...THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...
... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ...
A Journal of Sorts
"I'm getting to the point where I don't feel the pain
and I've had enough
I'm ready fr the next time it hits me again
'cause I've gotten tough
it doesn't faze me
and now I've made my decision
I may be crazy
it's not as though I don't know that condition
until I'm through with this blue situation
pass me the wine, it's just a minor variation"
~ Billy Joel ~
picked up weights again... and the muscles scream WHY??... and of course I don't answer cuz muscles don't understand English, but I patted them, stretched them, and sang them a happy soothing song or few (muscles like music, at least mine do, even if they don't understand the words)... and the head knows it's about dang time... and then I napped briefly and woke up and looked around this place and finally decided to move in... less than three months of vegging in distraction with movies and dinners out and soap operas on the web and bringing people together projects and more TV and finally this week I've returned to face the strange world I live in... a fggy semi-conscious quasi blues cuz I'm cramped and alone and don't have space of my own... alas, that's life...
and I knew it would be like this... sorta... I did want my own bathroom and an equally shared space... living in someone else's house is not as comfortable as sharing a house or apartment with fellow renters... ok, ok, deal with it...
so I put a wake up call into this body... we'll see if I still have the same instinctive connections or if I have lost it somewhere along the way... the initial signs say it's still instinct... the first wake up call and I'm already doing something to change the physical space around the body as well... re-arranged half the room and tomorrow I'll talk to Ben about switching a dresser for a desk that he has in the garage... somehow I've got to make it fit into this space and still leave room for a bed... and somehow I've got to make this a room I can actually invite someone into comfortably (the only good thing about climbing back up off the bottom is living existentially and that screens out all the superficial materialistic people I really wouldn't get along with in the long term anyway)...
but where am I gonna find a well educated creative genius child of the universe who doesn't seek material glitter and while can have fun with luxuries, know and seeks life's true treasures - the depths of emotions and inner truths and freedom of thought and expression and exploration of the unknown without prejudice or blind faith dogma while simultaneously experiencing the profound within the nonsense and the humour within the tragedy, not to mention the relativity of everything and last but far from least (therein only last for the moment, so why not just say that) a fine appreciation for the serious irreverence (and irreverent seriousness of multi-layered babble?)... yeah, see the people lining up... just need one... hello, you out there?... knock knock J
or as Pink Floyd sang... hello (hello, hello), is anybody out there?...
alas, I so want to hold someone, but I no longer find much interest (other than basic physical comforts) in holding empty shells... so maybe the question is...
hello, anybody in there?...
I'd really like more than a nod, if you would...
