...THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...

... my   "Keep In Touch"   pages ... my   "Keep In Touch"   pages ... my   "Keep In Touch"   pages ... my   "Keep In Touch"   pages ... my   "Keep In Touch"   pages ...
2000 HEARTBEATS


"you know that place between
sleep and awake
that place
    where you still remember dreaming?..."


~ Tinkerbell ~



. o O ( I might even repeat myself ) O o .

see, if I wait long enough (or better yet, distract myself with something important to me) when I first wake up, the wondrous moments of the sleep-induced state of euphoric remembrance fades and the magical creativity that can come from it slips through my fingers like the glistening grains of sands on the burning beaches of memories and fantasies in my mind...

. o O ( have you ever been wonder-filled? ) O o .

I suppose the latter half of the 90's will eventually be dubbed the lamenting years, though the first year of the five that would be considered the latter half was full of promise and hope and the magic I live for... the highest high... but this particular highest high was dependant upon others and they disappeared one day over the course of the latter half of the 90's... ironic how disappearing can feel so sudden and yet take so very, very long...

. o O ( realization, huh? ) O o .

who needs it?... well, to be aware, we all do... who wants it?... dunno, not many from my experience... still hoping somebody does... sometimes I wonder if I do and then, I wake up in one of those wondrous moments and even if I do distract myself long enough to let it slip through my fingers, I am faced with the reluctant pause of realization that it is all I live for...

. o O ( so am I alive? ) O o .

sometimes I feel I'm barely breathing (sometimes I wonder if I am), but somehow I am... wishing for more to share... allowing the digestion of the experiences of this lifetime to continue while I wait for someone to share it all... amused at the thought that I am not actively looking even as I plaster the web with all these words... sometimes a fantasy is all we need...

. o O ( thank you Billy ) O o .

I want to much to understand and be understood... to know and be known... to love and be loved... to trust and be trusted... unconditionally... I refuse to believe that it is too much to ask, cuz it's all I ask for...

. o O ( somebody, somewhere, must understand ) O o .
. o O ( that is all I've ever had planned ) O o .



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