( to be continued . . . to be continued . . . to be continued . . . to be continued . . . to be continued . . . to be continued . . . to be continued . . . to be continued . . . to be cont )
THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... I HOPE...
HOME, HOME ON THE WEB
you made it! J . . . hi and welcome J
through no fault of your own (maybe), you have stumbled upon the web homes of anonanonanon, childinside, sysquash, newsbee, webbot, and ummmm, and other literary personae used by the author (me) to interact with creative muses through words... nobody's home at the moment (or maybe they're just playing hide-n-go-seek, but feel free to wander around n' leave a message at the click of this link J
HEY ORLANDO!... YOU OUT THERE?... ONLINE?... SAY HELLO J
ok, you will miss much of the babbling (and the continuity of the flow of the words as they pour out),
but you can click on these links and jump to parts of this front page that might change a bit more often J
DEAR EVERYONE CURRENT EVENTS FRONT LINES COMING SOON COMMERCIAL
... this perculiar web world was last updated April 1, 2003 ...
(this Front Page updated as you are reading this)
(actually, this page was updated on April 1, 2003, but it really should be re-written one of these days... still, it is representative of the potential babbling inside of me and has more links to more of my web world than any other page so if you read it all and follow it all you might start getting to know me a little and you are most welcome... or you more might be completely crazy, in which case you are in the right place and very welcome too)
...been here, done this?... just wanna know what's new?
(please note that the what's new page needs updating... so does much of this site and that is still what's new... current events will tell you more)
though this is the babbling way to know me, you can find more concise clues to who is behind all these words by choosing the right links along the way... my want list reflects what I want (reality, what a concept) in the real offline world... current events take you to real-time happenings in this life I loosely call mine... and for music lovers, there are about a zillion references to song lyrics that hold profound meaning for me in these babbles and I figure the more you find, the closer you are to whatever this is really all about (and maybe even knowing me, if that's one of your goals in life... you could join in in my quest cuz it sure is one of mine) J anyway... this is my web world where I share part of my written gardens, the literary sanctuary and creative playground (and not to mention therapist couch) I use to remain a happy child in this cold, cruel world... welcome to my life... the show this is what I want today, in case you're interested in knowing TOP |
NEW CURRENT EVENTS . . . o O ( OTHER STUFF IN REAL LIFE ) O o . . . GUESTBOOK!... yes, there is no longer not a guest book, though there was not one for a while as you'll see below (I still haven't updated this yet, and though many links have been changed, hundreds more still need changing, eventually)... and you can still send a message to (or even join) the ever expanding universe of online groups that are great ways to get to know me or others wonderful people or yourself, even... DIARY!... yes, you can read my diary for what it's worth... well, it might be mine, and it might be based on real life, but then, that is real life, anyway?... candora wants attention, so this little diary went to market J JOURNAL!... what, a diary isn't enough?... of course not... mostlydead joins our family of online characters and if you enjoy reading the struggles of the mostly dead (who are very much among us), this whining, self-pathetic lament may be for you... hopefully, with just the right amount of subtle digs and inspirational humours (whatever they are), you might like (or relate to, however reluctantly) this sardonic irreverence... it may be me, it may not, but it isn't Steven Wright J CANDOR!... what?... who's journal is this?... well, it bears a very familiar name and just might be, but then, you oughta know by not (and by now too) that the closer you get to the center of the core, the more obscure it may appear (just checking to see who's really paying attention, ya know)... but seriously (when wasn't I?), if you really care about candor, all of us here at the institute will very much appreciate it (and you) J LTTN!... it's been written that all secrets are told in letters to the night... all I know is, though they haven't been uploaded yet, they are being written... and the excitement continues to build... so stay tuned J MEETUP!... just the best thing to happen to cyberspace ever J THEME PARKS!... ORLANDO LINKS!... ORLANDO PARTIES!... (still current, though ongoing... see OLD CURRENT EVENTS just below)... WANT LIST... well, I still want stuff... not just things exactly, stuff... well, not just stuff exactly either... just read for yourself to understand... but then, to understand, you may have to actually know me... then again, that may be an impossible dream... and should probably be first on my list (yes, so I made a list), cuz I believe... I'm not the only one J OLD CURRENT EVENTS . . . o O ( BUT STILL ALIVE AND KICKING ) O o . . . GUESTS GROUP... you'll see below that there's no longer a guestbook (in spite of hundreds of links that need changing, eventually)... but you can send a message to me and the world with this new guestbook just like an email message, just send it to candorguests@yahoogroups.com and you can read the messages and use other web features there too... SLAMBOOK!... at least it's still cooking... why stop at a guestbook?... this can be a lot more fun (and revealing, umm, your move)... it's like a questionnaire with a twist... an attitude... a few screws loose (at least) J so you know... SIGN MY SLAMBOOK! and VIEW MY SLAMBOOK! and above all else no matter what you say or write or do, have fun dammit! J EMAIL GROUPS!... new (and old) email groups for locals make it even easier to meet and find compatible friends in the area... and more new email groups for everybody makes it even more fun online... check em J RESUME!... I'm working, but open to advancement so please pass along my resume anywhere hiring management (any field) or just tell me about any level jobs you find in any creative field (work for nuts if I love it) J THEME PARKS!... we live in Orlando and ya know, the playgrounds are amazing... and I finally have annual passes to all the big theme parks so if you wanna come out to play in the parks with a toon, call me J ORLANDO LINKS!... if you have a website or page about Orlando or Central Florida or you live here and have a website (or found a good one), let me know about it and it'll be added to the local links page J ORLANDO PARTIES!... and you're all invited (no matter where you are) (of course there is the distinct possibility that being here might help) J GUESTBOOK!... this page remains on hold... as does my original JOURNAL... big business doesn't care and not enough time and nobody to organize with, those are my excuses and I'm sticking with them... WANT LIST... well, I made a list of things I want... well, not just things exactly, stuff... well, not just stuff exactly either... you'll just have to read for yourself to understand... well, to understand, you may have to know me... then again, that very well may be an impossible dream... |
and now begins the ever changing, sometimes elucidating, and occasionally immaculate babble (thought it did already, huh?... well, once upon a time, or maybe twice, this is where the whole thing began {or was it, oh wait, we'll get to that} and then, the union tried to organize, but that's a whole 'nother story, the results of which you can see unfolding before yours eyes)... ya see?... it's changing right before your eyes... or mine... and well, it will, just give it time (what is time, anyway?)... tell you what, step away for just a few moments and do something for yourself (we won't tell)... in fact, take a break from this computer screen for a bit (or byte)... fix yourself a frosty mug of chocolate milk or something... go for a walk... treat yourself to some exquisitely pleasurable personal experience (what, chocolate milk wasn't enough?... can I watch?)... oh come on, loosen up... heck, do it for a week or few (could you stand it?... there's always hope)... anyway, when you get back there's a relatively moderate chance that this babble will actually change, virtually right before your eyes (like poof, ya know?)... and maybe it already did, when you only thought your were watching but were really not... you stand on the precipice, close to the edge (are we living on it?)... you are faced with a choice, perhaps a dilemma... before you is a vast universe of whatever may be, dare you look over the edge?... or (eeek), leap?... if you understand, then you may actually be ready to move on... if not, well, ummmm, yeah, uh-oh (it only gets deeper from here) J . . . o O ( ready to suspend reality with me? ) O o . . . sadly (or not, depending upon your point of view and ability to manipulate your mind), if you chose quick links you may (or not, cuz here you are, now aren't you?) already be missing out on many subtle (not everything's a cold brick in the eye) changes and points (or dull spots) of interest (like this one) that might explain a lot (or not)... and then again, you may just miss out on more information (can you read?) to add to your confusion (ok, let's see a show of hands... who's confused?)... your mind will decide... this thing you are doing (and you thought your were just reading?) is an interactive creative experience in progress (should you choose to participate, you will be notified when your turn comes along)... you participate by choosing where you want to go and responding as you wish, just like in realy life (amazing, huh?... yeah, well do not let the sarcasm fool you, there is intense depth and meaning behind {and beneath... and between... and off to the side as well} my rather odd sense of humors... or humours, perhaps)... the risks you take in your choices on your journey are your own (but don't worry, I love to share so you're only as alone as you want to be)... some pages may offend you, some pages may amuse you, some pages may upset you, some pages may confuse you... some may do all of the above and aside and more (oh, those must be special, huh?)... the babble explains everything (life and the universe too) eventually (really it does), you just need to find the answers you seek (you are a seeker, your eyes are growing heavy, well mine are, but that could be the drugs) amongst all the words and voices and giggles (and parentheses) and what you want to believe is true, false, teasing, serious, or whatever (your mind is the ultimate guide and {shudder} you are in control, even if nobody told you) J as the web gate says, this web world is for word lovers (what, would I lie?... only unintentionally, or intentionally if I was teasing, or sometimes when I am serious and playing a role in a play or something, but never truly meaningfully from the heart... nope, the heart will not lie here... it may rest from time to time, but never lie)... and that is just the first compatibility you'll find here (if you are a word lover, that is, and if you do not lie, that is another)... the fact remains (for readers and writers alike), that the more you dare to open your mind to the possible, the more you give yourself up to the creative play of words (or any creative medium, small or large)... and the more you play, the more may find and create on your individual journey... and when what is real merges with fantasy, you may be getting closer to the author (who?) behind the curtain (shhhhh, pay no attention)... and your little dog too (remember the musical references mentioned earlier?... well there are other references from arts and sciences and academies far beyond the scope of mortal man, but you'll have to get up pretty darn earl (and pretty goldang close} to get a peak under that particular cape... the essense is in the ether, grasshopper) J but just in case you came from a connections or meeting people type website (I'm listed on almost every one I've ever found) and you want to know me (speaking of real life, if there is such a thing), you will find less babbling (oh really?) and more info about me (well, at least more info about me) if you go through the window (not the screen) or if you aren't Katie Holmes (or Meg Ryan, or Janeane Garofalo or Mila Kunis or Sandra Bullock or Neve Campbell or Nicole Deboer or... off on a tangent again, am I?... well, even if you don't want to climb in my window or share my bed, for that matter), the back door (where we can share a cup of cocoa or something at the kitchen table (more uncharted webspace I've reserved)... but seriously, people, if you really want to know... the window is the path where the newest stuff that is focusing on finding friends in the offline world is supposed to be found.... revisions in the links are obviously necessary (as the current events above should suggest if you are paying attention)... and this (focusing on finding life offline) is why I'm not online as much as I used to be in case you're looking for me online... like I haven't turned on ICQ in years (installing the latest version, 2002b, I think, crashed my whole system, the little laptop that could, couldn't) and now I don't even have access to ICQ, but I might soon... and I check email only sporadically, though if you call I will give you a mailbox of your own and check yours whenever I am online)... locals should call {at least so you can rest your eyes}... and if you're not local and aren't visiting soon, the rest of this web world has had lots added as well so I sincerely hope you enjoy your journey through this world of words (cuz they aren't out here just for ego, believe it or not, no matter what ego might suggest)... for the moment, reading these web pages {especially the rambling journals found through the window} or calling may be the only way to actually keep in touch with me (though recently though diary/journals with their comments and notes and guestbook and stuff have been getting more attention) and I dearly hope you understand and will {keep in touch, that is}... cuz there's always hope) J anyway, to probably over-emphasize and potentially belabor the point beyond cuteness or the average tolerance level of humanity (but not you, dear readers, not you... and that is why I love you so... but we'll not turn this into a mush-fest just yet), I conclude this window washing portion of this babbling introduction by pointing out, like they do in Dawson's Creek (and should probably do in Smallville, Roswell, The Twilight Zone and X-Files, and over at Buffy's house), friends and would be lovers (and occasionally something really strange, but still exciting, even if it's not dancing by the light of the moon, silvery or whatever) come through the window (and for some, it will always be open)... the back door, on the other hand, leads to some more formal biographical babblings and stuff that's not as much current event or time frame oriented... when all is said and done, I guess we can call the back door kinda like a bio (still public) and the window more like a diary (more private)... but even there, the creative muses have the great influence on this literary journey... what is real what is fantasy who are you which is me so many pages so many clues creative muses or real life news?... I'll leave it for you to choose (but choose later or you'll miss all the rest of this page) in other words (or even the same), I shall leave it to you (and for you) to decide what is real and what is fantasy as you wander through these words... and as you come into my life should you decide to share more personally, on or off line... yes that's right, you are free to decide which is my voice and which are voices of ghost writers and characters and toons (did I mention Anonanonanon is related to Wacko, Yacko, and Dot?... yeah, there were other sibs, just like the Marx Brothers) and others who wish to share words here (or don't, care that is, but allow me to) and what is actually reflections of the author real life... there are paths in these gardens that are pure fiction and paths that are based on personal physical-world experience and paths based on others experiences or fantasies... and other stuff too... presentation is part of the creative process (like when is a journal not really a journal?... or are the books a lot of people call holy works of epic fiction?... and like, who is more real, Dr. Seuss, Shakespeare, Jesus, or Peter Pan?), especially when emotional or creative collaborations are involved (and add in people, the human factor, and you never know what might happen)... and then again, the author may have written every word only to present this riddling disclaimer for your amusement or other reasons... huh?... what?... where?... why?... how?... oh, sumdinigy!... but that would be telling J |
WE INTERRUPT THIS HOMEPAGE FOR SOME ................................................................................................................................................. . . . SPECIAL REPORTS FROM THE WEBSITE FRONT LINES . . . (actually this is old news, but it's history and history is important so pay attention) REALLY SUCKY NEWS... the old website that was in the process of being moved has been re-moved, as in deleted, erased, obliterated from the face of the web... this kind servies was done without notification by the wonderful people at Disney, Inc... so all the links to the old site, including the entire 1998 and 1999 journals and personal pages, are gone... poof, pffft, kapoot... THE GUESTBOOK DIED... actually, it was murdered (collective oh my)... another big corp taking a freebie away without telling... this time it was the fine folk at Lycos who decided to stop offering the deluxe guestbook I was using without telling me... so the site hasn't had a guestbook in six months and signers have click into oblivion (what's a toon to do?)... well, this... INNOCENCE DEFILED... yes, another too-big-for-its-britches web corp pulled a plug without notice... this was the former online group called innocence dedicated to exploring the inspiration and wonder the word represents... it's too sad for a toon to tell, so go ask newsbee for the story... IFFY COUNTERS?... the hit counters from BeSeen, a Looksmart Company were screwing up royally for a while and then they came back and then they disappeared... so all the counters are gone... I'm shopping around for new counters, well, not really, it's like umpteeth on my list of things to do but I would like to have easy to access and read traffic reports (not to mention ego who'd like to see lots of numbers)... so feel free to offer suggestions... still worse now... as you wander about you will find that the old site is gone (remember the really sucky news from a minute ago?)... re-construction and linkage will be worked on just as soon as time permits (permits?... we don't need no stinkin' permits!)... toons can't help it... ok, so anyway, now more than ever I'd really appreciate any missing-link reports you send in... still chaos... well, not that chaos is anything new... this web world remains in a state of perpetual chaos cuz of the move and rugs pulled out from under it so wander about as you wish (as you wish... ah, will you find me?)... and this page will be updated a lot in relatively constantly to hopefully guide (or is that confuse) you a bit more... so have fun let me know whatcha think, ok? J ~ ~ and now back to the homepage already in progress ~ ~ (one of these days I'll update these frontline reports, just be patient) |
and once upon a time, this is where this page began if you like rhymes, poems, and creative writing ... take a walk along the paths in The Written Gardens (Main Entrance) (and I finally revised the CROSSROADS found there and now it is the virtual site map with a link to every section and some other odd pages in this web world (I think), so check it out) J there (in the written gardens, which is kinda what I call all of the writings I do and others I collect) you'll find some of the stuff that keeps me awake at nights (and some days... though I am naturally nocturnal... throughout most of this life I've stayed awake most nights, these days especially since I work a night shift... it just fits me) and what I do with the time most people use for sleeping (even when I am not working nights, I'm wide awake at 4AM without a soul in sight... hanging on the hope that I'm alright)... words and music, for starters... as if you haven't noticed by now, you'll find lyrical references through my babbling... you could impress me (or seduce me, well, maybe, I have a very protective libido... or just make friendly conversation) by naming some (maybe some I don't even realize are there) J you could (ya really should ya know) check out (and bookmark, s'il vous {et tu too, ummmm, aussi} plais {plait... ain't grammar grand?... a grand pain in la derriere}... if this is one of your favorites, we really ought to meet to figure out why when they let you out of the padded room) the newest new entrances (and of course new paths and webspaces created and to be created) leading into this home on the web... the newest are the diary/journals at public sites like Diaryand and Live Journal and you'll find links to them somewhere on this page or on the site map page (the . . . o O ( omigosh, are you following any of this? ) O o . . . we were discussing new entrances, I believe... one is now the NEW MAIN GATE (well, it's still the main gate, but it's been around a long time so it's not exactly new anymore)... but at least this web world has a starting point, a beginning, a rudimentary fundamentality and all... you know, the big bang, the opening door, the moment or creation, it's the first step... the goddamzilla, the double chinchlla, the weeping whipporwilla, the bedrock, pebbles, dino, fred, wilma, barney, and betty all rolled into one... the french poodle, the stiff noodle, the wiggle waddle, the floored throttle, the king kong, the great gong, the ding dong, miss thangs thong... oh, the main squeeze, the cream cheese, bees knees, dogs fleas, the secret tease... yeah, it's the axle grease, the sweet release, the golden fleece, the world peace... . . . o O ( what? ) O o . . . it's the new world webgate (oddly called the world of candor by some)... of course the OLD MAIN GATE is no longer new, in fact, it's no longer there... just another one of those servers that changed policies without letting anybody know, well, at least I didn't get the memo... and since, as was mentioned earlier, the old website was destroyed by the caring folk at Disney and most of the links from the old gate lead to the old site, it really doesn't matter much except that it's one more reason to wonder how to find any server that can be trusted... anyway, never mind all that since the place to start is the NEW MAIN GATE as it is the only main gate (that makes any sense, right?... that is, if any of this makes sense to you at all)... anyway, the site is still kinda like a matrix (oracle?)... or very much a maze J so to review (in case you weren't paying attention or were distracted by something more interesting or confused by the babble or just needed a break and somehow your computer continued scrolling down the page), if you want to know something about the author, try THE BACK DOOR to explore more biographically oriented babble... and if you'd like to come closer and be more familiar with the various aspects of this being called me (especially if you'd like to connect closer and meet offline), climb in through WINDOW (not the bathroom window, mind you, where she came in through and all... unless you have the proverbial silver spoon {that's not just any silver spoon, mind you}, in which case, I hope you have some creamy pudding or ice cream to share, because a spoon without something creamy and chocolately is kind of a waste... preferably chocoholic chocolate... sweet milk chocolate fidge would be real nice... did I mention I am a chocoholic?... did I mention I sometimes get lost in parentheses yet?... if not, remind me to let you know I some time that I sometimes get lost in parentheses... it happens from time to time... and did I mention I sometimes get lost in redundancy?... I probably will sooner or later... oh, and did I mention that I get lost in tangential parentheses?... yeah well did I mention that the tangential parentheses can come to an end as suddenly as it began and when the inevitable parenthetic closure finally comes along, the sentence they interrupted continues along as if nothing happened?) for a more current-life oriented (or maybe you'd like to take a peek at what's behind the curtain at the moment {what is this an old TV deal show?... or maybe it's one of the curtains of different colours} for a moment of reflection or just go on reading {my first choice} and see what happens) view of the experience irreverently called life... if you really care and want to share more you could simply call (yeah really) or just come on over and start talking and see what we can make of it all (with or without parentheses)... reach out... reach out and touch someone... why not me? J I guess for some of you, all these new paths are getting old or confusing, huh? (oh really?)... I do have new paths slipping into the gardens all over the place... wow organization?... a-mazing, huh? (baby, baby, can you hear my giggling) J I not only slide musical references and lyrics into the babble semi-consciously (yes, I know I mentioned that, but this is babble so there are no rules and besides, I do have another point to make about it), but I also paraphrase a lot of lyrics too (if you haven't noticed by now, where have you been the last zillion words?... if you have, how many have you named?... wanna play a music trivia game?... no?... well then, how about profoundly amazing sex?... ok, share some deep thoughts?)... . . . o O ( as if anybody out of the musical loop could ) O o . . . most of the newest paths are still in somewhere the pipe as I've not been updating anywhere consistently for a while, but you can get an idea of the yin, yang, and yo of late (since the daily journal is way behind)... I still haven't mapped out all the paths in this babble (though almost all of them are mapped at the crossroads linked above) and I have yet to bring an entrance to this page, so this is an entrance or sorts unto itself... the front page, like the old film reference I guess... this one obviously baffled the editors... you could take this new path, which is still accurate reflection of me even though it was new quite some time ago, and see where it leads (it was new once though, and really it still represents me and what I'm doing here as well if not better than any other... I wonder... am I failing in my attempt to bring you positive and entertaining web content?... have I lost my audience?... did I ever have an audience?... do you really think anonanonanon, who does most of the babbling here is even aware of an audience?... oh dear me, dear readers... but child knows you're out there and sends a big hug... and maybe we'll find something new {and maybe you'll inspire me to write another letter of introduction or to friends that will create another new path to me... it's been a while since I took the time} if you let me know you want something new and even read this)... I still mean what I meant the last time, I am just trying to say hello and there's no telling what I'll start rambling about once I do (say hello, that is)... hello?... . . . o O ( is anybody in there? ) O o . . . |
~ ~ COMING ~ ~ SOON ~ ~ COMING ~ ~ SOON ~ ~ (MAYBE IF I PUT IT HERE I'LL ACTUALLY REMEMBER TO DO IT?) yup it is... it will... it still coming soon, yes it is, uh-huh... uh-huh... just like xmas... soon it'll be coming... the new great old friend search... or the new old great friend search... well, it's gonna happen, trust me... I'm gonna be scouring databases and paying off IRS agents and infiltrating the CIA (that's right, you can't hide)... I'm gonna find ya... some email groups are one way I'm trying (finally, huh?... there's more in the works for here)... hear that Canarsie?... Toronto?... Orlando?... Party? J so if you ever knew me in any way, you might as well just give yourself up now and save the government (not to mention you and your fellow taxpayers a lot of money)... or we could just enjoy the anticipation and excitement that continues to build... so what else is coming?... you? J any minute now (famous last words) I will almost certainly wake up again J ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TOP |
there is still more to come (and more to share), lot's more actually, but you must be ready for a break by now so go ahead and take one and I'll just ramble on while you're gone... don't worry, the words will be here when you get back... so where were we?... there are tons of ideas on the blackboard of my mind (and some light ones too)... a major revision to this page might be in order (seems to be happening as we read)... I suppose I should save past incarnations for posterity or something, huh? (posterity likes the past... and archives too... so does newsbee)... and what's a newsbee?... gazing into my crystal ball, I see (big build-up and all) that NEWSBEE'S UNIVERSE started evolving from the cosmic cyber ooze (newsbee likes big bangs) and though newsbee and buddy webbot have been pretty quiet, there's still a lot there and a lot more in the pipe... that's where newsbee (who buzzes around newsgroups and other public type places occasionally making speeches, but mostly observing and slipping serious silliness or obscure profundities into other people's discussion) hangs out (that's why it was named for him, ya know?) with lots of anonymous online friends and strangers (some silent, even) and maybe even an ex-lover or two... and there we'll find some letters to strangers, the land of ah, radfae forest, planet aret, the village of asl, rantsville, webbot's world, layla's world, the mailbox, and other odd (and even, even) places (all linked at the crossroads) based primarily and predominently on the quintissentially enigmatic newsbee's public conversations, relatively unpredictable babblings, and an assortment of selected responses (real, imaginary, and especially in the vast spaces of the infinite in-between... being anonanonanon's long lost brother can be fun) J . . . o O ( so what else is new? ) O o . . . for a little while (until a so-called friend betrayed me and stole thousands of dollars worth of stuff including the old computer that had {shudder} several years of the written gardens on it... that is what hurts the most... cuz even when poor, stuff is replaceable), I was waking up and reaching back into the archives of that now gone old computer, trying to find and put back the pieces of the hundreds of thousands of pages of the past written gardens (alas, there were several major disasters before the last betrayal from which the gardens have yet to be fully recovered... remember Toronto? {wanna cry?... later}... anyway, a tiny fraction, like less than one percent of one percent) actually made it on to the web and most of it is from a somewhat depressed period of this life (yes, this is me depressed, scary huh?) and adding here and there... before the crash of 2001 (which is what we will call it for now), some of the writings from the early years where some of the few pages that weren't lost along the way can be found... hopefully more will turn up... yeah... and some serious thoughts about the world out there actually popped out around election time (toons can have opinions about stuff too... don't worry, it didn't last long... at least not for a while... of course there are bits of seriousness everywhere because there is more seriousness in my irreverence than the world will ever know {and more irreverence in my seriousness than the world will ever want to know}... there, I said it again for the first time)... some seriousness about the world and life and stuff appears in my journals (there are four primary dailies, at least four specialty occasionalies, a weekly, a monthly, and some others... but only a few are actually of the four dailies are being kept up to date these days... due to lack of inspiration and time, perhaps, wanna do something about it?... you care?)... anyway, without a family or significant other (all I ever needed was the one) I don't take life or anything all that seriously... I mean, what's the point?... it's not like I'm some saint or savior or something special the world couln't do without... but if you really want to read some political babbling or find some political info, addresses, telephone numbers, or links, just go check out (or check in to) Webbot's World... as you might have expected if you've gotten to know me, politics got old real fast... but the new email groups (often called mailing lists) page continues to expand and now lists more groups than I'll ever be able to keep up with (so co-moderators and anyone interested in helping facilitate group communications are very wecome and encouraged to pop up and take a leading role... please, help!... you always wanted to fascilitate group discussions, didn't you?)... there are groups for fun, for serious emotional discussions, for creativity, for help, for people who care, even for people who don't care... my hope is the email groups will bring people together online and offline to share fun and serious stuff and and help each other... hey, maybe I am still trying to save the world in some ways... yeah, ok, well there's a whole separate path to local email groups for Orlando that will hopefully bring new friends into my offline life (while giving Central Florida people find others with similar interests)... behind all this happy-go-lucky babble, there is a real person who would like to find more fun offline (I am not always a manic toon... I am, in my secret identity, a caring friend and good listener... heck, just take a look at my resume, but don't tell the peanut gallery, ok?... sheesh, dontcha ever get lonely?)... . o O ( what?... don't go getting all real and mushy on us now ) O o . ok, where were we?... well, I think I was trying to say hello and introduce you to this web world and maybe even give you some idea of who I might be and if you're still reading you must want to know... or else you must be very very bored... anyway, there's gonna be a more frequently updated links section (how long have I been saying that?... well, there are a few links pages already... and the primary journal has new links every day, when it's updated... so progress does happen, even when I am dragging my fingers... yes, this new millenium (anybody remember that?) is gonna see major expansion here... like Disneyworld (which is unfortunately run by Disney, Inc.), always building something new... or re-building something old... and the friends section... one of these days, the friends section will arrive... and what else?... message board?... chat room?... web cam?... anyway, more to come, and more announcements about it too... did somebody say GUESTBOOK? J yes, finally this web world has a GUESTBOOK and you can SIGN or VIEW it, but you won't see much if everybody VIEWS and nobody SIGNS, ya know? J actually, it's a guest group... the guest book is somewhere else... so SIGN the GUEST GROUP dangit! J and then... SIGN the SLAMBOOK!... what's a SLAMBOOK!, you might ask... well, it's a bunch of questions you can answer (or not answer, but it's much more fun if you answer)... and you can VIEW the SLAMBOOK! before you sign, but if nobody signs there's nothing to view so I sure do hope you SIGN the SLAMBOOK! |
WE INTERRUPT THIS HOMEPAGE FOR ANOTHER IMPORTANT MESSAGE if all you had to do to feed a hungry child was click on a link, would you? 
...we now return you to your journey still in progress... "I know when a child is hurting that the silence can be wrong I know when old folks are helpless I can't just pass along and I know when someone's hungry I can't just sing this song and when I hear somebody crying I can't just wonder who that it could be well, I hear somebody crying now..." ~ Harry Chapin ~ TOP sigh... thank you Harry... few humans have become consistent or long term heroes for me... he is as close as anyone outside of fiction has come... he lived a life of giving his time and energy and money to others... he entertained and he educated... he influenced and helped people all over the world... he relentlessly spoke out for human values and social causes long before they became popular... and most humbly, at least half the time, as a beautiful old song says, he gave it away for free... . . . o O ( phew ) O o . . . and ok, now, well, sorta (returning to the journey in progress, that is)... sometimes it isn't easy to stay positive, no less happy and cheerful in this world... humans do some pretty stupid and harmful things... it can be very depressing to be serious and aware of everything... when I take a serious look at this world, I cringe at much of the human actions... and how we ignore those hurting... it makes the child inside of me cry... and it makes me wish I had the power to change things... maybe you have more than you need or some way to help someone who needs help... if you do, please let me know because I personally know families and children in crisis who could really use your help... I don't want to ignore the serious messes in this world, but... here in this home on the web I am trying to create a positive experience for myself and for you... I'd like to inspire your smile... so, before Sysquash growls too much... Anonanonanon to the rescue!... . . . o O ( with an exclamation point yet ) O o . . . ummmm... ok, so like now I'm suppose to just simply return casually to carefree happy silly (my own brand of silly, of course... I'll get there, just give me a minute (theres still some more deeper more personal sighing to do)... there's lots of seriousness tossed into {often in disguise} for extra flavour) the mind-tickling babbling without missing much of a beat and I am just crazy (or is that creative?... sit down ego, the arousing applause you hear is all in your mind) enough to do it (ya think?)... well, as I was saying (I was saying it, really, sighing it too), this is my message in a bottle, my creative and personal hello to the universe... a while back I attempted to say hello again to friends, old and new... I really ought to come up with something more recent, but recently I've been living in a more uncomfortable limbo again and that makes consistent updating personal writing more challenging... but then, overall, I've been sluggishly sliding through limbo for years now and the writing definitely shows that (ironically, almost all that's on the web is from this ill defined and very distracted limbo period and for whatever self-assessment is worth, it is not my best writing period)... anyway, this limbo has been dragging on since Toronto (but I was heading there before then even)... looking for the right one... staying a rolling stone until she comes along (or until I roll into her)... anyway, if you really want to know me you might start in the letters to friends garden or more currently, as deep as you'd like to go (or as close as you'd like to come) the keep in touch pages... there's always this new path, which is actually updated kinda regularly... it still is most specifically for people who are interested in knowing me and hopefully meeting offline and becoming friends... I mean, there is life offline, ya know?... deeper still, though life is much better than it was in many ways, I am still challenging myself with much discomfortable and I'm still hearing those dang old whipporwills... sigh... (line skipped for dramatic effect) . . . yes, feeling the deep loneliness that comes from not sharing everything with that magical the one (soulmates apply here) is part of me as I refuse to turn off the sensitivity and I refuse to settle for less than my dreams... anybody in Orlando understand?... I'm still looking for friends offline, in case you're in the area... or anywhere... so ok, like anyway and casually returning to the business of babbling on this front page... eventually, this page will have even more different paths to choose from (like a house with many doors... and it is happening as you hopefully see) that each lead through the gardens differently, but it's still and probably always will be kind of a wilderness so you'll just have to wander through as best you can... and until I find the right guide (really?) or mapmaker... there's even the new what's new page as you may have noticed... but still the gardens main entrance index-type thing may be as close to organized as I've gotten so far... Wacko keeps coming by to draw some lines and play with mud and Pinky brought some more lint and fluffy things and we call it a map... but it still looks more like a list of words... so maybe we should consider calling it a table of contents until a real live friendly JAVA the hut PERL of a graphics oriented web page genius-type finally arrives (or is created)... NEWS FLASH!... if you haven't been to the Crossroads (aka Gardens Index or Entrance) recently, it was pretty radically revamped, dude (dude?... it's late)... just about every garden with an index is listed now and even more, a whole lot of the gardens in progress and on the drawing board are listed (for ye who love to know more... where ye be, anywho?)... Wacko and Pinky and most of the other toons are ooooing and ahhhing at how organ-eyezd this web place is getting J and quite suddenly here is... |
Dear Stranger... you sent me an email and when I responded, the address was returned undeliverable... if you want to communicate, send a valid email address, k?... till tomorrow... honest love, ric ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ AND NOW... BACK TO THE HOMEPAGE STILL IN PROGRESS ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ |
maybe you're interested who I am... who am I?... well, the mystery (mystory?) has been unravelling for a long time... archeologists discovered hieroglyphics that translated into A Brief Introduction to Anonanonanon, loosely... it appears to be basic bio, written from anon's perspective... anon (who seldom uses capital letters except for fun or to announce something or just kinda randomly, much like child and newsbee) is a very real imaginary part of me that kinda represents the free association babbling and believes firmly that anything can happen (and does if we want it to) and all things can be positive so don't worry, be happy, and enjoy the show... anon, short for anonanonanon, is childinside's best friend and was so named due to a tendency to babble on and on and on and on and on anonanonanon (get it?)... so if you haven't already (or it's been a while), this might be a good time for you to visit the potty, get some snacks and a tall drink, and pull up a comfy chair if you're into any of those kind of things J GIGGLES HO! anonanonanon has an email group now... the toon isn't always there (ph yes he is, he's just waiting for Godot or somebody to notice), but if you want to hear the latest babblings and excitement and stuff, well, you're in luck... yes, you can be one of the first to inhabit the anonanonanon group... a shortcut would be to send a blank email to anonanonanon's secretary at egroups and she'll slide you right through the mail slot just cuz you were coool enough to read all this babble again... yay! J if you have less time, you can read a letter to a new friend that attempts to share the stuff that makes me who I am in, well, a letter to a new friend J or if you do have time and want to know me more personally (and you want to find another way in besides the back door and window), you could ask and I'll answer as soon as I find the mail... the window actually leads to (eventually) a place I call my "Keep In Touch" pages for a closer to event-oriented view of the story of a life as I'm experiencing it (recent events only so far)... umm, warning?... Anon's influences can definitely be seen there too, so expect some long and winding tangential delays as you read through these pages as they've grown a bit... mastering the art of understatement as usual, actually they've kinda exploded exponentially over time... the KIT pages started as kinda a monthly series of open letters to friends to keep in touch, but now include all sorts of babbling about offline stuff like worklife (which turned into a relatively weekly update about work... sometimes... when I'm not working there are lifetimes... lifetimes has to be mostly babble cuz there's not much life to write about at the moment cuz I'm on serious vacation time from life (but that's changing, I think)... and I've been keeping a sort of journal of sorts (which is updated almost daily or whenever the muses ask)... and still deeper heartbeat puddle-jumping (somewhere in this maze, if you want more babble with actual details of my actual personal life experiences thrown in {haphazardly, of course} amidst random ponderings) and bio-type journal-like stuff is ooozing out all over the place... if you care, I mean... this old new path plops you in the middle of the old site (just close the window and come back here) for no apparent reason... and finally (for now at least), if you truly believe you are free and open and secure enough to seriously share everything (with me, even), you could just call J I have a BIOS now, just like the computer and other famous people... actually, I have a bunch of BIOS in all shapes and sizes... kinda like puzzle pieces... eventually I suppose I'll have a BIOS for all occasions... and somewhere in newsgroups and other odd places, I understand that a few unofficial BIOS are still being written and re-written and otherwise dragged on and on and on wih every giggle I take J do you ICQ?... yes, since I hardly use it at the moment and this page was getting a bit overcrowded with babble, I moved the ICQ box to it's own page... I still love it and hope to find lots of messages waiting when I finally get back to it... |
graphics to stick next to new stuff... ummmm, well, maybe I'll start using them one of these nights... for now, there are some road signs and lots of paths to explore... hope you enjoy your journey...