THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...
(at least this is how I see me :)
thanks for writing and wanting to know me :)
especially in my silent times, your feedback means a lot to me...
LETTERS TO FRIENDS
...sometimes the best I can do to keep in touch is write to everyone at once...
you want to know about me?... well, here's some of a response to a new friend who asked (and links to more words)... I was asked:
>So, ric, how are you? Please, tell me more about you. Work? Play? Life?;
>You know, the stuff that makes you who you are.....
>
hopefully my response below is a fair start to getting to know me... feel free to ask questions for more details if you are interested in knowing more of me... I am here (alive) to share and care - to share caring - that's what makes me happiest... my purpose for being.... I do my best not to hide cuz hiding is the antithesis of sharing and defeats my purpose... so I welcome and encourage you to read and ask questions cuz your questions turn the pages of the open book I strive to be :)
>So, ric, how are you?
>
lonely and missing sharing offline... otherwise, happy with me, being mostly a moment to moment being and relatively self-sufficient... tolerating and making the best of my day-to-day worklife that is necessary for now but leaves inadequate social-life time... and doing my best to remain hopeful that I'll find a friend (or friends, even) and find time to play with them...
ultimately, I'm up, down, and spinning around at any given moment... there's heavy challenges that must be resolved and/or accepted and I'm doing my best to keep climbing back to a better place in life... still striving to actualize my dreams, find someone who'll share everything unconditionally, create a family, and build a bit of a better world for us (and John Lennon's Imagine plays in the background of my mind :)
>Please, tell me more about you.
>
ok, and thank you for caring to know... and if this letter isn't enough for you (and I hope it isn't :) ... feel free to read my current babbling bio on the web... it's my current best shot at answering your request and from there you can get to the rest of my home on the web and find out how much you really want to know about me :)
and then you're welcome and encouraged to explore the links below to my home on the web...
I'll summarize "me" here, starting with ideals and faiths and the inside stuff... honesty is my highest ideal and the quest for truth and love is my faith and chosen purpose for living... innocence (defined as harmless intent, as opposed to inexperience or ignorance) is my way and also the most attractive character trait for me... curiosity (mine seems insatiable) is my primary motivation to continue exploring and striving to actualize my chosen purpose - to experience and share everything as completely as possible, accepting that anything is possible... feeling as much and as good as I can feel is my goal, caring feels better than anything else I've tried, sharing makes caring feel even better, so sharing caring is my reason and purpose and the way I try to actualize my ultimate inner personal goal...
ultimately I strive to be all I can be and make the most of each moment I am here within as balanced a peace as I can attain... accepting that the moment is all there is and striving to maintain the conscious awareness that allows me to actualize the most of each moment... I do my best to actualize my ideals in all I do, and in all I do, I seek peace and an end to harm...
reaching outside from this shell (body) I am most inspired by and attracted to life and beings that are open to experiencing and actualizing all life can be... usually plants and animals and children are a lot more inspiring than grown-up type humans... I can sense the planet as a whole and feel it's balance and imbalance, "feeling" the balance as pleasure and peace and the imbalance and strife and pain... and I seek to share as much positive energy and experiences as possible with others...
words and music are my primary creative release and inspiration... while most kids in my generation grew up on Dr. Spock, I preferred Dr. Seuss... I think in rhymes and feel in melodies and seek to share all in life's harmonies... the physical senses are amazing to me and I love experiencing all of them as much as possible, so all that inspires and is stimulating to the senses intrigues me... every experience is sensual for me, though not every experience is sexual because sometimes I prefer sensuality with minimal or no sexuality... positive pleasures attract me and I don't enjoy or consciously seek negative stressors or painful experiences...
there's a very light scratch of the surface of "me"... the links above are one way to find more... in time, more will flow into words and I hope to learn more about you too...
>Work?
>
I've worn many work "hats"... the longest profession was health care administration - managing a residential care facility and 24 hour treatment program for people who, due to birth defects, were physically limited (handicapped) and diagnosed as mentally retarded (for some years I worked with groups at the high end of the MR-IQ scale, for some years I worked with groups at the lowest end or the scale)...
other jobs include EMT (Emergency Medical Tech, in the US Army), driver, exterminator, landscaper, recycling line sorter, sporting good saleman, accounts receivable clerk, mailroom clerk, stock boy, nanny, and probably a few I've left out... these were brief and stepping stones along the way...
also I home-published a few small newsletter/magazines along the way geared toward creative writing and written correspondence... and most recently (these days) I work for a building services company supervising crews on various jobs (floor cleaning, carpet cleaning, snow removal, construction cleaning, and whatever)... not very challenging, but the job was in the right place at the right time and offers lots of overtime which I need to dig out of some holes I created for myself over the last few years...
my favorite "work" was being a stay-at-home parent... it's also what I miss most and the biggest hole I'm digging out of...
>>Play?
>
yes, please? :) ... memories ... words... music... I love sharing, so just about anything shared (especially with a true friend or friends) is fun for me... choosing for just me - I love to play pool, tennis, cards and board games and trivia games (love mental stimulation)... I love walks and hikes through natural places... I love water, so swimming and water activities are great pleasures... I enjoy softball and touch football (though groups are challenging to connect with sometimes)... I enjoy a lot of activities, from running or rolling down sand dunes (free falling is wondrous, sky diving anybody?) to bowling and golf... heck, I even like to shop... I love to cook (as I said, I love experiencing and exploring the senses... so I learned to cook cuz I love tastes and I've accepted that I won't be able to kiss someone all the time... ah, but the perfect world LOL)...
as you may have noticed, I love to write (well, I call it writing :) ... it's my #1 solitary activity... music would be right next to it on my priority list... I don't play much anymore cuz I don't have anything to play these days and my fingers would definitely need lots of practice to satisfy me, but I used to play keyboards (mostly right handed cuz I learned on an accordian)... I love to record tapes of songs that connect and convey messages... and as writing is inhaling for me, singing is exhaling (or vice versa, at times)...
I love experiencing this body sensually and sexually, but don't share this body nearly as much as this body would like me to because the emotional connections confuse and complicate physical sharings most of the time... I'm very visual and love taking and viewing pictures... I love film (especially a theatre experience) and live shows and concerts (from rock and roll arenas to folk in a small room) and video... and I love to read (Dr. Seuss to Stephen King to Charles Dickens to Robert Heinlein and lots more) when I have time (these days I'm usually so tired I'm asleep before I reach the bottom of a page... ummmmm, hopefully you're not having that problem right now LAM ;)
I absorb and become part of stories that ask me to think and inspire me to feel... some romances, especially on the screen or in musicals... and old musicals... I love stories that inspire emotional catharis or actually educate and enlighten while they entertain... I love learning and teaching and exploring new perspectives... I love watching and playing with children and people who haven't stiffled their child inside... I love playing with animals... I love gardening when I have the means... and I'm probably leaving out things I wouldn't want to go long without experiencing and sharing :)
>>Life?;
>
a long strange trip... especially in this modern world built by humans... I puzzle over walls people put up to "protect" themselves as they are contradictory and they undermine my purpose in life - to share... I am frustrated by the accepted hypocrisies I see in virtually every human endeavor... I am dismayed by the apathy that allows and silently supports the careless "productivity" that depletes the planet and unfairly distributes the resources, leaving many to fight for survival and die without experiencing a fraction of the potential life has to offer... I detest greed and the insecurity behind it, seeing wealth not as power but the "need" for wealth as weakness... I do my best not to participate in the social suicide most people accept and appear to enjoy... I try to keep my eyes open and use them to see what's around me... same for all my senses... I respect balance and security and positivity and sharing... I strive to support life...
through all my experiences my first priority has been searching for "the one" who could and would experience life and share everything unconditionally with me... that has made this life an emotional roller coaster ride that at times dragged me through hells beneath my worst nightmares that depressed me to moments of doubt about wanting to continue staying in this life... but I resist any diminishing of my senses that might reduce emotional experiences because the heights of peace and pleasure and euphoria and the dream that I'll find "the one" is worth the challenges...
>>You know, the stuff that makes you who you are.....
>
wanting to share everything is what makes me tic, what underlies everything I do... when I am alone as I am these days, writing and sending words out to anyone who cares is how I "share"... so most of what makes me who I am these days can be found on the web at the addresses below... believing in myself, my dreams, my ideals, and the possibility that I can actualize and share it all in this life is what keeps me alive and makes me who I am...
honest love, ric (leave a message on ICQ - at 2119422)
1999 SIGFILE: to friends and anyone who cares to know more... due to a busy life, I'm primarily keeping in touch via my personal web pages so my individual responses are inconsistent and ultra-brief if the happen at all... please check the webpages and read nothing negative in passing time :)
THE MAIN GATE
(the main entrance to my world on the web)
My Home Page (The Front Door)
(my home on the web and where it all began... and begins)
BACK DOOR
(the back entrance to my world on the web where more bio info can be found)
THE WINDOW
(the window entrance to my world on the web where more local offline info can be found)
My "Keep In Touch" Pages (real life, whatever that is)
(the path to my more personal gardens... journals and open letters to friends)
A Brief Introduction to Anonanonanon (Me)
(the babbler introduces me... need I say more?)
The Great Offline Friend Search
(another introduction, perhaps redundant, perhaps not)
The Written Gardens (where rhymes and letters grow)
(The Crossroads... as close to an index or site map as it gets so far)
Email Group Info (for kids, teens, everybody who enjoys email)
(just in case you don't get enough mail already... or still want more friends)
Another Support for Loneliness (The ASL Website)
(an old project still sleeping)
...a friend is a stranger willing to meet you halfway,
or even come all the way over when necessary...
onward along this path...
LETTER INDEX
GO BACK
GO ON
RUN AWAY!
EMAIL EMAIL