HELPING OTHERS TO GRIEVE

Here are five simple effective ways to help someone you care about who has lost a loved one.

1. Listen, listen, listen. More than anything else, grievers need to have people who will let them talk about the loss and everything connected to it. Be there to listen.

2. Offer practical help. Provide childcare, bringing meals, running errands, fielding phone calls are all wonderful ways to assist.

3. Be a friend, not a therapist. If your find doesn't talk or show great emotion. don't force him or her to "open up". Remember that grieving patterns are individualistic. Some grieve publicly while others are more private. Respect your friend's grieving style.

4. Anticipate stressful dates. Grievers are hit hard on holidays, birthdays and anniversaries. Be especially attentive on those occasions.

5. Stay in touch. Don't drop your support right after the funeral. Be there in the weeks and months that follow.