my "Keep In Touch" pages
hello out there
I'm still here
is there anybody out there
who's looking for a friend
like I am
hello anywhere
anybody there?
is there anyone who wants
to know me and share
and understand
seems I am not coming here to keep in touch as often as I intended as it's been a while since I came here again... sure, I am definitely busy with work... I do find time to update those pages just about every week... there are three worklife pages now, probably be a fourth soon... and I updated a lot more all over my web written gardens... there's a daily journal-type thing, though it's not being updated daily (wouldn't ya know?)... and there's other stuff I'll get to... but this is where I am trying to keep in touch about "real life" offline... and in offline life, I still don't have time for life outside of work, so I'm lonelier than ever when I have time to think about it... so... I guess I make sure I don't have much time to come here and think about it, huh?... I want someone to play with... wanna play with me?... here's a way to leave me a quick message...
ok, ok... the weather is going too far... and I'm still rambling around the point of this, aren't I?... well... still avoiding some stuff... I'll remind us that this was supposed to be (as the intro tried to say) corespondence of sorts... a way to send everybody I know a letter in the limited time I have... and some of you have reminded me (thanks for caring) that while I've been babbling a lot and having some fun with words, I haven't actually been sharing much about what's going on in life here other than worklife and loneliness... though the journal may be a step in the deeper directions where I actually live...
well... after all this time I am still at that fork and all I wanna do is spoon (and have some fun)... I'm still in the same place, so what's to tell about?... I hope to relocate sometime in the early Autumn... I still live one day at a time...
and then there's family... that's how I got in this coccoon-like life, isn't it?... they're gone again... incommunicato... not knowing where they are is even more challenging than knowing they're living in a hell... want more details, check previous KITs... you can ask, but I might not be I the mood to write about it... feel free to try to cheer this part of me up, but please don't be offended if I dance a bit... he jumped so high... he never looked down...
and I'm still walking this way, so I repeat the words...
I might decide to find the words to finally write the hard details of the challenges one of these days, but for now... I am doing my best to focus on the philosophy that goes something like... change what you can change for the better, learn to accept what you can not change, and be smart and brave enough to know the difference... yeah, I paraphrased... it is my wish to be a positive entity in this life... to leave this world just a bit better for my being here... I don't want to bring you down so I share the positive news... one of these nights, when I am in a tragic mood, I will write the story of family as I've known it... maybe I'm waiting until I can visualize it as a story someone else lived... it's still just not ready to come out right yet...
so... have I thanked you for your patience lately?... you know who you are... your words have been lifesavers as I've floundered about on these rough seas... your caring and patience and understanding has been medicine for what ails me as I've been treading water and swimming from ship to ship only to feel the water rise again as the ship sinks... ironically, captain or not, I keep going down with them and some part of me just refuses to sink... maybe it's all the hot air lam... or maybe hope really is the best floatation devise there is... I still believe in love... and belief is a choice beyond reason... and I am still happy with my choices...
inside, the peace remains intact... and the light at the end of the tunnel is still at the end of the tunnel and I am still heading for it...
oh slow moving train
still dragging my brain
vile poisonous dart
still piercing my heart
cold hard crushing rain
I must be insane
for somewhere inside
my smile is still wide
and for all I've been denied
and for the tears I've cried
and for all the love that's lied
burning me inside
somehow
I still haven't died...
still dreaming the impossible dream... and for better or worse, still living it... it's my way... and I've got to be me... all song references aside, it's what I do... still seeing rainbows through my tears...
the challenges I've experienced and am experiencing will not destroy me as long as I have a choice... no matter what I lose, no matter what I give away or is taken from me... I have a choice... my choice is to keep the faith in truth and honest love and nothing's gonna change my mind on this... and maybe with all joking aside at the bottom line, I'm just too dang stubborn...
take care of you... and welcome strangers who've stumbled in here for the first time... I hope you check out the rest of my pages and get to know me so we can become friends... and friends, one of these days... ya know?...
honest love, ric
PS... ...yup, it's a link now... seems a PS... can develop a life all it's own in these written gardens... who knows what it'll become now LOL...
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