...THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...
... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ...
A Journal of Sorts
"I think over again my small adventures
my fears
those small ones that seemed so big
for all the vital things
I had to get and to reach;
and yet there is only one great thing,
he only thing,
to live to see the great day that dawns
and the light that fills the world."
~ Unknown ~
another day, another party...
well, in this reference the word party is being used sarcastically to refer to the daily (well, almost every day) emotional tensions and tantrum that either wakes me or adds unwanted and unhealthy spice to my otherwise peaceful and relaxing healing days... I don't usually know what she goes off about as I try to block out the yelling, but she seems to find something to scream and cry about every day... it's almost always directed at her dad, but being in the same space the sounds are impossible to completely avoid... especially since much of it is right outside my door as his office and the bathroom are just three feet across the hall from me... living here is becoming more challenging with each passing day...
and the positive aspect of developing a friendship with one housemate has been put on hold as she won't allow it... so that incentive for staying in the cramped quarters sharing a bathroom with 3 now is gone... in fact, it would be much easier to be a friend if I didn't live here...
this isn't good... it's unhealthy enough when I allow other people's problems online and online conflicts to have too much of my attention, but when the living space becomes the topic of my journal entries that means it's intruding and distracting too much... I suppose many - maybe most people in this world, have not experienced the luxury of living in their own private space... but for the creative process, at least for mine, peaceful creative space is a paradise...
I suppose if I sought to write novels about life's conflicts and create stories about troubled characters all the time, living with people would be an ideal situation... but while some of my rhymes focus on the negatives and conflicts and troubled people in this world, the childinside and core of me seeks utopian dreams and that has been the kind of living environment I had created for myself from the time I stepped out of the parental space (with a few exceptions) until five years ago when I turned myself over to another person completely and well, that fiasco is what I am currently recovering from...
but that's a a whole other nightmare that was actually mine...
the silver lining is the challenges may, in the long run, help bond friendship if I can stick it out and not personalize the hostility... and thinking about living and interacting in this world in general, I wonder again... is sicking it out and not personalizing hostility what life is about?... perhaps I should read some ancient philosophy or something to finally know what others have said on the subjects... library... yes, that would be a smiling idea... sorta J
