CLARA had no choice. So she said “Because the four men who cost Fred his job are from the future just like me and your look-alike.”
“What?” exclaimed Helga, “What kind of madness are you talking about?”
“We think it’s crazy too.” said John, “goo goo g'joob. Time travel, rubbish!”
Meanwhile, Calpurnia took Clara aside and asked “Clara. What are you doing?”
“Relax.” whispered Clara, “I’ve got a plan.”
“What kind of plan?” asked Calpurnia.
“I’ll tell you when I get these four into the time machine.”
As they turned back to the rest, Paul was saying to John “John, please no more Blackburn, Lancashire. It’s really getting old now.”
“Alright.” said John. Turning back to Helga he said, “Anyway, these ladies think they could get away with this wild story about involving us with Einstein’s famous space-time continuum theory-relatively speaking.”
“Actually, I think that these ladies gave time a better offer.” said George, “Like shorter hours.”
“I don’t blame time if it did.” said Ringo, “I mean there’s twenty-four hours in a day, sixty minutes in an hour, and sixty seconds in a minute.”
“Why Ringo, you surprise me.” said John.
“In what way, John?” asked Ringo.
“Dealing in abstracts.”
“Listen John. Because I’m a drummer doesn’t mean that I have to be a moron.”
“Nobody’s calling you one Ring.”
“That’s it.” said Helga, “I’ve heard enough. All of you leave at once before I call the constable.”
“But what?” asked Paul, “He doesn’t take kindly to insults, you know.” Turning to the rest, he said “Come on. Let’s go get some coffee and leave the kennel to Lassie.”
As they were about to leave, George turned to Helga saying “Sorry if we ruined you day, lady.”
As they left the property, Clara and Calpurnia once again pulled out their sleep inducers and were ready to use them on the Beatles when someone said “Let’s go back and talk to her.”
Both women time travelers turned around to see who said it when Paul said “I’m game.”
“Yeah.” said John, “Let’s go back there and tell her off.”
“Now wait a minute.” said Clara.
“No you wait a minute.” said John, “You could tell us about time traveling until you’re blue in the face but we’re not going to buy it. Meanwhile, we’ve got some unfortunate bloke here who got the sack from the same man who took away his band. Now…”
“Listen.” said Clara, “You could make an appeal for Fred to get his job back but please don’t beg for him to have his band back. You’ll be interfering with time.”
John winced. Then he said “All right you guys. It’s interfering time in here in Vienna. All for one and one for all.”
At that, the Beatles along with Fred Pepper went up to the door only to be greeted by the baron.
“God.” said Ringo, “It’s that baron.”
“Hey Red Baron.” asked John, “Have you shot down any flying doghouses lately?”
“Red Baron?” asked Tannenhausen, “Flying doghouses? You know, you four are very funny people. Have you ever thought of going into comedy?”
“No thanks.” said John, “Playing rhythm guitar is fine for me.”
“Lister, mister.” said Paul, “We need to talk to the man of the house about getting Fred’s job back.”
“You do?” laughed Tannenhausen, “You know you can’t talk to him. He’s deaf! Now if you excuse me, I’ve got a little woman to make love too.”
Realizing that he was talking about Jacqueline, John said “Now keep your grubby hands off of her. She doesn’t want to have anything to do with you.”
The baron turned around and demanded “And what’s it to you fool?” He pushed the Beatle around until he had him by the coat saying “You know, you’re looking for a fight and now you’re gonna get it.”
Then the rest of the Beatles came to John’s side as he said “Alright. It’s four against one. Take your best shot, mon.”
At once, Tannenhausen put both fore fingers in his mouth and whistled. Out of the woodwork came three more men.
“Now were even.” said the baron. Turning to his men, he said “Sick ‘em.”
“Now what are we going to do, John?” asked Ringo.
“Only one thing.” said John, “Be four John L. Sullivans.”
Immediately, the Beatles put up their fists and started to fight. That’s when the Baron and his men drew out swords and started swinging at them.
“Hey now wait a minute.” said John, “That’s not fair.” His opponent refused to listen as he was swinging his sword at Lennon. John went onto ask “How come you guys could have swords and we can’t.”
Then, they noticed that the door was wide open making Ringo say “Hey look.”
Immediately, the Beatles went inside the house followed by the baron and his men. Locating a suit of armor, John extracted a sword from it’s sheath as the other Beatles removed knives from their display.
“Who said we should be playing with knives.” said John as the baron and his men caught up to them. At that, John said “En guard.” and started to fight back.
++++++
Meanwhile, outside the house, Calpurnia asked “Clara what are we going to do?”
“‘We’?” asked Clara, “Calpurnia, unless we’re sure whether or not Beethoven, his sister and her daughter are your descendants, you have to stay out of this.”
“Clara.” said Calpurnia, “You’re not going in there yourself to stop them.”
“I have to do something.” she said as she produced her sleep inducer.
Meanwhile, Calpurnia began to feel sick. “I’m beginning to feel hot.” she said, “And lightheaded.”
Clara knew what that was. For the only two time she had those symptoms was when she was expecting Jules and then Verne.
Handing Calpurnia the keys, she said “Here. Go back to the limousine and just relax. But don’t start the car.” She pointed to a spot saying “It’s over there.”
At once, Calpurnia went over to where Clara was pointing too and felt something. It was the limousine. Unlocking the door Calpurnia got in, closed the door. And then, she closed her eyes.
++++++
Meanwhile, the melee ensued as Beethoven entered the room. He looked up and saw the sword fight.
“Nein.” he said, “Nein, nein, nein. Stop this fight at once.”
All eight pairs of eyes turned to see him plead for the fight to stop.
“Sorry if we wrecked your place, mister.” said George.
But the baron wasn’t ready to apologize. “Stay out of this, old man.” he said allowing Beethoven to read his lips. “This is between me and my men and these four Englishmen. This doesn’t concern you.”
“In here, everything concerns me.” said Beethoven, “Now if you want my niece, you and your men will behave like civilized men.”
“Are you telling a baron what to do, composer?” demanded Tannenhausen, “I don’t think so.”
“I can go over your head to the grand duke.” said Beethoven, “Now leave all of you.”
Ringo turned to his fellow Beatles and said “Let’s sing azzude.”
But Tannenhausen said “You can’t make me leave. I’ve got a date with Jacqueline.”
“No you don’t.” said Jacqueline.
“Yes I do.” said Tannenhausen, “It’s meant to be. Someday you’ll be my wife.”
“I refuse to be a consort to such a cruel man.” said Jacqueline. Immediately, she left.
Feeling hurt, the baron turned to his men and said “Let’s go.” And into the door in which Jacqueline entered, he said “I’ve only just begun to fight for you.”
At that, he took his men and left.
++++++
Meanwhile, the Beatles were already outside when they ran into Clara.
“Thank God you’re all still alive.” she said, “Now it’s time to go.”
“Not so fast.” said John, “We’ve got some man in there that needs his job back.”
“I’ve got a better plan.” said Clara, “Why don’t we go back to the limousine, get in and leave.”
Just then, the baron and his men left the house. Spotting the Beatles, he said “If I catch you within one hundred meters of my sweetheart, I’m going to make meatballs out of all four of you.”
“That’s mincemeat, baron..” said one of Tannenhausen’s men, “‘Make mincemeat out of all four of you’.”
“Alright, mincemeat.” said Tannenhausen, “Com’on guys. Let’s go to the nearest tavern. I want to drown out my sorrows.”
At that, they left.
Ringo spoke up. “Who needs them?” he asked.
“I know I don’t.” said George.
“He might look like a Tannen.” said John, “But he reminds me of me English teacher. She knew how to threaten me if I didn’t concentrate in class. But at least she didn’t use the cane like the schoolmaster in David Copperfield. Or was it Great Expectations? But it had to be one of the Dicken’s classics.”
“You are a connoisseur of the classics aren’t you John.” said Paul.
“I thought it was just a rumor.” said George.
“Of course I got in trouble for painting naked ladies in class.” said John, “I just wanted to be like the masters.”
“Alright.” said Clara, “That’s enough. Now can you gentlemen follow me please?”
“As soon as we give that composer and his sister a piece of our minds.” said John.
“You can’t.” said Clara.
“And how are you going to stop us?” demanded John.
“With this.” said Clara as she whipped out the sleep inducer and fired it on the four of them.
But nothing happened.
Clara studied the instrument which read NEEDS RECHARGING and TILT!
Oh no! said Clara to herself, I didn’t recharge it!
“That’s a funny thingy you got there.” said George, “See you in the funny papers.”
At once, the Beatles returned to the house.
Realizing that it was hopeless, Clara returned to the car and got in. There was Calpurnia sitting there.
Clara put the inducer in the cigarette lighter saying “This thing needed recharging.” Turning to Calpurnia, she said “How are you holding out?”
“I’m either got the urge to throw up or have the craving for pickles.” said Calpurnia, “I gather things didn’t go well out there.”
“It didn’t.”
“What happened?”
“The sleep inducer wasn’t recharged after I used it on the painter earlier today.”
Calpurnia sat back in her seat and asked “Now what are we going to do?”
“We have to sit here and wait for the inducer to be fully charged.” said Clara.
“Then perhaps you could take advantage of the time to tell me why you told Helga about our time traveling?”
“It was a chance I had to take.” said Clara, “I figured that if I did, and then I sleep induce the Beatles, we could go back to 1965 moments before those four saw the limousine and drop them off. Then use the remote control on the other limousine and have it cloaked so the Beatles would never see it.”
“I see.” said Calpurnia, “If the Beatles never see this time chariot, I mean car, they don’t get in and they don’t go back in time.”
“And Fred doesn’t get fired.” said Clara, “And the Beatles we drop off will have no memory of their time trip here to 1824.”
“It sounds like a plan.” said Calpurnia, “However, I must point out the flaw in it.”
“Like what?” asked Clara.
“If they wouldn’t remember their trip here, won’t our memories be effected as well?”
Clara sat back. She never thought about that.
++++++
Meanwhile the Beatles were back at the door when Jacqueline came out with a suitcase.
“What’s with the suitcase?” asked Ringo.
“I’m leaving.” said Jacqueline, “I want to sing and I don’t want to be a baroness.”
“Where are you gonna go?” asked Paul.
“What concern is that?” asked Jacqueline as she went passed them.
Then as she approached the street, four more men came out of the bushes to apprehend her. It was the baron and his men.
“It concerns me.” he said.
Jacqueline looked around contemplating her fate