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10 Articles on Interrelationship
TABLE OF CONTENTS 1. Men are Sheep
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Watts: It must be a drag to be a slave to the male sex drive.
Keith: It's not just sex.
Watts: Oh, you want to start a book club with her?
- "Some Kind of Wonderful" (1987)
MEN ARE SHEEP
It's really not that complicated dealing with guys if you know what to look for and recognize the signs. In spite of all the bluster and the noise and all the posturing and preening, out of all the wide variety of styles and shapes and sizes, deep down men are all the same and so if you know what you're doing it's actually quite easy to get all of us panting like thirsty canines trudging across the Sahara at high noon in the middle of summer, and lead us to wherever you want like lemmings on a string. It's an interesting phenomenon and a wonder to behold in the hands of a real expert.
Girls that may not be aware of these things as of yet may accidentally trip on the right combination of switches on some poor unsuspecting soul and unknowingly leave him in shambles at the end of an encounter. Young ladies that are starting to get a sense and appreciation of the power they hold over guys may even be able get a handful of guys to jump around like bobbleheads on a swivel. The true masters of the art are ones that have the ability to affect every single male species in the immediate vicinity on a whim. I've seen it happen time and again, to people I know as well as to complete strangers, and it's happened to me as well.
Quite a long time ago I was driving down a busy stretch in Beverly Hills, the kind of roadway that has four wide lanes (plus a turn lane) on each direction with everyone going a gazillion miles an hour -- pity the poor fool that ever wants to merge with this kind of traffic on rush hour. Anyway, as I was barrelling down on the fast lane towards an intersection that's still quite a bit aways in the distance I notice out of the corner of my eye a blonde girl in a sparkling red convertible sports car, currently with its top down. She was leaving the gas station which was at the corner of the intersection and she was telegraphing to all the drivers that she wants to go across four lanes of heavy traffic so she can get on the left-hand turn lane.
Mesmerized by the unfolding turn of events, I deduced that either she's a new driver or somone from out of state or maybe even a foreigner; someone that just wasn't aware of people's driving habits and behaviors here in Los Angeles. So I half-chuckled and smugly muttered to myself, "Good luck trying to find someone that'll let you -"
...well, at least that's what I would have said in theory. What actually happened was that I had barely managed to get the first three words out of my mouth when the guy driving along at the rightmost lane just slammed on his brakes and allowed her onto the roadway. My mouth dropped in shock! That's never happened before! At this point I was still pretty much quite far away, although closing in awfully fast. But the turn of events was strange enough to grab my attention and before I could even try to make sense of what's going on, the guy in the next lane then proceeded to slam on his brakes and let her through.
I started laughing out loud and making fun of the jokers on the two cars as they stared, all fixated at this girl's very own rendition of how to part the Red Sea, Angeleno-style. I just shook my head at the absurdity of it all and at that point I wouldn't have given it another thought as I drove past the crazy scene...except for the fact that the guy about four cars ahead on the lane to the right of me decided that he would do the same thing and slammed on his brakes to let her through!
At this point I was just steaming mad, gesticulating and screaming at everything and everyone around me, "C'mon people! You're gonna cause an accident! It's like you've all never seen a girl before! Grow up!!! You're all a bunch of dumb a-"
And then she turned to me.
We made eye contact, and I finally came face-to-face with those baby-blue eyes and slightly pouting lips, sweetly asking permission for her to cross just this one last lane so she can finally, finally, get to her turn lane. So I slammed on my brakes and let her through.
As she slid her vehicle into the turn lane she let out a grateful wave to everyone and went about her merry way. The rest of us proceeded to meekly move our vehicles forward again, with our tails firmly between our legs.
Men are sheep.
