LETTERS TO FRIENDS
...sometimes the best I can do to keep in touch is write to everyone at once...
this is here for those of you who like details and want to see the actual development of the babbling letters to friends as they are created... below is the initial release and if you wish to see the full version (which might be called the director's cut), skip ahead by clicking here... hello, it's me... now there's an old song... all the usual irreverence and joking aside, may you find a huge surge of positive energy flooding your world right now... I am happy you are alive (even if you didn't know I was) and hope this brightens your day... if you do write to me, your mails and knowing you check the website means much more than I can express at the moment - lifeline is a word that approaches the worth you have in my mind... and I hope you know that when some of the mail becomes part of my website, it's because you've inspired me to want to share something with the whole world (hello world, how are you? :) and now, on with the show... I mean letter... it has been longer than usual (and these last few years I've been corresponding less frequently than ever before, but I still love words and seek word-lovers {and fun lovers and sun lovers and other children of the night too... a fun sun loving child of the night, huh?... did I mention music lover?... we could go on listing all my loves, but that would take a few lifetimes so I'll just nonchalantly slip out of this parentheses within a parentheses now} who want to share)... where were we?... there was a time when I wrote and received a dozen letters a day and had a meaningful correspondence with more than a hundred people every month (remember?... I know some of you do, especially if you were around when I was publishing {I miss you}... and heck, I've known some of you since grade school... gawrsh, we're not old yet right?... not me, no way, not I, no sir)... I had a lot more time on my hands in those days... alas, early retirement didn't work again (but it was so much fun... I enjoy the time away from working so much I forget to continue working on investments and other grown-up stuff... the child inside of me has had much fun so far in this life {many tell me too much, but I think they're just afraid to leap off tall cliffs like I do... notice the self-mocking smile?}... and I'm still looking for more {serious fun} too :) so anyway, it's like this... once again I am saying hello to you because you are in my home computer email address book (big welcome to all the old and new friends who climbed in since the last long and winding letter)... yes, it's a generic mailing... it's still a personal mail from me though, so I hope you don't mind too much that I am keeping in touch with way for the moment... I'm working a lot of overtime again (alas, vacations don't last forever for us dependantly wealthy people... though I've certainly enjoyed my years off) and living between phones (not to mention beds, fridges, bathrooms, and so on) so I'm barely online a few hours a week if that much and writing time is scarce (I actually go several days without writing at times... amazing, huh?... well, if you know me even a little, it is :} anyway, I'm determined this time... yes, I'm gonna start sending an update like this (yeah, complete with the rambles, rhymes, and parenthetic tangents) every month... maybe even every week... ok, so it'll probably be more haphazardly, but I'm definitely gonna do my best to make time to write and send more updates (feel free to cheer... or booo, if you must :) if we never really got to know each other and you don't want to hear from me at all, just say so... you found your way into my personal email address book because we shared at least one email or ICQ chat (childinside, 2119422) or chat room chat (anonanonanon, among ther names) or newsgroup or email group conversation or something sometime in the last four or five years and your words impressed me enough to want to know you better... so please take this as the compliment it's intended to be even if you're deciding we are to be ships passing briefly in the night only to break contact before we really make it... and make yourself a wonderful life :) but before you go, I'll ask directly... do you want to hear from me? (suddenly, suspense fills the air as I await your reply :) weird question, perhaps, but then I've been known to be weird from time to time... I know many of you are saying something like "of course, dummy", but then the question isn't really for you if I know you love me (or at least tolerate me for some odd reason), is it? (tongue sticking out and all)... seriously, I've been out of touch for a lot of reasons (some horrible, some stupid, some others)... I don't know if I should send out a long and babbling letter to everybody in my address book or just leave it at this (oh, and this isn't long and babbling yet?) and wait to see if you want to hear from me... I really don't want to bug you and I dont particularly want any more rejection in this life than I already have known, so how about a simple yes or a no? (quick rejections are easier to swallow, ya know? :) did I already ask this? (sometimes I even confuse myself... that's usually when you'll find me laughing at myself {LAM... or lam if I'm just laughing a little}... I'm easily amused as you might recall)... anyway, if you're staying in touch, I hope to hear from you now and then... especially if you're ever gonna be in the Orlando area... I love visitors... if you want to read these update letters on the web at your leisure, you can find them online on my website in the letters to friends and very soon at the ricc group (I am ric c, ya see, and that's my online address book, feel free to add yourself by clicking right here: ricc-subscribe@yahoogroups.com {that's a wonderful way of answering yes to the question, ya know?} and giving me a huge smile)... and if you have time and want to meet others in my address book, find them at the riclist if you're still with me, then super huge HUGS =) and thank you... hope you have been well... now I'll see about gathering a few thoughts and looking at where have I been in this life (wow, the babbling intro is finally over?)... I've been working 17-18 hour shifts a lot, sleeping in the car (to get extra sleep instead of spending time driving as work is some distance from the places I can call home right now)... eventually I'll find a place closer to work and "go home" more often (most seriously, please pass along any info about apartments (briefly what I'd like in an apartment: place) or potential roommates (briefly what I'd like in a roommate: person) in the East Orlando, UCF area :) life is work for now (and I'd really love to find some local friends who keep odd hours like me to share some life that's not work... the main challenge is that I work when most people are not working and when I'm off, most people are working... call anytime)... I work with what are called "at-risk youth"... children and adolescents who, for a variety of reasons, have behavior and psychiatric problems that require a level of residential care that their family can not or will not provide... the job description can basically be summed up as parenting and professional therapy... it's challenging and rewarding in many ways and a good stepping stone position as I decide whether I am returning to the health care and human services world... I mean, until I get discovered by Hollywood or Broadway or something... other than work, life's been bouncing around... around me there's been some sickness and death, some pleasure and birth... my high has been surviving and healing and helping others and still, in spite of all the profound challenges, being the playful kid I am... my low was one of the dearest people I know left her body (alas, one less living family member) and passing my very own kidney stone (at work, no less... it took about 100 hours while working 50 of them... such fun)... I would love to find more motivation (and time and energy) to exercise more, eat healthier, and share more depths and fun with friends... how about you?... shoot pool?... tennis?... basketball?... softball?... run?... workout?... movies?... theme parks?... what's fun for you?... if you're local, whatcha doing right now? :) words are still a major part of life for me... fun and creativity and therapy and communication and more, I continue writing whenever I can find a moment and stay awake between work shifts... and the words still find their way on the web for whatever they are worth to the world (at least I can imagine I'm sharing when I upload words, even when I'm alone :) the main web gate is: http://home.att.net/~candor and for my fellow word lovers, life in the web written gardens has been slow flowing, but still growing... I finally gave the child inside of me a web home: http://home.att.net/~childinside there's very little there at the moment, but if you have a child inside of you, you are very welcome to be welcomed there :) I've been writing a little in the email groups and finally started rebuilding the letters to strangers garden if you'd like to see... if you'd really like to get to know me it'll take some eye contact (come on over)... a lot of eye contact for starters, actually... as much as I love words, so much more can be communicated with eyes and without words... but a lot of me can be found on the web so if you don't have time for an in-person visit but do have time for some online reading, the more personal place to start is the window you'll find updates of life mixed with rambling philosophical musings and some creative play (so I may not be as easy to find in words as it may seem, but if you're a lover of words like me, have fun :) and closer still (containing more than anybody's ever asked) are the various weekly letters called lifetimes (these are way behind at the moment, the journals are up to date) and journals and the bios (still just beginning) and more (yes, I have a bios, doesn't everybody in this cyber-age? :) if I had time I would respond to you if I had time I would listen to more music I would ramble on in words I would even fall in love if I had time if I had time I would get to know you if I had time I would swim in the ocean I would dance on fallen leaves I would even kiss a frog if I had time I hear dogs barking outside time to go to work all the bills must be paid they pay me for my time if I had time I would put more into life if I had time I would sing a song to sparrows I would water the flowers I would even pet the dog if I had time if I had time I would make love to you if I had time I would rock a child to sleep I would find my one true love I would try to inspire laughter if I had time I hear dogs barking outside time to go to work all the bills must be paid they slay me for my time if I made different choices in the past maybe it would have changed today but there's no way to know as far as I know so what's the difference anyway it's just another rhyme and I pretend I don't realize it is my time if I had time I would give you more time if I had time I would write in my journals I would beg for your attention I would try to save the world if I had time if I had time I would complete this rhyme the way I see it is friends will be there and others will not and it's just as well we find out who our friends are cuz we will anyway sooner or later... so a serious thank you if you're happy to hear from me... part of why I don't send out mail is I don't want to worry anybody (all the tongue-in-cheek babbling I do on the web pages tries to keep positive and optimistic, but life these past four years sometimes just plain sucks and who wants to hear that for years?... don't all raise your hands at once now :} internally, life is really much better these days in so many ways... I am in transit once again... this one took me by surprise and I've slipped into long term camping out mode which, while working 70 or more hours a week, is tough on the back, but great for the bank... anybody want to adopt me? (I might be serious, but I'll never tell unless I'm asked)... maybe I'll take next year off :) I'd love everybody to love me (wouldn't it be a wonderful world if everybody loved you and everybody else?... I believe we would if we just gave each other a little meaningful time and half a chance, but then I believe in magic and Neverland and imagine all the people living life in peace too, for that matter), but I know I'll probably not please or amuse or attract everybody all the time... at least I'm usually having a good time and doing my best to harm nothing so even if I don't get everything I want (or love) in this life, I find and create a lot more smiles than frowns... and I hope life is smiling more than frowning for you... is it? thank you for remembering and for being in this world :) and I love you... and remember that there's a hug in Orlando with your name on it... that's what I wanted to tell you... hope that's a smile :) honest love, ric Web Gate (join some online groups) 407-426-7101 LETTERS TO FRIENDS can be inspired by anyone asking me questions or by my desire to keep in touch with friends and people becoming friends or sometimes, just a fantasy of someone I wish was a friend whether you live in Orlando or far away, these are web ways to stay in touch with me (or give me a little attention and feedback) . o O ( J I love attention and feedback... doesn't everybody? J ) O o . Reading on the Web kinda monthly updates: http://home.att.net/~candor/kit weekly summaries: http://home.att.net/~candor/kit/lifetimes daily-ish journals (work): http://home.att.net/~candor/kit/worklife daily-ish journals (life): http://home.att.net/~candor/kit/journals (other deeper journalish writings can be found if you have time to explore) (Heads Up... though these are letters to real people and the journals are based in real offline life, here as much as anywhere in the written gardens on the web there is creative play, literary fantasy, and just stuff a writer with too much time at times might do... differentiating between what is really happening in life offline and what is pure imagination {and how much of each is on each page} is for you to figure out... or specifically ask about) J J More Ways to Keep In Touch via Email (and let me know you care) J semi-infrequent updates by email: ricc-subscribe@egroups.com make sure you're in my addy book: riccc-subscribe@egroups.com various online groups to explore: http://home.att.net/~candor/eg wait for me to respond to mail (could be a while): candor@writeme.com Via Phone, Fax, or Snail Mail LETTER INDEX GO BACK GO ON RUN AWAY! 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