...THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...
... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ...
2000 HEARTBEATS
I write to let you know that everything's alright
I write to pass the time when I'm alone
I write to focus energy and inspire more light
I write to figure things out on my own
I write to remind myself to keep sharing
even when there's nobody around
I write to remind myself to keep caring
even when my heart's the only sound
writing gets me wherever I'm bound
writing keeps me out of the lost and found
and sometimes I'm asked why I write so much... obsession, addiction, disorder, genius, what?... a lot of people seem to need explanations and labels... loose ends and things that don't fit into neatly discernable piles or boxes tend to make sme uneasy... and some even angry... fewer people ask why that is...
but to gve a reason when someone asks out of genuine interest and not simply out of fear, I do my best to spend some time each day - a couple of hours at least when I am not sharing space and time in a family relationship with someone, because I want to remember how...
life is mostly about habits... we're not nearly enlightened enough beings to actually make clear and consistent decisions over the course of these lifetimes, so we rely on habits... patterns of behaviour... and anyone in a serious relationship that is really working - or better still from my personal perspective, a healthy family - gets in the habit of making time, an hour or few every day to share with their SO and or family members... people without that habit often wonder why their relationship or family falls apart...
it's when we are alone that matters most sometimes... for alone, it's easy to forget to set aside an hour or few every day to contemplate the depths of your feelings and the details of your day... it seems selfish or egocentric or eccentric or just plain silly or worse, depending upon how scared one is of being alone... an in avoiding the intimacy with self, one falls out of the habit of setting aside that hour or few for intimate sharing time during each day and before long, it's forgotten...
it's easier to avoid loneliness when it feels like failure or inadequacy than to maintain the habit of daily intimacy... and then we wonder why we are not ready for a relationship or why parents are not there for their kids the way he kids are... the momentary awareness of the preciousness of sharing the moment - that intimacy is all kids know... all we knew until we found ourselves alone and afraid and chose avoidance and escapes like TV and clubbing and chemicals and work and whatever, rather than feel the dire hunger for sharing that comes, at first, when it is not there...
remember your first love?... remember the ending?... what did you do?
and now, looking back at your life and at your days alone... what did you do?... are you spending an hour or few sharing intimacy, not just physical intimacy, with your SO and family?... or did you get in the habit of avoiding intimacy somewhere along the way?...
that's why I'm here rambling on about anything and everything I think and feel, from the mundane and seemingly meaningless ro the depths of whatever worth I may have in this life, mostly every day... because I don't want to forget how...
for those of you who didn't ask, I could quote Emily Littela and say
never mind
but I care about you so I won't let you off so easy...
think about it...
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