are you my friend?
(Anonanonanon is a babbler)

kinda like "are you my mother?" if you know of the book about the little duck but anyway, I'll think about what I want to say here and come back to say it when I decide what I want to say here... ok, until then, I'll just fill the space explaining that I respect words and myself so I think words that are supposed to introduce me to you should reflect me well... so I think I should think about the words that I place here to represent me well before I just ramble on here entering just any old words without thinking about it much cause there's a lot inside of me and I've never been able to truly introduce myself in just a few words without leaving out tons of useful and useless (but potentially vital, depending on your interest in wanting to know me... and I'm hoping you do want to know me cause if you don't you might be wasting your time reading on, but that's your decision cuz it is your time to do as you please with after all) information... ok?... yeah, well, it's ok by me... ... ... by the way, hi... what brings you here?... bored?... lost?... confused?... wait, you have barely started reading LOL ;) ... ... hope your life is smiling for you and you are smiling for it... ... (recent editorial comment: the bulk of this babble was written years ago, time being relative, so part might be dated {unlike me, lately, but that's another story}... the bottom line is this is still the babblingest introduction I've written since coming online {and still microscopic compared to the babble before the internet, but that's an even sadder and sillier other story}... and ultuimately it does introduce the essense of me (the author?} better than most might (if you can put up with the parenthetic asides)... so feel free to enjoy yourself if you enjoy such babbling, or play with yourself if you don't... graphic photos are optional)... it may help (or not) to know that my original name is childinside on ICQ (though that's not my first online name but then I have many and those are many other stories and this is Anonanonanon's page to play with so there's no telling what telling of which story we might see here once it's give some thought but until then, there's even less chance for order or something resembling an Engish 101 essay of introductory proportions or something like that) cuz (back to the childinside name) I'm usually in touch with the child inside of me (not cause I'm pregnant) and it's the child inside of me (Anon's best friend in this body) who's most looking to communicate, chat, share positive energy, experience and actualize and feel life as much as possible, care about everything, save (or at least improve) the world, solve the riddles of the universe, reach for unreachable stars, tilt at windmills, ride the roller coaster, and otherwise make the most of myself and every moment of this life and find friends who kinda feel similarly and want to share it all (or at least some of it)... really, it's more fun than it may sound *giggle* ... ... ... ... ... ... ... oh, here's something I just thought of, so maybe I'm ready to start introducing myself a little (or maybe I have already, huh?) ... I have been told that I can be "too" serious for some and "too" irreverent for others (I don't believe in focusing on limits, so I'm not "too" anything for me), but generally (seriously, with a smile) I enjoy myself and life and love to help others do it too... ... and actually, there's more irreverence in my seriousness than in most people's irreverence and more seriousness in my irreverence than anyone has cared to dare to explore so far, or is it the other way around... well anyway, ... ... ... I also have been known to have a tendency to babble on and on and on and on and on (which is why the name, Anonanonanon, is appropriate I suppose... though my name comes from Yahoo Chat where Anon is a 4 year old multi-sexual {or is that asexual... depends on my mood I guess} toon {cartoon character, for you over-the-hill adults} which is the stats everybody always seems to want first which is strange since we're in cyberspace and physical stats seem about as meaningless in here as how many fingers I'm holding up right now {i'm not tellin}... anyway, I'm here for the words, when I want to get physical I get physical off line where the physical world is - kinda makes sense to me, ya know?) and on and on and on (babbling, remember?) cause I like to play with words and I find it leads me to all sorts of revelations about myself and all sorts of things that are probably obscure or meaningless to most but may have profound meaning if explored deeper (I think everything does... even typos)... ... ... ... ... ... so anyway, I'll be back to answer frequently asked questions or add or update information when the mood sneaks up and bites me on some vital part of my anatomy, or just when I feel like it... ... ... see ya :) ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Hey... I just stumbled back here (forget I even did this until somebody wrote me about it) ... ok, so there were no questions (I either scared everybody away or answered them all), but I felt like coming back anyway and here's some more about me if you're still reading (I wonder if anybody ever read any of this... oh yes, one person actually did cuz I just got a response :) and besides this is fun... so more about me (still not actually thought out or edited like to really represent me as accurately as I'd like the words to, but heck, the page is here and maybe you'd like to know even if it is a slightly blurry picture {worth a thousand words?} of me)... it's a little like this... I live on an emotional roller coaster... always have... I believe that's what life is about... riding the waves of emotion and trying to not just keep our heads above water, but trying to actually enjoy all of it... the ups the downs the spins and even flying off the tracks (or feeling like drowning, depending on which analogy I mix - or is that a metaphor?... a simile?... well, it makes me simile, ummmm, that is it makes me smile to confuse the conventions of language a bit (a bit?)... well, it's just my bit in keeping the rebellious youth (or something) alive (it's alive!) LAM (by the way, LAM = laughing at myself, in case you wondered... I laugh at myself lots cuz I enjoy myself :) ... and now, with much ado about something and even some futher fanfare, my interests continue here in just case you're interested (or in case of whatever)... ... ... music is the fluid carrying my spirits through my souls and words are the cells forming the bodies of my dreams... I think in rhymes and feel in melodies and seek in life to share in harmonies... I listen (used to play an accordion - yeah, gotta be different LAM... played with a few other instruments like a violin and recorder and triangle, and kinda tried many others at least a few times, but have nothing to play with at the moment... nothing too musical that is... except my voice and I love to sing)... singing is a kind of meditation for me, sometimes peaceful and sometimes a bit off the deep end (yeah, I rock too, so?... sometimes insane, sometimes profound, a list of artists I would not want to be stranded on a desert island without would probably double the babble on this page :) ... anyway, music is inhaling... and I read, I write, I absolutely love words... words are exhaling... maybe it shows (though there are those who might believe I hate words if babble could be considered abusing them LOL :) ... somewhere in this world I have planted written gardens and millions of words have blossomed... more... ummmm, I love to play pool... and swim in one too... and beaches and oceans and woods and pastures and animals and nature... actually, life is my primary interest... words and music are one primary way I experience and express and share life... sharing it (life) as much as possible is my primary desire... caring about it (life again... and people are a large part of life for me... people are alive, ya know?... well... some people at least ;) is my favorite thing to do (caring about life and sharing)... ya see, when I was a very little child inside (and outside too) I found myself very alone in this world and I looked around and asked myself what I wanted... and I answered myself (I think everybody should) and I still want the same thing - to love and be loved, because that's what feels best and I wanted to and still want to feel as good as I can feel... it was that simple then (came upon this revelation at about 3 or 4) and it's still that simple now... though the doing part has gotten a whole lot more complicated (grown ups just seem to forget how)... ... ... ... ... more?... ok, but only for those who are still smiling (or still here, at least)... honesty (a quixotic quest for the whole truth and understanding of everything) and innocence (using the word by my definition, which is 'harmless intent' as opposed to inexperience or ignorance) are my highest ideals... I strive to actualize my ideals in everything I do... curiosity (insatiable) and a desire to love and be loved (mentioned that, huh?... well, it's worth mentioning again ;) are my primary motivations in this life... when I am centered (pass the protractor please... and I may need a compass too), I live in the moment bringing all the lessons and memories of the past into the experience of the present in an attempt to make the most of each moment - and while enjoying each moment to it's fullest, still seeing each moment as but a step on the journey toward actualizing my dreams... it is an ever-changing growing learning experience that actually actualizes my ideals... sometimes it actually works LOL LAM :) ... ... I believe in hiding nothing because I am alive to share and hiding is not sharing... I don't believe in shooting myself in the foot or working against my own desires or dreams... and hiding is a step toward lieing and that complicates everything and violates my highest ideal and well, I'd just as soon not get all that complex LOL (though maintaining child-like innocence and honesty in this world might seem pretty complex at times), so I do my best to hide nothing... all that to say, anything you want to know, ask (I see myself as an open book... your questions turn the pages :) ... ... ... and now, rhymetime for the child... ... ... so few understand the child inside, with eyes and heart open so wide, who finds a smile within the pain, and sees the sunshine in the rain... so few seem to comprehend, the child just looks to be a friend, to share hugs with Dick or Jane, and share dances in the rain... so few seem to understand, the child holds out an open hand, and some say fool, some say insane, he sees sunshine in the rain... so few listen to the child inside, who enjoys life's roller coaster ride, who's simple words try to explain, cuz silly... sunshine makes the rain ... (ya see, it's like this... the sun makes the water in the oceans and lakes and rivers and streams and puddles and all the water in the whole world hot and that starts (hot start?) the water evaporating (like steam or fog) and then the water turns into clouds and then the clouds rise up into the sky and get cold cuz it's cold way up in the sky and when the clouds get cold the clouds turn back into water drops and water drops are too heavy to stay way up in the sky so the water drops drop and fall back to the ground and that's rain so ya see... the sunshine makes the rain) ... LOL . . . LAM . . . LOL . . . LAM . . . LAWH {laughing all the way home} . . . ;) ... ... ... hello :) ... I suppose I should learn some HTML codes or something to give this page a little formatting (I did learn a little and just stopped by here to mention that, though I am not gonna change the format of this page cuz I don't have time these days... but I do have other pages now and you can get to them by clicking on the links below which takes you home (not your home, my home) or you could do it the long way by cutting and pasting this URL: http://home.att.net/~candor (or clicking, but click later or you'll miss something... I don't know what, but in case you didn't notice {or fell asleep} this isn't over yet) and following links you find there and I hope you do and tell me what you think and feel in as much detail as possible cuz I tend to like and appreciate detail as you may have noticed ;) ... my home on the web is kinda messy and doesn't access the much of the gardens yet, but eventually I hope to find time and editorial assistance (the dream continues) and maybe even re-discover the lost gardens (another very long story for a whole other time and page) and return to the pleasures of creation and... well... at least the surface has been scratched... barely... and speaking of the links below, I don't turn on ICQ these days (these days being 1998, almost 1999 now {told you it was dated, it's around 2002 now... I turn on ICQ less now than I did then} or whenever) cuz I have no time to chat and barely time for email on weekends {work, work, work... am I getting duller? :} but still want to chat eventually -and- on another link-below related topic, that chat room link "The Lounge" is not *my* chat room, but rather the Hot Start Site chat room... see, this Hot Start place (is defucnt, forget this useless information after processing it thoroughly) is a kind of communication network I guess {I found them through ICQ and you can get ICQ info and help and search for other ICQ users and you can check it out by going to http://hotstart.com and I don't know why there's no "main page" link but then maybe I like that they don't force themselves on people visiting me here (which is why I liked it... but also why it's defunct I guess) or maybe the hot start white pages is the main point of this place anyway :} so it {this babble, in case you're wondering what the "it" refers to ;} might be easier to read (I was mentioning HTML, I think, but the point may be moot {like that might stop me from rambling on about it?} as this site {the now defunct site you can forget about} doesn't accept HTML codes anyway) and then it won't seem like such non-stop babble (cuz it really isn't... well... sorta it isn't ;) ... but then again, I still haven't really taken the time to concentrate and edit the words yet and besides maybe there is no formatting these pages (I think not)... I guess you'll just have to decide whether you want to know me or not based on this huge block of words, huh?... or the other pages... or you could flip a coin... or ask a complete stranger on the street... well, anyway, it's your decision and I'm gonna stop for now (wake up, it's time to browse on) and hope you enjoy it all (even the typos :) ... and so... ... ... ... see ya :) MAIN GATE Candor Communications    ©1997, 2002