On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Ben Kenobi at the dinnertable: Use the FORKS, Luke!
... The trouble with apathy these days is nobody cares.
Reading taglines makes you stupid.
A peek at the answer is worth a thousand guesses.
Are dog biscuits made from collie flour?
Capital Punishment means never having to say "you again?"
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
Here's to our wives and sweethearts; may they never meet.
Support your local medical examiner: die strangely!
He does the work of 3 Men...Moe, Larry & Curly
Choose heaven for the climate & hell for the company.
Elevators smell different to midgets.
Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
After we pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is Not our friend!
I'm not talking to myself...I'm talking to Jim Morrison
Why is the person who invests all your money called a broker?
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Men die and worms eat them - but not for love -- Shakespeare
I am reading a very interesting book about anti-gravity.
I just can't put it down.
Exercize before kinky sex - you should be fit to be tied.
Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
I misplaced my dictionary. Now I'm at a loss for words.
Be true to your teeth and they won't be false to you.
Incontinence Hotline, please hold.
I even have boring dreams...I fall asleep in my sleep!
I don't eat snails, I prefer fast food.
"Smoking helps you lose weight -- one lung at a time!"
Zen Master at Wendy's: "Make me one with everything."
I'd love to help you out. Which way did you come in? -- Groucho
No, Taco Bell is NOT the Mexican Phone Company!
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
Wedding: A funeral where you get to smell your own flowers.
Why buy cologne when you can wipe yourself with a magazine?
Just as easy as 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169
Please write your complaint legibly in that box -->[].
She's so fat that when she sings, it's over.
Why experiment on animals with so many lawyers out there?
NEW!! IMPROVED!!! E=MC^3
He's so conservative his plane doesn't have a left wing.
Hard work never killed anyone...but why take a chance?
IBM -- Inferior But Marketable.
Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run!
Death hates that.
Jesus is coming! Everyone look busy.
If at first you don't succeed - so much for skydiving.
I think animal testing is a terrible idea;
they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
Please God! Not ANOTHER learning experience!
TOAD - what happens to an illegally parked frog.
My Dog Can Lick Anyone.
Bacteria: The rear entrance to a cafeteria.
D.A.M. ...... Mothers Against Dyslexia.
Police toilets stolen! Officers have nothing to go on!
"Apple" (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.
