A Journal of Sorts
"do you go to the dungeon
to find out how to make peace
with your days in the dungeon?"
~ Alanis Morissette ~
and I've got ouchies... sore elbows... too many hours propped up on elbows at this computer on this lumpy bed... the springs... ouchies...
so I'm distracted, but still focusing more and the words flow and the resolution come... though the time I give to this internal work is risking winter weather obstacles... I must hope for no rain or snow for a few more days... or I may be here another week... alas, complications... maybe it won't rain or snow as predicted for the next two days... hmmmm... did I say I wasn't distracted?...
well, as is often the case, my chosen heading for this journal entry reminds me that I am pondering deeper thoughts... I've know people who choose to spend their time in dungeons... and I've ried o help them out thinking nobody would choose to spend time in dubgeons on purpose... I've learned that some people stay there out of habit or because they feel safe or becayse they feel they deserve to be punished... some mourn themselves in quiet depression and act like scared mice... some strike out at any hand extended to them like mad dogs... either way, I'm learning (finally) to that just because someone aks for help, that doesn't mean they want help... and sometimes their asking is a subconsciou trap they set so they can either be abused by or abuse the person offering help...
I've fallen into traps... and I am hoping that I have learned to av oid them... I don't know if that means I will not be as open and giving as I've always been... I do know I'm finding unconditional trust less appealing than I used to... and while it's easy enough to not get sucked in by the scared mice... I think I've learned how to deal with the mad dogs... time will tell...
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