Dogma American Beauty The Green Mile Tommy Bicentenial Man |
Girl, Interrupted Blast From The Past She's All That Field of Dreams Independence Day |
my "Keep In Touch" pages
wanna share?
that's what I'm looking for
wanna friend?
here is my open door
do you remember
how to pretend
and play games
with someone else
not just by yourself
do you know what I mean?
(I sure hope so)
come on my cloud
let me come on yours
let there be no limits
no walls and no doors
and if you are lonely
I've known lonely too
we can keep each other company
as we figure out what to do
(wanna have some fun?)
more activities, more people, more challenges, less satisfaction... nothing seems to be changing... part of the stalling is living in someone else's space and not being comfortable, no less moving in and settling into a life... been on the road so long, I've gotten used to living out of bags... I'm even more definitely due for some changes now... I'm keeping in touch more less (yes, more less) than last time I looked around... and the remnants of the 90s nightmares are still dark clouds hanging close overhead... guess I'm gonna have to find someone who wants to help clean house... someone like me who gives (all I seem to have met intimately in this life so far are takers... and I'm starting to wonder if everybody is, when it gets close)...
I am getting lonelier... that's a sign of waking... that's good... and not good... well, it doesn't feewl too good... and I am more vulnerable... that can be such a pain... I'm still getting more involved in volunteer and social activities, but still not finding the right contacts or activities to bring me more of what I seek on deeper levels... so I keep looking and open to whatever might come my way... and the budget is getting tighter, so work better be taken more seriously soon... still, I try to stay in touch with you (you few who really do care and reach out to let me know even when I'm lost in my own selfish healing bubbles)... this is what these pages are about...
so once again, thank you for coming to the web pages and keeping in touch with me this way... it really helps... you remind me that I may not really be as alone as I feel sometimes... come over J
so (this is really getting repetative, isn't it?... rundundancy r us) I'm still wandering in that old blueish grey fog and seeking the right place to settle into... and my want list continues to grow... I'm still hoping somebody might find me on the web so I've re-organized and activated still more email groups emphasizing local Orlando groups , but still open to anybody in the universe who might relate to me... find me already, will ya? J
I've been to a fewer films (just one, Hollow Man)... disappointing script, way too predictable for a good idea... I did have a great and challenging day seeing Tom Chapin live with hopefully a new friend and her two kids... it was really challenging, but also cathartic and wonderful see Tom, hear the music, be with a family, and talk to kids again... sigh, the smile is slowly returning... and I'm still catching up on movies on cable (here's a list)
Dogma
American Beauty
The Green Mile
Tommy
Bicentenial Man
Girl, Interrupted
Blast From The Past
She's All That
Field of Dreams
Independence Day
I still hope you send video suggestions... and I miss music more than ever, so help me out by sending music suggestions... I'm still spending less time at this computer, almost none in email except to manage the email groups and CFCS commitments (still taking up more time that I intended)... and new stuff helping Ben... Ben is moving to St Louis (figures, says the cynic who keeps telling me to just give up on getting close to people) and I'm going to be helping with a few of the projects he was involved in like a Childrens Holiday Party and some other groups... hopefully the card parties we were having at his house will continue somewhere... more reason to find a place...
I've stalled on updating and moving the web gardens but I did edit some of the older writings from the 486 computer... I still haven't been back to the newsgroups at all... want locals and music into my life... locals wanted (call) J
and then there's the window where I still hope friends find me and understand (talk about opening windows)... I added a few more others words to the gardens... and the getting real section is expanding as a visceral new voice appears that some may not like if they embarrass easily... and I continue to organize the personalize bios...
the deeper healing is still happening, but some huge chuncks of heart had to be cut away and digested and there are still huge chunks that need to be dealt with... it's the time of year... and the date... some of the deepest abandoned gardens are pretty overgrown... kinda like my hair (I'm so symbolic, huh?... well, at least I'm still sarcastic)... needing to remember why I write...
so here I am still, just taking my time
looking, hoping, writing a rhyme
wanting a friend who's ready to play
looking for a comfortable place to stay
the light at the end of the tunnel is nearer
can someone see me through the fog?
the outside world is becoming clearer
trying to get realer
and I see some sun and I see some rain
and maybe it's time to stop riding that train...
please take good care of yourself... and please, keep in touch...
honest love, ric
PS... when you wake up you will find that you're not where you left yourself...
if you want more details about me (you really care that much?... I ask cuz
precious and few are the ones who really care), then all I ask is that you
understand me (just me asking the impossible, huh?)... you are welcome and
encouraged to explore this web world and come to my window and dance by the
light of the silvery moon and see what I want and offer friends and check out
A Brief Introduction to Anonanonanon (Me) and more bios to get more personal
and then for more (if you have time and interest in my babbling and details),
read through previous KITs and worklife and lifetimes and then (if you are still
awake and really want more babbling) there is the almost daily journal and you
can listen to my heartbeats and oh what the heck, by then you must be either
crazy (or closer to the edge) or family, so just explore all the
new growth in
the rest of the written gardens and add yourself to my personal
address book
and meet others in the other email groups... and then, just ask what else you
want to know... and I'll do my best to fill in the details you ask for J
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