"Dad Vader"                 by Colleen Carroll

Every one remembers the famous Empire Strikes Back scene when Darth
Vader reveals to Luke Skywalker that he is his father. Now no one can blame
young Skywalker for freaking out, after all what if Darth Vader was your
father?
Then again what if Darth Vader really was your father? What would
you get him for Father's Day? New batteries for his lifesaber? Mask polish?
A new black robe?
What would happen if you got in trouble and disobeyed him? Would
he chase you around the house with his lifesaber? Or would he spank you with
his giant black hand?
Would he force you to turn to the dark side? For example, "Get
up to your room until you agree to turn to the dark side!"
What would happen if Darth Vader went to parent teacher night at
your school? He'd definetly make a big scene.
What if you brought your date home? Would he give your date a
lifesaber and start fighting your date to make sure he was worthy of you?
Well, at any rate he'd scare your date half to death.
Maybe Darth Vader would not be the best father. For vacations
he'd probably not go to Disney World. After all he'd probably scare all the
characters away. Maybe to the Death Star but you can't get a very good
suntan there.
But on the positive side, if anyone got in your way, Darth
Vader would give them hell. So maybe Darth Vader would not be the worst
father and hey maybe he'd even let you take his space cruiser for a spin.
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