Chapter 4
Saturday, March 14, 44 B.C.
On the outskirts of Rome, Italy
8:00 a.m.
THE DeLorean appeared in the sky over the countryside of Italy. As it did, Marty looked down so see where he could land the car. In the distance was a city Marty believed to be Rome. Somewhere on the opposite side of the city, Doc was burying the DeLorean for his other self to pick up in 1956. Setting the DeLorean down on a field, Marty surveyed the area. There was enough space to kick the car up to 88 miles per hour when he got out and used the remote control. In the distance, were some trees and hills. As the door opened, Marty heard a noise. Looking around he spied a group of men, very savage-like, coming at him and the DeLorean. And it looked like they weren't here to welcome him with opened arms. "Barbarians!" cried out Marty. He closed the door and turned the ignition. Nothing! Oh no! said Marty to himself, Not now, dammit, not now! Marty kept turning the key. By then, he was surrounded. Then, Marty saw the "HOVER" button and pushed it. The car lifted off the ground. Looking down, Marty saw the barbarians aghast of what they were seeing. Before he knew it, they had fled back to the hills. Landing the car again, Marty opened the door. Changing out of his Nike shoes, he put on the sandals Doc gave him. There was a nap sack in the car, so Marty put his own shoes and socks in there. Then, he set the time circuits to March 15. The next day. And for the first time, he noticed the "AD-BC" indicator. Like the "AM-PM" indicator, the "AD-BC" indicator had LED lights on it. "Far out." said Marty. He kept the month and year the same. As for the time, Marty hit upon an idea. "8:00 a.m." he said "Why not 10:04 a.m.? That's a good time to use." Knowing that was time on the Hill Valley clocktower when the lightening struck, Marty set the time for that keeping it at "A.M." Finally setting the "Destination Location" for Rome and the map locator for outside Julius Caesar's houres according to the map, he took the map, the remote control, and the nap sack out of the car, and reloaded Mr. Fusion with manure then closed the door. Turning the key on the remote, the car came to life. Backing it up for some "road space". Marty pushed the "accelerater" button and looked at the mileage indicator. As the DeLorean sped across the field. "60." read the indicator, "65-70-75-80-85-88!" Poof! The car vanished in a brilliant flash of light leaving behind a pair of fire trails. After that, Marty turned to head into the city.
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Finding a roadway, Marty followed it to the city. The way was bumpy. Wearing the sandles was rough. There were stones, an ox and a wagon almost ran across his toes. After stubbing his toe on yet another rock, Marty changed back into his Nike shoes. "Now that's more like it." he said. Getting up he went into the city.
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As he entered the gates of the city, Marty looked around and whistled. So this Ancient Rome he said to himself. Marty only seen photos of the old ruins in books and magazines like the National Geographic. But here, they were standing fully erected with the streets paved in marble. On them were horse drawn chariots going down those streets. Gone were the modern buildings that surrounded the ruins in the 20th century. The people were speaking in Latin and were wearing robes, tunics and togas. But none of them were like Mrs. Parker's mod outfit. Boy was Doc wrong about the wardrobe here. Marty said to himself. Realizing that it was time to try out that translator, Marty reached in to the nap sack and produced it putting it in his ear. There was a switch on it and Marty flicked it. He started hearing everyone talk in English. There was a sign that was read in Latin. When the translator went on, it read "Statlerius' Chariots." Statlerius! Marty said to himself, Statler. Going down the street, Marty came up to two men. Marty recognized one of them. He looked like Mr. Strickland. The other was a much younger man. The Strickland look-alike was reading a letter apparently written by the younger man. "I know that Brutus is a slacker, Artemidorus." said the Strickland look-alike, "But, this conspiracy to kill Caesar..." "I know, Stricklandius," said Artemidorus, "But it's true." "And Emmettus," said Stricklandius, "being involved in it, I warned Caesar about him. That he was a nutcase and dangerous. Any Roman that hangs around him is asking for trouble." Marty heard enough. He continued up the street. Coming up to tavern he entered it. A group of people were in there drinking. Then, some of the men turned to look at Marty and muttered to each other. Marty approached the counter. Behind it, a man asked "Can I get you something?" "Yes." said Marty, "Give me a Tab." "A tab?" asked the bartender, "I can't give you a tab unless you order something." "Okay." said Marty, "Give me a Pepsi Free." "Listen young man," said the bartender, "I don't know what a pepsi is but if you want something, you have to pay for it." Oh shit! said Marty to himself, When are you going to learn about ordering Tabs and Pepsis in the past, McFly? "Okay." said Marty, "Give me something without sugar." "Without sugar?" asked the bartender. "Well what do you serve here?" asked Marty. "Wine." said the bartender. He produced a flask and a flagon and poured wine into the flagon. Jesus! Marty said to himself. He's not gonna even card me! Studying the flagon he asked the bartender "I'm looking for someone named 'Emmettus'." Then a voice was heard. "McFlius." it said, "I thought I told you never to come in here." Marty turned to see who said it. There, at the doorway of the tavern were a group of men. One of them looking like Biff. "Biff?" Marty asked himself. The Biff look-alike approached him saying "Well, it's gonna...Hey, you're not McFlius. But you sure look like him." "Look at his clothes." said one of the men accompanying him, "Who's slave are you?" Marty hesitated for a minute. Then he said "No one. Where I come from, we don't believe in slavery." "Where's that?" asked another man. Marty trying to fight for a answer other than Hill Valley, California but was spared when another said "Take a look at that footwear. Closed toes." "Yeah." said another man who accompanied the Biff look-alike, "Since when do the worshippers of the goddess Nike make things like that?" "That's not made by the worshippers of Nike." said the Biff look-alike, "Look at the lettering. Roman not Greek." Then, he turned to Marty asking "What is your name, knave?" Marty hesitated for a minute. Then, he said "Mar-Heston! Charlton Heston." Then men looked at each other before the Biff look-alike asked "What kind of name is that?" Then, one of the Biff look-alike's men had a man by the arm. The man bore a resemblance to Marty. "Brutus." said the man holding the Marty look-alike, "Look who I found." The Biff look-alike turned to the Marty look-alike saying "I thought I told you never come in here, McFlius." "Hey Brutus." said the man called McFlius. Brutus said Marty to himself, Holy shit! That's Marcus Brutus. And he looks like Biff! "And where's my report to Caesar?" Brutus went onto ask. "Well you see", said McFly, "since the Ides of March isn't till tomorrow..." Brutus took McFlius by the arm and started rapping him on the head saying "Hello! Hello! Anyone home? Think McFlius, Think. I've gotta pull an all-nighter to copy it." He stopped rapping McFlius on the head and had both hands on his shoulders saying "Do you know what will happen if Caesar reads my report in your handwriting? I'll be banished. Or worse, crucified. Now, you don't want that to happen. Do you?" Brutus shook McFlius saying "Do you?" "No, Brutus." said McFlius, "I wouldn't. I'll go home, write it up and give it to you tonight." "Not too late, McFlius." said Brutus, "I have to turn in early tonight." Then pointing down to McFlius' feet, he said "Oh, your sandle strap is undone." McFlius looked down and as he did, Brutus slapped him saying "Don't be so gullible, McFlius. Now I don't want you in this tavern, again. So why don't you make like a tree and get outta here." "It's 'leave', Brutus." said one of his men, "'Make like a tree and leave'." "Alright." said Brutus, "Leave." McFlius left. Turning to Marty, Brutus asked "What are you looking at, knave?" "You're Marcus Brutus." said Marty. "So?" said Brutus. "You're gonna kill Julius Caesar tomorrow." said Marty. There was a startled groan in the tavern. Brutus was startled at what Marty said. "How did you know that?" he demanded, "Who told you?" "I learned that in my history lesson." said Marty. "History lesson?" exclaimed Brutus. "Yeah." said Marty, "Social studies, seventh grade." Brutus and his men looked at each other. Then turning to Marty, he asked "Are you trying to be funny?" "No." said Marty, "I'm serious." Brutus winced and snapped at Marty saying "Nobody's supposed to know that, nobody." "Brutus," said one of his men, "he must not warn Caesar." "That'll be taken care of." said Brutus. He approached Marty saying "We got a surprise for you, Heston." Marty looked at Brutus in fear. Then, he said "You're too late. Look, it's Caesar." He pointed to a spot in the tavern. Brutus turned to look. Marty saw his chance and belted him. Then, taking a cue from the WWF (World Wrestling Federation), he used Brutus as a battering ram and bulldozed his men after which he left the tavern.
Finding himself on the street again, Marty spied a chariot. And jumped on. "Hey." cried a voice. Marty turned to the owner saying "I'll give it back to you." Looking back at the tavern, Brutus and his men came out and started running after him. Marty turned to take the reigns saying "Giddyup!" Nothing! Brutus and his men were closing in on him fast. Noticing a whip in the chariot, Marty picked it up and started using it on his pursuers. But, when he held back the whip, the horse took off. Marty held on the reigns screaming out as he did. "Whoa!" said Marty trying to stop the horse, "Whoa!" But there was no reponse. In the meantime, Brutus, Cassius, Casca and Cinna got into their respective chariots and started after him. Marty looked back and saw them gaining on him. Oh shit! said Marty to himself. What was worse, he still had trouble gaining his footing in the chariot. Finally, Brutus gained on him and started slamming him wheel to wheel. Finally, the chariot itself became unhinged from the horse and went onto someone property and into the back yard yelling all the way.
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Brutus looked where his prey was heading to. It was the house of Julius Caesar. Oh the gods said Brutus to himself, What have I done? If Caesar finds out... He didn't notice that he was heading towards an oxcart full of manure until it was too late. When he did see where he was going, he cried out "Shi-i-i-i-i-i-t!" and crashed into the cart. Cassius, Casca and Cinna stopped their chariots and got out to get Brutus out of the mess. "Brutus." said Cassius, "Are you alright." Brutus turned to read what was on the cart. It read
JONIUS MANURE HAUL
"Manure." he said, "I hate manure." Cassius and the rest just stood there looking at him.
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Marty crashed the chariot into a swimming pool. Bobbing his head to the surface, he looked around. There was a naked woman in the pool. Marty started smiling saying "Sorry I disturbed your skinny-dipping." The woman screamed. Marty got out of the pool. Forgetting about safety around swimming pools Marty turned to run only to slip and fall on the ground near a coconut tree. Getting up, he bumped his head on the trunk causing a coconut to fall and hit him on the head knocking him out.
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Calpurnia came out of the pool wrapping herself with the towel. Her servant Lorrainia heard the screams and came out. "Mistress." she said, "Are you alright." "Yes, Lorrainia." said Calpurnia, "But there's an intruder here." She pointed to an unconscience young man lying beneath the coconut tree. "Get the guards." she went onto say, "Tell them to take him into the house. Then, get my husband. He must know about this unfortunate incident." Gathering up her belongings, Calpurnia and Lorrainia went into the house as the guards came out and took the intruder inside.
End of Chapter 4