RECURRING THEME

(9)

 

Air for my grandchildren…

Freedom to love without fear…

Freedom…

Freedom from repression…

Respect…

Freedom of space and self-expression…

Intimacy…

Freedom…

Freedom to be one's own self…

Whether needy or……………….distant…

Freedom…

Freedom from guilt…

Freedom…

Freedom…

 

 

HEAVEN ON EARTH

(1)

I want no more pain,

suffering,

tears,

grief,

death;

I want unending peace and joy.

In short,

I want heaven on earth,

and I want it

NOW.

Plus,

I want my own field of wildflowers

and a good horse to ride.

 

 

TO BE OR NOT TO BE

(8)

 

To be comfortable.

To be accepted as they are.

To be amused.

To be loved.

Not to be lied to.

Not to be harassed.

Not to be abused.

Not to be used.

 

 

UNTITLED VI

(3)

 

HAPPINESS!

POWER!!

EVERYTHING!!!

 

 

REVENGE

(1)

 

You know what I really want?

(I know this isn't healthy,

but this is what I really want.)

I want to hire a man

and make his life totally

and utterly

miserable.

 

 

UNTITLED VII

(1)

 

TO BE STROKED LIKE CAT

TO LOVE LIKE A WHORE

AND TO LAUGH LIKE THE BEARDED LADY AT THE CIRCUS

 

 

I WANT

(1)

 

I want to make enough money

I want my mother to stop telling me I'm fat

I want to learn how to speak truth

I want my kid to sleep through the night

I want someone else to want me

I want to own a home someday

I want time to write

To wash dishes

I want a perfect job

a perfect home

to be perfect

I want to stop wanting to be perfect

I want to one day feel like an adult

I want to be a wise old crone

 

 

A DEFINITIVE ANSWER

(1)

 

for the abominable snowman to lighten up

for eccentricity to have its rightful place

for it all, really, to be Candid Camera

for butterfly screams to be heard

for reality to be as good as the dream

for it all to come out in the wash

for the circle to be unbroken

for a stable guy who gives a damn to stick by me

to stick by a stable guy who gives a damn

to really take my clothes off

to know my boundaries and respect them

to be as smart as I was when I was five

to stop trying so hard

to never dread seeing the sun come up

to pray without ceasing

to give someone a piece of my mind

to play fair

to resist definition

 

 

IDEALISTS

(11)

 

a friend

a lover

in the same mind/body…

a BIG cigar…

a man to share my life

and to do some art

quietly

and well…

fun

happiness

security

and good sex…

a man who will treat them well

(and THAT'S hard to find!)

money

sex

and a good time…

a sensitive man

a sincere man

who loves you…

men who care

for women

the way women care

for men…

communication and passion…

total fulfillment in love and sex…

prince charming…

 

 

PRAGMATISTS

(12)

 

COMFORTABLE UNDERWEAR / GOOD FOOD / MORE BOOKCASES

AND LAMPS AND A DECENT RUG / RESPECT, CREDIBILITY, AND

LARGER SIZES IN NEW FASHIONS / A SHOEBOX FULL OF TWENTIES /

A SINGLE HETEROSEXUAL MAN UNAFRAID OF THE WORDS

COMMITMENT, MARRIAGE, AND CONDOM / APPRECIATION, HUGS,

AND AN OLDER MAN / A NO-DECEIT, NO-BULL RELATIONSHIP /

TO KNOW WHERE I'M GOING TO PUT MY KEYS AT NIGHT / TO

FIND MY KEYS IN THE MORNING / SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS

NEON-COLORED SILLY PUTTY / LOVE AND SECURITY - ECONOMIC

AS WELL AS EMOTIONAL - AND OF COURSE, MY BIG RED DOG

 

 

GIRLS

(5)

 

 

breasts (age 2 months)

cheese curls and candy (age 4 years)

to go to ballet class

to be pretty

to be in love

butterflies

flowers

roses

and they don't want to work (age 5 years)

a good husband

to have a good time

to go out and watch the sunset (age 6 years)

men

money

a mansion

a Corvette convertible

breasts (age 7 years)

 

 

TWIN DREAMERS

(2)

 

harmony......................balance

laughter.....................laughter

lots of good lovin'..........a swedish houseboy

 

 

MAMA SAYS

(1)

 

What I want

Is very personal…

I have never

Even as a child

Been able to share

My most personal thoughts

And feelings

With anyone…

Including your father…

I hope you can forgive me

I guess that's what

I really want…

Therefore

I respectfully decline

To answer your question…

 

 

ANOTHER RECURRING THEME

(8)

 

AN EQUAL START

EQUAL REPRESENTATION IN CONGRESS

EQUAL EXPOSURE AND CREDIT

WITHIN THEIR PROFESSIONS

AN END TO DISCRIMINATION

BASED ON GENDER

OR SEXUALITY

OR ANYTHING ELSE

EQUAL OPPORTUNITY

A GOOD JOB

REAL EQUALITY

THE EQUAL RIGHTS AMENDMENT

 

 

THAT WAS THEN…

THIS IS NOW

(1)

My late husband

used to ask me what I wanted. 

I told him I want

Everything!

Maybe that's what did him in?

My current husband

has never asked me what I wanted

and he is the one who has given me

Everything.  

 

 

UNTITLED X

(1)

 

I want to be just like my mother,

except for the battered wife part

and

to go to sleep next to my best friend

every night

and

incredibly comfortable shoes

that make my legs look like I'm wearing

stilettos.

 

 

UPPITY WOMEN

(8)

 

TO RULE

POWER WITHIN

TO LAY THE CARDS ON THE TABLE

HONESTY, HONESTLY!

TIME FOR THEMSELVES

ANYTHING THEY CAN GET

WHAT SHOULDN'T THEY WANT?

FOR ONCE,

NOT TO HAVE TO GIVE IN

 

 

NOT MUCH

(1)

 

peace of mind

and laughter

because usually

if I'm laughing I'm happy.  

See?

I'm not asking for much.

 

 

WISH LIST

(1)

a God that forgives

loves

& never forsakes

friends and a significant other

who emulate genuine qualities

mutual respect

honor

integrity

success

acceptance

to live, love and laugh

a place where I don't feel threatened

to be all that I can be

but most of all

I just want

to wake up every morning

and be

myself

 

 

THE LAST WORD

(8)

 

?

??

???

I HAVE NO IDEA

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT

WHATEVER THEY CAN'T REALLY HAVE

I DON'T THINK WOMEN KNOW WHAT THEY WANT

THE RIGHT TO CHANGE THEIR MINDS

WHATEVER THEY REALLY CAN'T HAVE

THERE'S NO ANSWER TO THAT

I HAVE NO IDEA

???

??

?



...and did you ever wonder...WHAT DO MEN WANT?

Text: Copyright © 1998 by Ditty Hagardorn
All Rights Reserved