Last week marked the one-year anniversary of my ordination and installation as your Associate Minister. As a congregation, you bestowed upon me the privileges and responsibilities of Unitarian Universalist ministry, an act that only a congregation has the right to perform. You also called me into ministry with you. We entered into a covenant, you and I, of mutual care and respect, not knowing what the future would bring, neither of us imagining that I would be standing here today to say good-bye. I will always think of you when this anniversary passes as the congregation that ordained me and first called me into ministry, and be grateful that I had this opportunity to be a part of your congregation.

Our time together will be a chapter in the stories of our lives. As Robert Walsh pointed out in the reading, both the joys and disappointments, that are always present in the relationship between a minister and the congregation, are now written down. Nothing changes what has been. My leaving does not diminish the ways in which our time together has been a blessing for us both. And the times when expectations were not met cannot be erased - but can serve to teach us to be better as a congregation and minister in the future. While one chapter is coming to an end it is important to remember that our stories are not finished. There are many chapters still to come. I will go on to other ministries and you will have new ministers. In the coming year, I will be the interim minister at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Brazos County in College Station, Texas, close to where my children live with their father. My need to be close to Lindsey and Justin was the impetus for my deciding to leave you and my hope of finding a ministry in Texas has become a reality. In the coming year, you will have an interim minister, Dacia Reid. And she will help guide you as you discern how best to move forward in shaping the ministry of USNH. The proverb in Walsh's reading rings very true, "Nothing is settled, everything matters."

What especially matters today is that we both prepare for the next chapters in our stories. The Rev. Mark Morrison-Reed spoke about this process when he delivered the Berry Street Lecture at General Assembly a couple of years ago and I would like to share with you some of his reflections. When a minister leaves a congregation, both the minister and the congregation must fully let go of what has been in order to make room for what will be. This is at the heart of what is the unique relationship between a minister and the congregation. Ministers play a significant role in the collective life of the congregation as well as the individual personal lives of the members. We are invited in to your lives to share your greatest joys at times such as baby dedications and the joining of lives in marriage, as well as the every day achievements and happiness. We are also the person you turn to when life is difficult, when sickness or death come into your life, or losses burden your days. There is a great deal of trust and compassion in this relationship. The minister and congregation both truly care about the well being of the other. We enter into this relationship knowing at some point in the future, this relationship will come to an end. Congregants themselves may move away. Ministers will retire or move on to other ministries. The challenge is to enter into these relationships deeply and then let go of them when it is time to do so. Let go so that the person who is to follow can become your minister and be fully engaged in the community. And the minister must let go so he or she can be fully present to the next congregation they serve.

I believe that in some ways this may be even more of a challenge for you because I have been your Associate Minister and you will be welcoming an Interim Associate Minister into the congregation in the fall. You have a senior minister, Kathleen McTigue, who has been with you for more than ten years now and will continue to be with you. In addition to this, you know that as an interim, Dacia will only be here for a year or two at the most. It would be easy to see Kathleen as your only minister, turning only to her for support with pastoral concerns as well as guidance on congregational matters. So, I urge you to pay attention to how it is you make room in your hearts and in your lives for Dacia's ministry so that you can truly benefit from all she has to contribute to this congregation as one of your ministers. Allowing Dacia to participate in the writing of the next chapter of your story and in shaping the meaning of your life is a gift that only you can offer, but once given, will be of great value to you also.

In order for you and I to be open to the next ministries we are facing, we must say good-bye. Saying good-bye is hard. Good-bye's are about endings and changes. I have had to say more than my share of good-byes it seems. You would think it would get easier each time, but it never does. It is tempting to pretend that we really don't have to say good-bye just yet - after all there is one more Sunday, or one more meeting, or a chance that I will see you again before I move away. And while all of that is true - a good good-bye is not just about saying the words. It is also about honoring the time we had together and the relationships that have developed. It is about having closure in order to let go.

I first heard about the good good-bye during my final year of class work at Starr King School for the Ministry. I, like many students who attend Starr King in Berkeley, CA, had decided during my first year that I would never leave the Bay Area. Somehow, someway, I was not going to have to leave. But with the gentle nudging of professors, I, like the other students who had decided to stay, realized and accepted that leaving was part of what we had agreed to do when we entered Starr King to prepare for the ministry. While meeting with other students who were going off to internships in the coming year, we talked about the need to begin saying good-bye. None of us really wanted to do it and we wondered how we could. My good friend Michelle said, "You know I just received an email from someone about the good good-bye and how to do it. Here are the things you must do. You must acknowledge feelings, share memories, offer praise, make a promise, and give a final blessing." And for the next three months we did these things over and over, with the final blessing coming from Michelle in her driveway just before I drove out of Berkeley, as she danced around my van in the early morning summer fog with sparklers, wishing me well with safe travels and realized dreams. The good good-bye worked. It didn't make me less sad about leaving, but it helped me move on.

Now, I want to give you a good good-bye. And I realized that a good good-bye is something we must do together. We must say good-bye to each other. It is difficult to have audience participation in a sermon but I would like to try it. I'll read the list again of what makes a good good-bye and give you a moment to think about them. Then I will offer my reflections on each part and then invite you to share your thoughts if you would like. In the interest of time, I will probably only be able to call on a few people each time. When you speak, please stand and speak loudly enough for everyone to hear. And since this is the first time you've heard of this list, you may not be able to come up with something on the spot and that is ok too. The good good-bye includes: Acknowledging feelings, sharing memories, offering praise, making a promise, and giving a final blessing.

As I said in my newsletter column, leaving is always bittersweet. I'm looking forward to being close to my children and to my next ministry, but I'm sad to be leaving here so soon. It seemed that we were just beginning to figure out how to make this Associate Ministry thing work when I realized I needed to leave and I wish that we had had more time to build a ministry together. The last two years have not been easy ones for either of us. Transition and change are never easy. It was a transition to call your first Associate Minister and then more transition with the realization that I would not be staying. But I have always appreciated your support and kindness, in your decision to call me and in facing my decision to leave. I could not have asked for a better Senior Minister to work with than Kathleen. You all have been good to me and I want to thank you for that. I adore your children and will always hold them in my heart and prayers. I care about you and I will miss you. (Allow others to speak.)

I will always remember you as the congregation that ordained me. The service was beautiful with the choir singing pieces written by Gordon Emerson and David Schafer. I will always cherish this stole you gave me that Sally Larrick made. That day was made special by the efforts of so many of you - Janine Reed always went the extra step to have everything done just right. Paul Trotta did an excellent job preparing food for the reception. And thanks to Bruce Levinson, I have many pictures to take with me. The R.E. Committee has been wonderful to work with and I will never forget our meetings. Once they realized how much I like chocolate, we never had a meeting with out it, everything from fudge to Godiva chocolates! We worked hard together but we always laughed. I never imagined a role I would play as your minister would include dance instructor. Jeanine Reed and Sue Hollister and I actually practiced during the summer with a dance video before the Labor Day retreat. Anyone who had got that on tape could have blackmailed us for a long time to come! I have many fond memories of the Labor Day Retreat, playing games, drumming, dancing, absolutely freezing at night, and just getting to know you better. I will never think of USNH without remembering the Cow Project - and how it grew with the kids' and Merryl's enthusiasm. Merryl was determined to get a life size cow here - and she did. Be careful what you pick for next year's R.E. service project. I could go on and on with memories, but I would like to hear yours now.

I admire your courage and commitment. You are a congregation in the midst of transition - you are growing and with that come growing pains. But you keep on moving forward with your vision - and that is something to be proud of. You are committed to doing what needs to be done to build your new sanctuary, and you trust one another to move forward together. This is not easy but I know you have what it takes to meet the challenges that lie ahead. You have good leadership. You care about each other and this community. You are also able to look beyond these four walls and see the needs of others. I don't know of many congregations with an ongoing community outreach program such as Waverly. After September 11th, your support for my going to help as a chaplain at Ground Zero is something I will always be thankful for. You were able to extend your ministry to others at a time when we were all hurting. That experience changed me and my ministry in many ways. Because of my experience of going to Ground Zero, I have begun working with other UU ministers to create a Trauma Response Ministry for the UUA. I want you to be proud of the role you played in this. You are a congregation with many talented and gifted members. You have a lot to offer - to those who come through your doors seeking a faith community that they can join and to the larger community. It has been a gift to share in your ministry.

Promises are always hard to make when saying good-bye. But I promise to hold you in my prayers. I promise to take seriously the ways in which you have been able to help me see my own growing edges and to strengthen my future ministries. I promise to let you know where I go for my next called ministry. And I promise that I will never forget the many kindnesses and care you have shown me in the time I have been here with you.