Mother’s Day

Christianity 101

7 But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children. 8 So, affectionately longing for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us. 9 For you remember, brethren, our labor and toil; for laboring night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, we preached to you the gospel of God. 10 You are witnesses, and God also, how devoutly and justly and blamelessly we behaved ourselves among you who believe; 11 as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children."

Dr. Beverley Mead, chairwoman of the Psychiatry Department at the Creighton University School of Medicine, Omaha, Neb, said that "motherhood is vastly overrated as a career." Her conclusion was, "it is dreadful for a woman to spend her life, first as somebody’s daughter, then as somebody’s wife, and finally as somebody’s mother." She made these statements in the Parade magazine of March 21, 1971.

What a strange attitude in light of the Bible which always pictures motherhood as a woman’s glory and beauty. It’s motherhood that exalts her, and opens before her a great opportunity of joy and fulfillment. And the Bible tells many stories of the strength of character and beauty of life of Mothers.

Do you remember Jochabed, the mother of Moses, whose name means, "her glory is Jehovah." Singlehandedly she stood against the command of the greatest kingdom on earth, by refusing to let her son be thrown in the river. Then she crafted a little boat out of reeds and waterproofed it with pitch, and placed her three month old baby in it and hid it in the flags by the river’s edge. What an act of faith. No wonder her three children stood out as leaders in the pages of the Torah.

Remember Hannah, who "lent to the Lord" the child of her prayers and love. Each year she made a little coat for Samuel. He became the leader in Israel not only because God called him to do a special work, but because his mother was consistent before him in the way she lived and trained him.

There is Ruth, the queen of the harvest field, who though a Gentile, with no rights or privileges in the nation of Israel, yet married into the Nation, and became part of the ancestral line of Jesus Christ our Lord. There is Mary, blessed among women, who gave birth to and raised the King of kings and Lord of lords. Lois and Eunice were mother and grandmother of Timothy, and were remembered by Paul for their "sincere faith." They raised the man who became the Apostle Paul’s official trouble shooter. There is truth to the statement, "the hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world."

My thought for today was to list the names of the mothers at our church. And then my second thought was to narrow that list to the mothers who have children under the age of 18. I came up with 16 of them off the top of my head, and thought that there might be a couple of more that I missed. But when Martha and I checked through the names, we discovered that there are 44 mothers here with children under the age of 18 — a surprising number. And I was interested to notice how many of them have three children — more than 18 of them have that number! That must be the official BBC number, maybe because it has some representation of the Trinity! So I am not naming the mothers; you know who you are and we honor you today.

But I would like to speak about these mothers today, not necessarily to them, but about them. Because it seems to me that one of the many reasons why God has given us mothers is to introduce us to Himself. God has created mothers to be examples of His characteristics. I think that God uses the traits of a "normal" mother to explain Himself. Let me point out just three of the characteristics commonly seen in mothers that show us God’s qualities. Two of these characteristics are from our passage today, and the third one is from Proverbs.

I. The display of LOVE -- God is LOVE. Mothers display God’s kind of love.

I Thess 2:7-8 "But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children. 8 So, affectionately longing for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us."

The words "gentle" and "cherish" in verse 7 describe motherhood — the nursing mother who will meet every need of her child because that child is hers in a way it is no one else’s. The word "cherish" is a word that means to "warm." It is used of a bird covering her young with her feathers. Think of the way in which the life of a nursing mother is wrapped up in her baby; she is available at any time, day and night. She constantly holds and caresses and kisses and hugs her baby. Paul says, "that’s the way we were with you because that’s the way God is with us." The mother’s actions picture the love of God.

What does "love" mean? It means that there is a special attachment to her children that no one else has. It’s an attachment that will never be broken, no matter what they do, where they go, how they leave, what their attitude is. Mother is with them, thinking about them, and if necessary, worrying about them.

I think God builds this into a woman when she gives birth to her child. Once you carry a child inside you for nine months, and give birth to that child, there is an attachment that even mothers don’t understand fully -- that child belongs to you, in a way far beyond what any of us as children understand.

We had this attachment demonstrated about 15 years ago. Remember Mary Beth Whitehead? She had signed a contract with the Sterns to be a surrogate mother for them, for the price of $10,000. But after she had the baby, she had great difficulties in giving her up, and would not take the money. The case went to court in Hackensack, NJ, the Baby M trial. One of the witnesses was a professor at the Massachusetts General Hospital Institute of Health Professions, who had spent 20 years studying loss in women. In her testimony she talked about the bonds that connect a mother and her child. She said most people, even mothers, do not understand the depths of this connectedness. And when this connection is broken, either through death, or giving up the child for adoption, she said this, "the woman feels a shattering disruption of her sense of identity." In her study of 246 biological mothers who gave their child up for adoption, 95% of them reported that it was "worse than they ever imagined" (from the Washington Post).

So when you hear women weeping for their children, and mothers who go out of their way to help their children at great expense, and mothers who chase after their children and can’t let them go — learn from them. They display perhaps more clearly than anyone else, the heart of God — Who weeps for His children and chases after them as a shepherd going after a lost sheep

My mother raised four children, and kept raising us until she was 90. But after most of us were out of the house, actually even before, she started adopting others as her children. Dr. Homer Heater and his wife Pat were early adoptees, who she began to get concerned about back when I was 13 or 14 and Homer was 19 or 20. And we prayed for the Heaters as Homer left his government job and went to school, and then seminary, and then became pastor of a church, and then went on to get his Doctorate. I remember the Leckies, missionaries with ISI. Mom was worried about the food she thought they weren’t getting, so we took a bag of groceries over to them every other week, just to make sure they had enough to eat. And the Putneys and the Larsons, and others. She made them her children, by treating them with the same kind of care and interest she displayed to her physical children. It didn’t matter what they thought of it, or where they went. They "belonged" to her. They were on her prayer list, they were on her giving list, they were on her family list, from this day even forever. It was only four or five years ago when we finally sold the family house, and my mother was rich, at least richer than she ever had known that she was. Since my dad had passed on, she was now in charge of the money, for the first time in her life. What was her first desire? Send money to all her adopted kids. Of course by now, she was on to new kids. And I was the one who was to help her divide up the money to give. "We’ve got to send money to Homer at the Bible college; we’ve got to send money to Cornelio Rivera," etc. etc. She had about 25 people or organizations to which she was responsible. And I wrote all the checks. What was she doing? Displaying the cherishing nature of a mother.

Jesus Christ displayed this love. He "worried" about us, if we can say it that way; He took the responsibility for our stupidity. And He became sin for us; He took the penalty of our sins upon Himself. We are the sinners; we have gone astray. You would think that God would say, "you made you bed, you have to live in it. Here comes your punishment." Instead Isaiah describes it this way: "all we like sheep have gone astray, we have turned every one to his own way, and the Lord hath laid on HIM the iniquity of us all." Just like mothers lay upon themselves the responsibility of their children. That is love; that is the kind of love I first saw in my mother when she took responsibility for me.

Who else cared for you the way your mother did? Did your brother? Or sister? Did the neighbors who were watching your family? Sometimes father’s love can match that of mothers, but it’s usually the mother who gives us the clearest example. And here is the question God directs to us: "have we ever had that kind of concern for anyone?" A kind that is "gentle," and "cherishes" them, and takes responsibilities for them, and will never let them get away from their love. Think of how you react to the stupidity of others. Have you ever "nourished" someone? taken care of them even though they do unwise things? Or do you just "love them and leave them," and go on to the next relationship.

How can we learn to love the way God loves us? God has provided an example in motherhood. Watch a mother.

A second characteristic of God that we see displayed in motherhood is:

II. The display of LABOR — Mothers display God’s kind of labor. 9 For you remember, brethren, our labor and toil; for laboring night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, we preached to you the gospel of God.

A. Motherhood begins with intense labor

Galatians 4:19 "My little children, for whom I labor in birth again until Christ is formed in you..." Have you seen a woman in labor? I watched my wife six times, and every time was brought to tears by the absolute totally intense struggle she gave to deliver a child. She seemed to go to the extreme edge of her physical capabilities. I wondered why she didn’t have a heart attack, or why she didn’t pop a blood vessel, since they were all standing out on her face and neck. She had one huge desire — to get this baby OUT! Paul said to the Galatians, "I am repeatedly in labor over you. I have one huge desire that controls me — to see a delivery on your part, a delivery to maturity. I want to see you people grow up. I pray that you might be delivered from false doctrine which is stunting your growth."

Mothers go thru a similar kind of repeated labor. They keep laboring over the growth of their children, maybe not physically as much this time, but mentally, and emotionally, they long for their boys to make wise choices, and to grow up and to experience all the privileges and joys of adult life properly lived.

This word for the travail of mothers is used of Messiah in Isaiah 53:11 — "He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many: for he shall bear their iniquities." For Jesus Christ, the travail of His soul was in "bearing their iniquities" as their substitute. Mothers often go through experiences with their children — suffering when they suffer, rejoicing when they win first place.

I am told that the Lithuanian word for mother means "martyr." That’s a rather appropriate word for the woman who holds such an role. Where else in the world are you going to find someone so unselfish? The best in motherhood is closely associated with the best of martyrdom.

B. Think of why Mothers go through this travail

28 Him we preach, warning every man and teaching every man in all wisdom, that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus. 29 To this end I also labor, striving according to His working which works in me mightily.

2:1 For I want you to know what a great conflict I have for you and those in Laodicea, and for as many as have not seen my face in the flesh, 2 that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, and attaining to all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the knowledge of the mystery of God, both of the Father and of Christ, 3 in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

Notice the hope of Paul’s goal here — "that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus" (1:28), and "that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, and attaining to all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the knowledge of the mystery of God, both of the Father and of Christ." His goal corresponds in the spiritual realm to the goal of parents in the physical realm — growth, maturity, responsibility, wise choices, financial solvency, taking one’s place as a benefit to society. And Paul is going through labor pains by giving all his energy for this goal. He’s not going to take their turn to false doctrine sitting down. He could have said, "we will just leave this in God’s hands; we will trust God and go on our way." Instead he said, "we will trust God, and we will take the burden of praying for them and helping them until they grow up. What true mother would not undergo a second birth ordeal for her "little children" if it were required of her? (Lenski, 229).

How painful it is to a mother when her child never grows up, when he never seems to learn to make wise choices. Mothers can spend years of their lives questioning what they did and evaluating all their moves, wondering why her child still has infantile characteristics. She wants her boy to experience the riches of life, and he is still playing with his toys, granted they are more expensive toys, but he is still mentally, emotionally in the play pen.

Do you remember Paul’s prayer for the Ephesians that we mentioned last week? He is worried that these Ephesian Christians, who have been given millions of dollars worth of heavenly gifts, and who have been prepared by God for amazing victory in life, so as to accomplish things that no one dreamed possible, will miss it all, because they haven’t gotten out of the play pen. They don’t understand what the Christian life is about at all.

That’s the heart of a mother. That’s the motivation — to see her baby grow up and develop into a mature, capable, adult. And she is striving. She is in repeated travail.

C. How does the Mother labor and travail? — prayer.

There is a striking similarity between what a natural mother does and what Paul was doing. Even if the mother is an unbeliever, when she sees her firstborn son going off to Iraq to war, what does she do? She prays. She "labors and travails" for him in her prayers.

Look at this interesting account of one of Paul’s associates: 4:12 "Epaphras, who is one of you, a bondservant of Christ, greets you, always laboring fervently for you in prayers, that you may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God. 13 For I bear him witness that he has a great zeal for you, and those who are in Laodicea, and those in Hierapolis."

What kind of labor is Epaphras involved in? It’s a struggle on his knees. If you care enough to send the very best, you will send it through the presence of God in prayer. Do you struggle with people and their problems in prayer? That’s true motherhood.

Mothers display characteristics of God in their LOVE and their LABOR for their children. Let me mention one more characteristic they display.

III. The display of wisdom — Mothers display God’s kind of Wisdom

I Thess 2:11 "as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children."

Why did he say "father" here? Why did he switch the gender of the metaphor? He has been talking about motherly characteristics. Why bring a father in? Could he have said "mother" here? Yes. But would it have meant the same thing? I doubt it. I think that there is a difference between the communication of the father and that of the mother.

In the book of Proverbs, the Father is the one who instructs his son in life’s ways, and repeatedly refers to what the son needs to know and embrace as feminine. Notice the passage in 4:1-13 where twice the instruction of the Father moves to the feminine understanding of wisdom: "Hear, my children, the instruction of a father, And give attention to know understanding; 2 For I give you good doctrine: Do not forsake my law. 3 When I was my father's son, Tender and the only one in the sight of my mother, 4 He also taught me, and said to me: "Let your heart retain my words; Keep my commands, and live. 5 Get wisdom! Get understanding! Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth. 6 Do not forsake her, and she will preserve you; Love her, and she will keep you. 7 Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding. 8 Exalt her, and she will promote you; She will bring you honor, when you embrace her. 9 She will place on your head an ornament of grace; A crown of glory she will deliver to you." 10 Hear, my son, and receive my sayings, And the years of your life will be many. 11 I have taught you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in right paths. 12 When you walk, your steps will not be hindered, And when you run, you will not stumble. 13 Take firm hold of instruction, do not let go; Keep her, for she is your life.

Notice how the voice of wisdom in Proverbs is always female. Why? And the person who is being instructed is always the "son." Why not the daughter? Did they not give instruction to daughters back then? Don’t let someone tell you that this was an example of male chauvinism which included a poor attitude toward the education of women. Rather than neglecting the education of their daughters, Jewish society emphasized the education of both boys and girls. The very fact that wisdom herself is portrayed as a woman indicates that Solomon sees women in an exalted light, as the instructor of all the sons. It’s the woman who is looked up to as being able to protect her sons from the temptations of the other woman, the strange woman, and the man, the power broker. Solomon could have just said, "wisdom is wisdom, is wisdom." Why did he say, "wisdom is a she?" He obviously is implying that there are feminine characteristics to wisdom.

This gender distinction seems to be largely maintained in Proverbs. The father is trying to get his son to listen to the woman who represents wisdom. The word "daughter," as the one being taught, does not occur in Proverbs (even though the plural appears in 30:15 and 31:29). But the word "son" appears 43 times (and many of them are in the context of "listen to me and learn, son"). Daughters don’t seem to have the same problem, or don’t seem to have the problem of inattention in the same way. And what is the need that sons face? Their need is for wisdom, the kind that comes from a woman, like their mothers; the kind they most easily ignore.

Think about what it must be like to be a woman — even today, in a Middle-eastern culture. Pretend you are the wife of a Middle-East man, a Muslim. What is your role and sphere of influence? You are relegated to the side track of life, you are supposed to be in the house as pretty much the servant, cooking food and bearing children and serving the men who are doing the "important" things. Imagine the frustration of your position knowing that God has created you, as a woman, to be the "help" meet for the man, to have and to hold what he needs. And what does he need? Wisdom. You have the information, the insight, the understanding that he so desperately needs. But suppose he doesn’t want to listen to you, because "you are a woman." What does a woman know? The truth of the matter is, much, that the men need. TRUE WISDOM IN PROVERBS IS A WOMAN!!

I think that part of what Solomon is saying here is that a man is never going to learn true wisdom, until he stops and listens to his MOTHER! Or someone who is like his mother. What’s it like for, say a teenage boy, to listen to his mother? Her voice is usually softer, and quieter and doesn’t have the same authority and control as his father, especially when he has grown to be taller and stronger than his mother. How easy it is to ignore that soft, quiet, voice of love. She can’t control you any longer, she can’t jump in and take over your life and force you to obey. She can call out to you, but it is easy to keep walking.

The resulting danger is that when you become big and strong enough to ignore the voice of your mother, you become a prime target for the woman who flatters with her lips, or the man who promises great riches by overpowering others. Once you are attracted to them, chances increase that you will "set at naught" the feminine voice of wisdom (1:25) and develop a hate for knowledge (1:29) and reject the fear of the Lord.

My point here is that God communicates to us sometimes in the voice of the Father. But He also sometimes communicates to us in the voice of the Mother. What is that voice like? God many times speaks in a "still, small voice." God many times uses people to influence us who are "weaker," and "less intelligent" and "less important" (I Cor 1:26-27). How often do we listen when God speaks in a quieter voice? We are only going to hear Him when we REALLY listen, when we stop, turn to, tune in, and focus on what He is saying. Do you really listen to your mother? Perhaps what you need in wisdom your mother has — and wants to give you.

We have seen how God, in His marvelous creative ability has given us demonstrations of His characteristics in the natural world, the world of motherhood. And these characteristics displayed by mothers are characteristics God wants to GIVE each of us. He desires to build them into our lives that He might use us to represent Him in our circle of influence.

There is a story from ancient mythology, about a certain king who summoned his people to bring the highest achievements of his kingdom to the throne. He promised a special crown to the one who could demonstrate the finest accomplishment. The artist brought his paintings; the sculptor his statues; the farmer the fruits of his fields; the poet came with his poems; the musician with his music, the inventor with this machines, the teacher with his books. There were 11 in all who displayed their talents as the greatest in his kingdom. They were all there with every conceivable kind of achievement the world had ever seen. Along with them came an old woman with nothing in her hands. The king looked down at her and demanded, "woman, why are you here, with nothing to bring?" She answered, "I am here just to look on. I simply interested in finding out who will receive the crown. You see, all these are my children."

After the wise men made their judgment, they gave the crown to her, for she was the source and guidance of all this talent in the kingdom. Mothers, may you be so honored and blessed by the lives of your children. You are loved; you are blessed because you are a special demonstration to each of us.

5/11/03, BBC am

05Mothersday.MEF - 07/23/03