Term	Meaning	Also called	Picture
Bed Hog	The mastiff that pins you within your own bed leaving little chance to move and feeling paralyzed by morning; the mastiff(s) that occupy your bed before you get a chance to get in bed, forcing you to use the couch		Yes
Big Stink	Mastiff flatulence	Fart, Mastiff gas, Wind	Not yet...
Body Hug	When a mastiff leans his body into yours		Not yet...
Boogie-Woogie	When a mastiff is wiggling their rear with excitement to see their owner	Boggie-Woogies-all-the-day	Not yet...
Butt Puncher	The mastiff that uses his or her muzzle to "punch" you square in the butt; especially comical when it is done to guests who least expect it	Gooser	Not yet...
Bye-byes	Car rides		Yes
Circle tail	The mastiff wags their tail in a circle fashion while it is held straight out		Yes
Couch Potato	The sedentary mastiff (all mastiffs!)		Yes
Couch Protector	The mastiff who uses his or her body weight to prevent the couch from a random gravity flux event		Yes
Counter slime	The remnants of counter surfing		Not yet...
Counter surfing	When the table or counter is muzzle height and the mastiff knows there is good eats up there...or they're just nosey		Yes
Dead soldier	A war torn stuffed animal		Yes
Deep Sleeper	The mastiff that has a VERY hard time getting up in the morning or from a long nap		Not yet...
Drool bucket	Another name for any mastiff		Yes
Eye booger	The mucus that accumulates in the corner of the mastiff's eyes after a long nap	Eye goober	Not yet...
Face nibblin'	When a mastiff chews on their human's face using only their front teeth; it's a fast-paced nibbling action; can be performed on arm or hand	Bities	Not yet...
Flap face	A big mastiff face with dangling jowls	Drapery	Yes
Fluffy	A long-coated mastiff		Yes
Footwarmer	Mastiff sitting on, not AT your feet		Not yet...
Fresh	Clean water		Not yet...
Gloop	The nasty slime left in the bottom of a water bowl		Not yet...
Happy dance	The whole body stomp performed when something is exciting		Not yet...
Happy ears	When the ears are placed back a certain way while the mastiff is joyful; often accompanied by head swaying		Not yet...
Happy tail	An exceedingly fast wag of the mastiff's tail while the tail is in a normal, lowered position		Not yet...
Head hugs	The way a mastiff presses their head against you affectionately		Yes
Hip prop thingy	The way a mastiff uses the edge of the couch to rest their rump upon, often to plant themselves next to the person they will be getting lovies from	the One Cheek Sneak	Yes
Huskaphilia	When the freshly-fallen or falling snow makes your mastiff think they are a malamute; related to Malamutation		Yes
Independent contractor	Any mastiff that takes down doors, walls or windows by himself		Yes
Jelly Beans	Two or more mastiffs competing for attention		Not yet...
Kitty pomade	The stuff left behind on kitty after mastiff gives it a good snuffle; makes interesting mohawks and spikes		Not yet...
Lap Warmer	A Mastiff rather heavily sitting on your lap		Yes
Malamutation	When your mastiff thinks they are the main character in a Jack London story		Not yet...
Massive resistance	A Mastiff's practice of going totally limp when s/he doesn't want to do whatever her/his owner wants her/him to do		Not yet...
Mastiff Entertainment	The resident cat and boss of the home		Not yet...
Mastiff Hurricane	When a mastiff wreaks havoc and ruin in the house		Yes
Mastiff Marks	Dried drool on the TV screen or clothing	Similar to Wall wax	Not yet...
Mastiff Mountain	A pile of mastiff poop, when artfully deposited is known as "poop henge"	Land mine, POOP HENGE	Yes
Mastiff Olympics	When a mastiff rolls on their back, kicking their legs, having a wonderful time while doing it, making grunting noises sometimes, and it is evident this takes A LOT of effort		Yes
Mastiff Smile	When a mastiff sleeps on his back, with his head upside down, exposing all of his teeth in a goofy upside down grin.		Yes
Moistmug	When a mastiff comes to you right after they drink, sharing their muzzle moisture with you		Yes
Momma snap	The correction of a momma mastiff to a youngin'	Queen snap	Not yet...
Moose boy	The adolescent male mastiff that has no idea he weighs over 100 pounds		Yes
Mouthing	When a mastiff leads a person by the arm or hand (or other body part) with their mouth	Owning	Yes
Muzzle dipper	The mastiff that dips their entire or partial muzzle into the water bowl to drink		Not yet...
Neck Ruffle	The mastiff's neck skin bulges through the collar and drapes over it		Not yet....
Nibblin'	When a mastiff chews on pillows or blankets using only their front teeth	Bities	Not yet...
Nun hat	When our mastiff gets very excited or interested in something, and he holds his ears so high that he looks like Sally Field in "The Flying Nun"; example: "Ollie has his nun hat on."		Yes
Oldster	The mastiff with WHITE MASK rather than black mask		Yes
Poop connoisseur	The mastiff with coprophagia, either to supplement their diet or because they think it tastes good		Not yet...
Pouty lip	When a mastiff with an underbite has their lower lip exposed in a pathetic, pouty fashion	Poopy Lip, Lipping	Yes
Puddle of rug	What a mastiff turns into when it sleeps, particularly true for the Neapolitan mastiff		Yes
Puffing the Flews	When a mastiff blows air out of is closed mouth, and it "puffs" out his flew area		Yes
Ride Junky	The mastiff needing two bye-byes a day to stay happy		No, but see Bye-byes
Road Block	Mastiffs that decide to body block you in every direction after you've taken great pains to escape their pindown on the couch. Somehow hallways are no match for these manipulative monkeys.		Not yet...
Serious Furniture Overload	When they all pile on to a favorite couch and for some reason do not all fit		Yes
Side swipe	The wet spot on your leg after your mastiff walks by		Not yet...
Slinger	A long extension of saliva hanging from the mastiff's mouth	Goobers, Jowl juice, Mouth-boogers, Shoelace, Slimer, Slobber	Yes
Snapper	A nice deep relaxing nap with mastiff and human		Yes
Songster	The mastiff that is not shy about singing	Howler, Carooner	Yes
Speed bump	The nuchal crest on the mastiff's cranium; some have a more exaggerated crest	Knowledge bump	Yes
Sticky yucky	A partially chewed rawhide		Not yet...
Stomp stomp	When a mastiff makes his or her presence known with stomping, swaying, dancing, and vocalizations; only some mastiffs do this, usually the dominant ones; can be done to announce to owner that it is supper time		Not yet...
Teddy Bear	Enormous dog that thinks it can blend in with the other stuffed animals to accompany the human child to bed. Think ala E.T.		Yes
The Claw	The big paw on your leg that squeezes and pulls you closer for attention, althewhile digging their nails into you		Yes
The Lean	The mastiff presses against you with so much force they could knock you to the floor with their body weight	Body lean	Not yet...
Token small dog	A small dog that resides in the mastiff's home; usually lords over the mastiff		Yes
Tongue Baby	A mastiff who is known to have a bit of their tongue sticking out while sleeping or while relaxed; the mastiff has no idea it is sticking out		Yes
Tree trunk	The mastiff's tail; of particular notice when it is hitting you while being wagged	Whip; Cat toy	Not yet...
Union contractor	This one gets help from his buds (see independent contractor)		Not yet...
Wall wax	The slingers that end up on the wall and ceiling	Wall goobers, Wall art	Yes
Wrinkle Face	The mastiff showing off their wonderful wrinkles		Not yet...
Zoomies	Insane running, often in circles and up onto furniture if it's in the way. If done outside, the circles are done so quickly that the Zoomer looks like he or she might fall inward at any moment. The Zoomer often kicks up chunks of dirt and/or grass and has a very goofy grin on his/her face with tongue lolling to one side. This insane burst of energy is often followed by the total collapse of said Zoomer at the exact spot where he/she stopped. Depending on the age and energy level of the Zoomer, Zoomies can last anywhere from 30 seconds to 5 minutes or more.		YES link here