The "PS" Pages
on a wish and a prayer
Hi... welcome to the PS... I guess here's where you start wondering if you've already read this page... well, what can I say, deja vu is a weird experience... subtle similarities play with memories while subtle differences and time suggest a new experience... maybe you have been here before... I guess this is where you start wondering if you've already read this page... well, what can I say, deja vu is a weird experience... subtle similarities sometimes confuse memories and besides, some of this PS is from previous KIT pages so maybe you did (read some of this before)... KIT pages are "Keep In Touch" pages in case this is the first page in my gardens you've stumbled upon somehow (giggle... in that case, good luck)...
Hey... welcome to the PS... again?... again?... do ya love me?... (uh-oh, it's Anonanonanon... mix Wacko with a lick of Groucho, Bugs, and some new glint of as yet undiscovered and unnamed mischief)... I wish I could hug you and show you how much I appreciate you coming here... you come here?... can I watch?... do you come here often?... what's a nice person like you coming in a place like this?... wanna know my sign?... are you naked too?... you show me yours and I'll show you mine?... wanna play with each other?... coming attractions?... corny?... bold?... brash?... shocking?... offensive to prudes and others who let fear override their senses?... of course... and it'll probably get sillier and fresher and gigglier and hungrier and more naked as time passes...
who knows what the PS will turn into now that it has it's own pages (not much so far, but then, I barely have time to breath, no less update anything these days... the babbler is bursting at the proverbial - or preverbial seams, it seems... it's unseemly... heck, I hardly have time to masturbate - oh, well, no, there's always time to masturbate... no time to find a partner though... perfectionists are very challenging to please... hard, even... even when they're hard... it's easy to be hard, hard to be satisfied?... ok, ok, there's so many double entendres in this already it would take a year to explain to a child...
there has been so little time for anything though... for quite a while I didn't responded to email at all, for weeks on end even... and before that I might have sent a few a week out... I am actually starting to approach emailing again, but still there's no time except sleep time... zzzzzzzzzzzzz.... and while the babbler aches for babble-time, the body aches for sleep... zzzzzzzzzzz... still, I want to write and share so... zzzzzzzz.... here we are, wherever here might be... zzzz... writing in my sleep... with a whole lotta aching going on)...
z... anyway, I've been sleeping less and less (maybe you've noticed)... and missing sharing more and more (all sorts of sharing, but I suppose that may be obvious too)... oh, I'm so very torn... alas, will anybody every get all of my references?... dang it, I'm still not out of faith though... as I was saying, as with any of my babble (unless I somehow clearly decide to obviously state that the page or babbling is "complete" for some odd reason, there is no end to my madness... it's like, pure LAM), a new line or few might be slipped in just about anywhere (like here) to add flavour or to express me better or just to challenge the anal rententives among us who retain all that's come before and fear changes (no offense intended, but I still have a rebellious streak that is irritated by control freaks who want things their way only so I tend to wanna shock their pants off with truth if I can find a positive way to do it... heck, I am an impossible dreamer, remember?... so maybe their senses are turned off for good, dead, frigid, lost forever... but I'll keep trying to wake them up) the universe is in a state of constant change so you might as well get used to it...
see, I really am trying to help get the pole out... you know, the pole some people have sat on for so long that it's shoved way up their figure of speech... every body has the right to relax, after all (no matter what ws taught on the potty as a child)... or maybe I push the envelope just to leave everybody guessing and drive the perfectionists crazy (it takes one to know one, huh?... you know any?)
well, I'm really PSing now, huh?... I mean, what is a PS anyway?... an afterthought? (inside joke, I suppose... as are so many of the references and asides and tangents in my babbles... sigh, will anybody every get them all?)... and what comes after thought?... oh never mind, on second thought I'll introduce the other characters in this play another time... hmmm... PS... Silly Play?... of course it's backwards, it's silly and play... at least it's not Silly Putty... it's Play, Silly... hear me giggling?... you at all amused?... let me know?... well it could be Passionate Sex, after all... Perverse, even... Presidential, perhaps... or maybe Pure Science?... Pixie Smiles? (well you know I have this thing for waifs and little people)... Pretzle Stand?... Pokemon Symposium?... Positive Symbiosis?... there's a lot more to a PS than meets the eye... then again... that was fun...
see, it's like this (I mean, don't we all know it all? LAM)... ok, seriously... whatever I know, I know I choose to refuse to allow the depressing, harsh, cruel, obscene, nightmarish, tortures of reality keep me down... nope, that's what a PS is for... like Psuedo Sanity... this is how I see it, my choice... when it gets too heavy, reality can take a holiday for a breather... it's my mind, who else should control it?... so like Bob, I'm taking a vacation from my problems...
take this next couple of paragraphs most seriously, ok?...
I love you and thank you for reading, for caring, and for being out there and most of all, for letting me know you've been here (and you know who you are... and everybody else, well, since you're not reading you don't see me sticking my tongue out, do you?... not smiling?... well then the next words is especially for you... if you are reading and choosing not to let me know, whatever the reason, *HUG* if you need it... it means a lot to me to be read)...
I hope you find the story of my life worth reading and maybe worth returning to check up on now and then... I appreciate knowing, since that's the whole point of putting my words out here... sharing (and that takes two, at least... response is your part)... one of these days it'll actually be written as in an organized story and then your visits here might actually start making a little more sense, huh? (editors apply within)... if nothing else, maybe my survival might inspire you to try something new and appreciate what you've got a little more... I wish you'd respond, but even if you don't... just don't give up... no matter what... just don't give up...
it's not allowed in cartoons...
seriously, it's not allowed in my life either... if life's getting too heavy or too challenging or too painful or too anything and you're thinking of giving up, write me before you do... maybe we can figure out how to keep it going another day... I've got to, being part toon... and mostly crazy... though I intend no harm and do my best to actualize my intentions... and I am serious...
the simple truth is that the love I offer you in words here is unconditional and for real... as real as you dare believe and make it by sharing... sharing is what makes things real... serious... the survival is serious... the challenges are serious and they are not gonna win... gotta believe that...
so go on, you're not melting, the world isn't as cruel as the wicked witch said it was, I'll be right here waiting for your good news... I'll even tell the world right here if you want me to... I'll make a good news page just for us (or it can be our little secret... just let me know there's a smile and some worth for you somewhere in here or out there, ok?)... anybody really listening?... I am...
but as the never ending closing continues, leave us not let seriousness drown our sense of humour, even if it's sometimes just a cynical sense of the absurd... it's the method to the madness... the lemonade, even... though it's being edited to keep it from growing into a monster that the server won't allow uploaded... hey, maybe I'll start a PS page section for further babblings... oh, I did... and here we are... well, here I am... where are you?...
wherever you are, I love you
whatever you've done, I still care
whomever you are, I love you
it's just the reason I am here
to give my heart a chance to share
and no matter what happens to me, some things remain the same... like the laughter and peace deep inside... and my desire to care and share it... cuz it (caring and expressing it) still feels better than anything else I've tried...
(yeah I know I haven't changed anything in this part of this... but how can I?... it just says what I want to say better than I can think of another way to say it at the moment and I don't want it unsaid today and I don't want to jus put a link here a nd hope you go there to read it I want you to read this and be inspired and know I care and hopefully feel cared about and inspired yourself... soread it again until it gets better, k?... and now back to the inspirational message in progress... hey, like TV signing off? - s'cuse my giggles, I'll go now)...
I don't know if I have a bi-polar personality,
but I certainly have a bi-polar life
(LOL LAM... LAA? :)
anybody out there?...
let me know?...
did a toe move?... the facts are the facts... as long as the garden grows, there is hope for life... for me, the garden is made of words (though I love flowers too... I used to have a garden... that used to be my playground too... where have all the flowers gone?... guess this paragraph was simply gonna have song cues even if it was deleted and re-written, huh?... ya had to be there... check the previous PS and maybe you'll see what I mean)... I will survive... heck, I am surviving... and remember this in all things, a toothless smile is still a smile...
every month I get a dozen or so (sometimes more) inquiries about the ASL Website... well, the ASL Website is not gone... and you can still reach me about the site at the Website mailing list administrator's address (and it is still): asl-owner@egroups.com... owner, of course, being the key word (you'll have to ask, it's an old bittersweet joke)... I still want you to know - those who actually cared (thank you all) to actually work on the ASL pages are great people... I believe in you... please believe in your self and don't let the negativity of others get you down... I walked away from the negativity and re-channeled my energy into more positive activities - so can you... that goes for all of you...
and here goes... if you wanna send something for the pages I'll do my best to upload it (there, a first step towards re-opening the pages... who's gonna be the first to take me up on it?)... check the ASL mission statement page to see what the site is supposed to be about and pitch in wherever you feel like it...
I wish I had time for mailing lists... I created a bunch of them and some have caught on well... check out the info and maybe you'll help get one of the sleeping lists started... or maybe you'll join one of the active ones... it's a great way to find new friends and info and inspiration... especially if you like to write and communicate through words... or maybe you just like to read...
like I was saying (somewhere, I was saying this.. and this paragraph stays cuz it says a lot about me) writing has always been my primary release and solitary comfort... when I am not corresponding much, my friends know to ask for whatever I'm writing in my gardens so they can at read whatever I am finding time and energy to let out... and now anybody who really cares can check the gardens web pages and that has me real excited... feedback helps more than I can say, so if ya wanna help (for free) and have a little time and like playing editor and really care about words and maybe want to care about me or share ideals I've expressed (or just like being an audience :) ... applaud or booo or carefully critique as you wish... through email or
honesty wanted most of all... editors too... by the way, the editorial committee is still empty at the moment as the editor in chief ran amuck and running amuck and me was just too much for her (amuck can be such a monster sometimes... and I'm not rhutabagas)... and even though I am profoundly depressed over the loss, I'm still an incorrigible optimist most of the time... I still miss her more than words can say... call again little one... and everybody please remember...
you get what you get when you go for it
and what you get is what you put into it
positivity inspires and creates positivity
negavitity inspires and creates negativity
it is your choice
(or something like that)
you are loved and you are missed
and for a moment, you are kissed
you may have smiled, you may have shrugged
but for a moment, you are hugged
(you know it's true... everything I do)
I send you good wishes, happy thoughts, and fun energy to share in your life while I'm gone and hope you remember this...
I think of you and I am caring
even when we are not sharing
once we give part of our heart
we're never really far apart
(that is the truth and I'll keep reminding us)
and knowing you care about me makes every step I take easier
I hope that knowing I care about you makes your journey better too
some things just need to be part of the closing of my monthly letter every time... so once again, I know I've been saying/writing this for a long time now... nobody looks forward to having more time for me than me... and I will do my best to write more personally to anyone who cares and shares honestly with me just as soon as I have more time (especially if you write to me so I know you are there and care and want a response)... nurturing is welcome too, but I'm the worst possible baby you might imagine... I don't bite much, but boy can I whine... and attention, I need constant attention... undivided, and yet all encompassing... unconditional... what?... lower my standards?... never...
though work still leaves little awake time for anything (yes, I still need to do laundry... hey... I did three loads of laundry tonight... isn't that wonderful?... I have clean socks and I didn't have to buy them LAM... I do love teasing me... I still have a lot of dirty laundry though), I am here checking in again cuz I care about you and I believe you are reading cuz you care about me... thank you oodles for responding... and while I am away, I'm still sending smiles everyday (from me to you, even... oh some song cues are just too obvious, huh? ;)
and please keep taking care of the smiles, for they truly are full of vitamins and minerals and sunshine and rainbows and lollipops and all sorts of good stuff... and every hug is full of honest love, lots and lots of living honest love :)
Anonanonanon might do much of the babbling here, but the fact is Anon is a little kid toon who plays and giggles and teases and is silly most of the time... if you have questions or want a more serious response, you're much better off sending email through Anon's sister, Sysquash, who checks mail almost daily, at Sysquash, please give this to Anon, thank you =) (Anon laughs at the formality... she gives Anon a stern look that gets a giggling response as Anon goes out to play... Sys is not as big a beast as you may have heard and she'll slip it under the pillow for a big wake up surprise =)
if you haven't read any of the other pages and have no idea who I'm talking about, see my doctor... paging Dr. Bombay?... Dr. Spock?... Dr. Kildare?... Dr. Frankenstien?... Dr. Jeckyl?... Dr. Who?... Dr. Doolittle?... ok, really, I have several alter-ego personae for my literary fun and you'll just have to explore around the pages for more info about them... errr, me... ummmm, us...
in case of emergency cut off from the web, call Dr. Suess... but wait, this is really serious (but only use this address if the other addresses bounce more than a few times... some of you know I haven't checked it in many weeks, months even... at least... actually, I haven't checked that account his year at all... it's just there in case I lose internet connection and need a web-based address, so try all the other address floating around here a few times first)...
and now, without further ado, I am undone... so... to the words, rhymes, and whatever I may find in the backs or the fronts or the sides of my minds... I'll leave this closing here one more time...
I face my worst fear
for in this life nothing felt better to me
than when I heard my child call me daddy
and nothing is more important to me
than being with my family
Just One Wish
(click for more)
it's still my first wish
it may always be
for there is no end
to family
and now, out the blue...
ever feel lonely?... don't know what to do?
maybe someone else is feeling just like you
a message in a bottle may be trying to get through
an email list for the lonely... coming out of the blue
to get back to the Keep In Touch pages, go
back
if you like rhymes, poems, and creative writing... take a walk along the new paths in
The Written Gardens
or to really get the fullest picture of me written so far, you could stroll in through
The Main Gate
see ya J
