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Rules of Life Carl and Jennifer... Given recent choices, it does seem to me that I have not shared with you two youngsters recently what my (or my generation's) values are. Maybe you haven't heard me lately or maybe you two are just ignoring the Wisdom of Ages given to me by my wise uncles and further reinforced by my own experiences in these long years of mine. I will definitely not be around forever, so I'm going to let you in on the secrets of life, again. I hope you treat this with proper respect, read it, save it, and apply it. Rereading it occasionally as you mature will definitely prove useful. On your career, the first rule or secret of life is to go after something you love, and show it. The trick is to find something practical that earns you a living. If you love something impractical, make that your part-time hobby, and find something practical to love full-time. The second secret to a life's career is to stay with it, like a puppy with a slipper, focus on it, continuously learning and working without pause or hesitation, grow or die... if you can't, see the first secret. Doing this right produces, as a side effect, money. On relationships, the secret is similar but tougher... to find somebody you really, really love, and tell her or him. And to take your time to develop it, because since it's a person you're dealing with, then you are always worried whether that person loves you back or not. Patience is a virtue, this is developed, in time, and is done by giving everything you have, and expecting the other to do the same. Same as a career, focus on your significant other, continuously learning and working at the relationship without pause or hesitation. Relationships are tougher to develop than a career is, because BOTH of you must agree to give all you have. If you can't, or they can't, then again refer to the first secret of life. You can't teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time and it annoys the pig. Doing this right produces, as a side effect, return love. On the same vein, the ability to associate yourself with others who KNOW stuff and DO things, is essential in life, and you must also know stuff, and do things, in order for them to allow this association, otherwise they will give you up, and rightly so. You must pull your own weight, you must give all you have, in order to accept from others. This is also a relationship, one based upon respect and upon a different kind of love than the above mentioned. Most of us love our work and love our life, but will not associate with takers. Do you remember my first attempted dissertation? I was expanding the so-called Prisoner's Dilemma, the opposite of a wargame, where transactions in a relationship are best done with four rules: Be (1) Nice (2) Clear, (3) Provocable, and (4) Forgiving. These old rules are definitely part of the two Rules of Life detailed above. Third rule of life: it is said that the race goes not necessarily to the talented. More often, it goes to the obedient and reliable. It gets won by those who can be easily found, those who always say yes, and those who get it done. By those who never confront or embarrass others. By those who work hard. NOT necessarily by the best, NOT necessarily by how well it gets done. Preferred does not necessarily imply optimal. Finally, the fourth and last rule of life... above all else, you must do the right thing, irregardless of what gets returned back, or what happens afterwards. This is tough. It is a complex and subjective judgment to make, and requires that Wisdom of The Ages that in some cases may make you to think and discuss your alternatives with those you respect. There is no single prescription or recipe for what to do, and therefore the interpretation of the first three rules rests here. But do not hesitate, do the right thing, go for it. By the way, this is no email received from the internet, but typed this hour by me with the hope of being a good investment as far as you guys go, and itself illustrates my rules of life. I'm giving, I'm doing the right thing, and I'm telling you what I'll do. -Dad |
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