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... lifetimes ... ... lifetimes ... ... lifetimes ... ... lifetimes ... ... lifetimes ... ... lifetimes ... ... lifetimes ... ... lifetimes ... ... lifetimes ... ... lifetimes ... ... lifetimes ...
LIFE TIMES PAGES
...being some events and experiences of life as I've known it...



wherever you are tonight

may you find all you seek
I would like to know how you are
  I care about you...





and there is so much more to say to so many of you who have found a place in my heart in this life... wish you were here so I could let you know... you are welcome to my eyes or ears anytime (even in survival mode, though these days I must focus on surviving first if I am to have eyes and ears to offer)... you are welcome to a hug anytime, in words or with arms wide open... this means you, everyone of you... most especially you who already spent time sharing with me, whether in words on paper, on the phone, or face to face... you are always welcome... and encouraged to share... wish you would...

and from nowhere to somewhere, in the matter of a few hours I moved emotionally and psychologically from having nothing to say to old friends to being inspired to start a new catch up letter to friends... I don't know if it'll go through revisions as most of these generic letters do, but at least it's an active attempt to keep in touch with anybody who cares about me and everbody I care about... that's why I put it on the web, cuz I don't have addresses for everybody I care about... the hope is my message will be found...

it's a sentimental lifetimes update this week... it's a December thing that starts in mid November and you'd have to know a lot more about my personal calendar to understand the depths, but suffice to say it relates to my allowing memories of some of those dearest to my heart to surface and influence my creative process... from early childhood to first loves and best friends and peak crisis moments, some of the the best and some of the worst moments of this life kind of buch together in these months... and December become my time for deepest introspection and retrospection and inspection and reflection ad ultimately (when the process works) renewal... so much for a slice of my lifetimes...

and this week... more interviews, more job prospects... the leading candidates changed again and I decided to put off a decision yet another week as several much better prospects emerged from the flood of resumes I've poured into the Orlando area... from a long shot six figure executive director deal (a move to Daytona and massive change in lifestyle is involved in returning to that level, not to mention a two or more month interview process, so something must come sooner to fill in the gap and I'm not looking that far ahead yet) to a staffing coordinator job for a new medical staffing company in a very competitive market to another group manager spot that raises the bottom line for salary expectations another few thousand... and next week I hope to hear more about what may be the ideal middle ground between the best and bottom line positions I've interviewed for so far...

I've been through at least fifty interviews in the last month or two and it's getting boring, but the real pressure is that the bills of living in this world are coming due again and the funds are almost gone (right to the wire again)... so all my focus has been on finding the right job and my ethics about not taking a job I'll probably leave quickly if another comes along has me waiting longer than the budget director or any wisdom would deem prudent... alas, the roller coaster gets exciting again as it scrapes closer to the streets on this latest drop... deep breaths, lots of hope, and continue...

and so does some serious babbling if you read through the other journals J

I seem to be crossing back over into the physical world again after allowing the online political groups inspired by the election process to wake up Webbot for some potentially prophetic babble... not much response, as usual, but then I don't really want to be President J

  the roller coaster has been wildly mundane again this week... more loneliness deepens and more frustration widens and more excitement continues to build... the sluggish physical experience I'm providing for myself makes the ride a surreal experience for the moment, which is fun for a while but change is good too...

I enjoy the emotional roller coasters so much more than the intellectual ones (though all the rides are created and experienced in the mind, there are some that seem to remain only there and others that grab the whole body (and sometimes everything around it) by the seat of the pants and swing it around like it's a rag doll or maybe a child in the arms of a loving parent... Lisa Loeb helped (so did Meg Ryan and a few others and that's not just Libbo playing with him or herself either) J

I felt the brush of the nasty flu bug most everybody I know has had at one time or another in sometime during this recent flu season... just a brief and light touch that passed without incident as I appear to have noticed and caught it and redirected energy to control it in time...

the TV is showing signs of wear or age or something, as is this body... as is everything, mostly... execise increases slowly, with one attempt at actually running outside for a couple of laps with the weights... it was sobering to feel how out of shape this body is becoming... inspiration?... motivation?... training partner?... want list?... the living space remains ridiculous... I must refocus on the roommate search as soon as I find a job... the weather outside has dropped to be almost as cold as the weather inside... so now more than ever I'm hoping to find more friends (true friends would be nice) and playmates offline... I want to find time to read and say hello in the email groups but life must focus in the physical world right now for survival purposes... anybody in Orlando?... call?...

there's lots of new writing around the gardens so I hope you find time to look around and let me know what you enjoyed or didn't enjoy or what moved you... lots of new, some old renews... there's still so much more to share so we need to help each other keep the faith and cntinue reaching out and believing that we can make our dreams come true (we can be our own Santa and saviour and best friend) and when we are, all the pieces come together and the puzzle of our lives makes a beautiful pictue we can experience in ways we've never imagined before...

may your holidays be precious not just for the wonder and excitement of the moments, but for the renewed hope and energy they inspire you to carry throughout your life... every day and every night, merry happy everyone...


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