...THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...
... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ...
A Journal of Sorts
"now you're movin' too slow and wherever you go
there's another beside
it's so hard to say no to yourself and it shows
that you're losing inside
when you step on your pride and you cry
round and round and round we spin
to weave a wall to hem us in
it won't be long, it won't be long
how slow and slow and slow it goes
to mend the tear that always shows"
~ Neil Young ~
back to the newsgroups I flowed for a break from the page editing... so many pages... so many words... so little organization... and why I ask myself... why take the break... why drag my feet about the pages... about the car... about work... about life... and the answer that is supposed to be deeply repressed cuz it hurts way too much is altogether too easy for me to find... but why should I tell myself until I'm actually really gonna do something about it...
so I type words to strangers who seek help because that is one thing I can still do alone that inspires smiles in my heart... and I seek inspiration from strangers cuz I have so little of my own here in the physical life... I have no close friends or family other than those far away... and ultimately, they are just strangers living only in words... and I no longer personalize people through words alone as I once did... I've learned a healthy respect for words and their power...
more, a respect for the power of imagination and a sense of what is real and what is illusion based in hope and dreams... good intentions and benefit of doubt are good, but not enught to base a dependant trust upon... finally, I think, enough respect to keep myself safe... there's always hope ya know...
the rebuilding process is so slow and sometimes... it seems so futile...
I wonder sometimes if I still have real heartbeats...
