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WORKLIFE PAGES
...being some chronicals related to what I do for money in this world...

...   1   ...   2   ...   3   ...   4   ...   5   ...   6   ... ok, so this is the fifth page along this path (though if broken into separate entries as it probably should have been, there'd more than 40)... still continued from the fourth worklife page, which is continued from the third worklife page, which is continued from the second worklife page, which is continued from the first worklife page, which is an extention of my Keep In Touch page, all part of my attempt to keep in touch with you... you could just click on the numbers above to jump from page to page to... figured that out without me, huh?...

well, just think... you didn't have to J

but you can still go back to start (at least the start of worklife) if you want to read the original introduction and the previous week's installments of the rambles about work... and life... and whatever comes to mind... in chronological order even... bring popcorn... and nodoze?... and definitely lots of time LOL...

in case this is your first visit to these worklife pages, it's turned into a weekly letter to friends and anybody who cares to keep in touch or know (for whatever reasons) more about me... it also sorta keeps track of how many hours I work each week (though some work hours slip through the count each week for various reasons) so I can look back someday and wonder how this body survived...

anyway, I am mentally preparing to pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again somewhere else... after about a week's worth of sleep... yup, I'm getting out... stepping out, even... gonna be on the road again... me and my song refs, strolling down the avenue... I wonder where I'm going (taking my time but I'm gonna get there... ever miss the schoolyard?... getting the song refs?)...

I'll probably wander around a month or few... dunno where... any suggestions?... come on, this is your opportunity to tell me where to go... anyway, that's the main reason I work so much these days... and nights... so I can add to the get-the-heck-outta-here fund as much as possible as quickly as possible... gotta work so hard so much pant pant (wiping brow)... I'm the only contributer, after all... (mournful whimper)... very lonely, being the only one, ya know?... sigh (scuse my giggles, but the child in me is so unsneaky sometimes LAM)...

s'ok, seriously (yes, I am trying to teach my stubbornly independent childinside how to accept assistance), if you have the means and wish to share, I'd love to receive for a change (being an unconditional giver can be a lonely life)... and just as serious, if anybody has any meaningful suggestions about where might be a healthy, happy place to live... like maybe with open minds, brave hearts, and enlightened consciousness?... peace, wisdom, freedom, intelligence, passion, beauty, life?... or maybe you know something about the job market in your area... dreamers?... I'd really appreciate any info you send... and if you are shy or unsure, anonymous info is welcome too... it'll really help...

still deeper seriousness now... again and still, to you guys who keep reading and writing to me during this irreverently isolationist (and selfish, don't forget selfish) and ok, selfish phase I'm going through - once again I want to thank you for caring as you do... without you, I'd probably be living only in the blues...

I updated my main "Keep In Touch" Pages again... the life I lead continues as it is... the journal is getting even more of my own weird brand of attention... and now that I'm closer to relocating, your thoughts and responses mean even more than before... stop by and make sure you're in my address book mailing list so I can re-connect when I finally settle down somewhere again... when I finally do get back to email, you'll hear from me... hope you want to :)

so thanks for reading yet another partially regurgitated babbling intro and now, on to worklife... just click on the "week ending" links just below to read the what I had to share that week - or (I keep hoping, huh?) if you simply must read everything because you want to know everything because you are blessed and cursed with insatiable curiosity like me, just keep scrolling down the page (and write me, dang it! LAM) J ... ok, finally, here are the weekly updates...

week ending October 3rd... 75+ hours
week ending October 10th... 66+ hours
week ending October 17th... 69+ hours
week ending October 24th... 103+ hours
week ending October 31st... 88+ hours
week ending November 1st... + hours


week ending October 3rd... 75+ hours

just when ya think everything changes, everything changes again... and once again a wall is put up in front of the rampant overtime that's had me re-considering the October relocation... that's actually for the best... getting stuck here when the snows come would not be a good idea... and working myself to death is certainly not a good idea either... and isolating myself socially cuz I'm working so much is yet another not good idea... so... it's actually a good thing if the golden goose stops laying eggs... can they actually stop giving me all the work?... we shall see...

I remember hearing about this wall a few times before... in fact, this is the way the last worklife page started... it seems cyclical... as the numbers show, work dropped down to 50 hours per week for a couple of weeks and then exploded again... basically that's cuz it's so much easier to just let me self-manage and do the work than for someone to organize and delegate and actually manage the workload... but when the numbers reach the main office in another city nearby, accountants raise red flags and tell the managers something must be done about my overtime, so they try to manage the workload for a few weeks until the red flag goes down... I mean I'd certainly not payout up to 250% more per hour than an account is budgeted for, but then I am not management with this company (I'm just the mercenary ;)

anyway, so much for the management... if they asked for help I'd probably stop being selfish and help them balance their books and manage their accounts, but I'm just labor and not supposed to know what's going on... but the people aren't secure enough to accept help (yeah, I offered when I started with the company and except for one person, nobody reacted positively... in fact, for some it was quite the opposite)... alas, the class caste can be amusing, even as it is sad cuz it's doomed to failure...

it won't be long now (yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah) before this worklife section will close (at least temporarily) and most likely a broader life-oriented keeping in touch section will replace it... kinda like the journal and yet, a it'll be a more concerted effort at actually communicating a bit of reality with anyone who cares to keep in touch with me... the journal is more ethereal non-directional writing... it'll be more like reporting on what's going on in this life... another layer of sharing... excited? LAM... I am... I look forward to corresponding and it'll be another step back towards bringing true personal correspondence to life again...

but first comes another road trip... I'm not exactly sure when... probably early November (hoping the weather holds up until then... there's still bunches of stuff I need to do and I've been working too much to get it done... where did I put that list anyway?... one of the journal entries I think)... there's still the car to service and boxes to move and more... anyway, the changes are getting closer... the weather says so...

five more weeks?... we shall see... will you? J


week ending October 10th... 66+ hours

wow, two days sorta off this week... well, not completely, but almost the whole weekend off (I slept most of Saturday)... gotta head out to pick up a set of keys sometime before Monday... maybe I'll finally move some of the stuff into storage... still put in 15 hours a day until a lighter Friday... but finally, I slept some... I can see I'll need at least a few days to turn the corner and get the rest this body requires... that'll have to wait a few more weeks...

I think work is finally lightening up for good because I want it to... they'll probably continue finding more and more, but it's in their best interests to give me assistants so I can train new people and delegate more... otherwise they'll have to do it all themselves rather suddenly when I don't show up anymore... they don't particularly want to think about that cuz they'll have to do a lot more themselves (talking about management here) unless they find someone else who can manage the work without them... no candidates are around for now...

both of my managers had birthdays this week, which made the week both more tense and more silly... and the pending changes are closer than ever so for me personally this mind and body's excitement level is rising dramatically... there's stiff tension and anxiety about the stuff still not yet done, some of what I'll be leaving behind, and the unknown factors ahead... simultaneously, there's glee about moving on to a much more satisfying and comfortable life (we hope)... the part of me that loves exploring the unknown and creating whatever might come of it is the part that needs to wake up most and take charge... so with reluctant excitement, it is time to start addressing the details of the how to do it...

what to do, what to do... next, that is... hmmmm, that sounds more like the start of a journal entry pondering the nature of life and my next steps along the journey... perhaps it should be one (a journal entry, that is)... ultimately, rest must be first on the list... this body is well beyond sensible fatigue and deep into desensitized rote movement, with several parts rather numb (like when a hand or foot falls asleep)... a few hand a foot callouses are gonna hurt like heck when I finally wake up and re-ignite the nerve endings again... I think I don't want to imagine creating a more challenging situation for myself...

rebirthing myself will be some serious work I will love to hate until it's done... but as Harry Chapin sorta said, it will be great to feel good tired again...

  wonderful...

  wonder if I'll survive this time...


week ending October 17th... 69+ hours

and I thought it would be a light week right up until Sunday and then I head out to take care of some work Sunday and the pager goes off... again and again and again and... so 17 extra hours were added on to the week (not including what I already had scheduled for today)... on paper it'll be spread over three days so the red flag questions don't come up (how does he do accounts budgeted for 30 hours work in a single day?... of course I don't, I do creative paperwork)...

it's still light compared to most weeks, but since I didn't sleep last night cuz I was babbling and editing and getting stuff up on the web (a week's worth of journals and the new heartbeats which is kinda an experimental heart-diary of sorts which is my conscious attempt to wake up the feelings I've let sleep a long time and how that relates to work is simple... I've used work {working so much} to leave myself no time for anything else, including feelings or dreams... part of the pending changes is to wake the rest of me up again and see what's going on inside... I used to be much more alive... and I loved experiencing feelings as intensely as possible and channeling them into creativity... I used to play with cameras and music and words all the time... any method I could find or create (and afford) that would record some of the energy bouncing through me... the written gardens was the most frequent way I released and shared myself... when did I ever become so afraid to be openly vulnerable?... how long have I been sleeping?... how long have I been drifting on through the night?... know what I mean?... actually, there are several areas or the written gardens in my mind {in my mind cuz the actual recorded gardens are still out of reach, alas} in the first steps of the transition from mind/paper to the web {could I actually be escaping from the closet?... there's always hope... and giggles} but this is not it... this is meerly a parenthetic tangent that is my subconscious way of sharing the news {casually, of course... wouldn't want my excitement to influence anyone, after all... could be seen as a big head... hey, is that an ego control checkpoint just up ahead there?} and subtly {what me, subtle?} continuing to seek whatever it is I am seeking {as if I forgot... get real, huh?} to find and do and share in this life... so now that my subconscious had it's fun {and accomplished it's secret mission... thank you Mr. Phelps [nudge, wink, nod] and thank the doctors too... are there any more of the little green ones?}, I'll close {the parentheses} it now and allow the sentence it so rudely interrupted continue), I am way fried...

ummmm... see? LAM... I think I slept Friday night... about (calculating noises) 43 hours ago... mumble blabble... and that's the worklife for this week (the thud you don't hear is just this body collapsing... I guess you'll just have to go searching to find out what new and exciting explosions are happening {or about to happen any moment now} in the gardens... don't hate me, giggle with me )

J


week ending October 24th... 103+ hours

a bit more bleary than usual this week... been on the phone (it felt so good to get phone calls, no less talk to a human voice other than business stuff) and writing a lot (and maybe feling a few old sparks ingniting) and that means less sleep... but the phone calls an writing are exactly what I need, so I'm happy that's happening... getting closer to good tired, but still too burnt to enjoy it... the great thing about feeling good tired is enjoying the rest that finally comes... and then the rejuvination that follows the rest... rest?... I think I remember...

ahhh, I can still dream...

and I just tallied up the numbers (hours) and realize it's not just writing more that keeping me blearier than usual... phew, didn't realize I was out so much this week... or up so much, for that matter... no wonder I've not HTML edited (the editor just pondered how these pages look on a bigger screen... this laptop has me forgetting what a 14 or 15 or 17 inch or bigger screen looks like... the paragraphs fit well on this small screen, but probably look a lot different on a biger one... an for that matter, I wonder what Netscape and other browsers do when reading the pages... a new computer will answer these questions... next year, I hope... I have a 15" in storage with the old computer... anyway, it's just an aside... ummmm... so like, where did I put that sentence this babbling parenthetic tangent interrupted anyway?) or posted most of what I wrote in this recent mini creative explosion... it'll appear when there's time (for the few of you actually excited each week to check how the gardens grow...

  thanks J

you are appreciated more than you'll ever know, more than anyone or anything could ever show you - no less me... but I'll spend an eternity or few doing my best to find the time and means to try... knowing me, who knows what I might come up with... certainly a few surprises on the side, at least... lam)...

actually did some stuff other than work too... wow, looking back on this week I wonder how I got it all done... moved stuff into storage... phew, that was a long physically challenging 25 hour day considering I added my personal work on top of the work for pay work... and I installed the new phone/answering machine (go figure, I thought I was too sleepy last week to give it enough focus to figure out the contraption)... it works, but there's still a bunch of features I'll have to read up on before I use it... I cleaned this room up a bit... a couple of big bags of garbage went out... but this is not work news, this is something else... journal?... maybe that more person KIT section is finally needed, huh?...

so work was work and lots of it... they're trying all kinds of things to coax me into staying longer... very flattering and ego appreciates the efforts... even the weather is cooperating as there's been no snow, only a few nights in the 30's (I'm still walking around in a T-shirt and sometimes an open kinda jean/flannel shirt-thing over it), but no snow and 60s predicted for the weekend... that's single digits and upper teens for my Celcius friends... Celsius is aka Centigrade for my Fahreinhiet... ummm, Farheinheit? (how does that name get spelled?... it does appear that I'm fair-in-to-forgetting) friends...

for strangers too, of course... please feel free to introduce yourself J

and as you might be able to tell... in spite of no sleep (or maybe aided by it)... and yes, as I do, I'm rambling on more than ever (of course with the obligatory proportional increase in typoes, I suppose... s'ok, I'll probably {maybe} come back and edit/correct in time when I'm bored and have time... someday)... it happens... it happens too... we shall see how this energy transcends into my creativity when the rhymes and reasons and other stuff finally gets uploaded, huh?... are you getting as excited as I am?... could you be as into words and sharing words as much as me?... or perhaps it's again time to quote Harry (happily, with the secure self-mocking smile and style more intact than ever)...

"and the excitement continues to build..." ~ Harry Chapin J

  see ya next week...

J


week ending October 31st... 88+ hours

oh man this week was a mountain... and whatever bug bit me (it's still bouncing around inside... I think I shared more about it in the journal) sure made the climb even more challenging... and the server that carries these pages, my written gardens (the only home I've got outside myself ethereally, where it matters most) did some crashing and shut me out for more than a week... in fact, I'm still shut out as I update this and can only hope it's fixed tomorrow night like they projected... and the closest nerves - from highest dreams to deepest wounds - were stired some more too... the words have been flowing though, in spite of the challenges on every level... raw data flowing from my brain or wherever the source of me may be found... chills, thrills, and spills...

what about work?... oh sure, that's what you came here for... to read the latest update in the exciting life of a special projects guy with no title but lots of vital responsibilities, and who, in secret disguise as Get Bent, mad-mannered reporter for this self-indulgent metropolitan web-paper, pursues a never ending quest for the utopian family and idyllic the one... Superman meets Don Quixote meets Don Corleone meets Maxwell Smart meets Maxwell's Silver Hammer?... where's Robin Williams when I need him?... in the Octopus' Garden, in the shade, of course...

  excuse me whilst I giggle myself silly...

ok, I'll be alright now... well, there's always hope... this body, however, well... let's just say I'd like to join Robin under the sea... or Ariel, for that matter...

  the quest for rest continues...

and what about work?... well funny you should ask... a funny thing happened to me on the way to work the other day...

   more?...

J

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