******

 It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.

 It reprograms your ATM access code, messes up the tracking
 on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch
any  CD's you  attempt to play.

It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your
active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable
misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of
key sentences.

 It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings
 so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.

 It will program your phone autodial to call only your
 mother-in-law's number.

 This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

 It will drink all your beer.

 It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are
 expecting company.

 Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and
 bellybutton fuzz (be honest, you have some) to migrate
 behind your ears.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with
Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend
behind  your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa
card.

It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in
a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye.

 It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea.

If the "Crazy Times" message is opened in a Windows 95
environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave
your  hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.

 It will not only remove the tags from your mattresses and
 pillows, but it will also refill your skimmed milk with
 whole milk.

 It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam.

 It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume,
 causing it to smell like dill pickles.(Remember Brut 33 ?)

 It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.

 It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

 These are just a few signs of infection.
 
 

 
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