1) Set up everything in advance

...and have it all laid out at arm's reach before you even pick up your ferret.

2) Stay calm!

I really believe that your being calm helps keep your ferret calm. Make slow movements. If it takes you forever the first few times because you're trying so hard to stay calm, then let it take forever. Better than

"QUICK! GET THE FERRET! OK OK OK, HOLD HIM DOWN! HOLD HIM DOWN! GIMME THE NEEDLE! THE NEEDLE !! THE NEEDLE!!!!!!!! OK OK I'VE GOT IT. I'VE GOT IT. HOLD HIM STILL! KEEP HIM STILL... OKAAAAAAAAAAAY, JUST ONE MORE MINUUUUUUUUUUTE. Okaaaaaaaaaay.... . OK GO! GO!! GO!!!!!!! LET HIM GO!!! OK Good.

Great job everyone. I'll see you all back here to do this again at 10 o'clock sharp. I think he'll come out from under the furniture by then. ;)

Got the picture? DON'T do it that way! Just stay calm. Fake it if you have to, but move slowly, firmly, and talk softly regardless of whether or not your ferret chooses to share in your Zen experience!

3) Bribery!

This is the most important element to making this all work and it's going to make your job SO much easier. Find your ferret's favorite "smearable" treat and use it! It's important that it be something you can smear so your ferret won't be able to carry it off and will have to stay put in order to finish it. Just a few drops of Linatone or some other oil mixture works great. Don't go overboard. If that doesn't do it and your ferret does not have any blood sugar problems, try a small dab of Nutrical. Again, you don't need to go crazy with this. Just a small amount smeared on a clean flat surface will keep your ferret licking long enough for you to administer the fluids.

The first few times you do this, you might want to have someone hold the dropper or tube with the treat right in front of your ferret's mouth to keep it more interested in that than what you're doing behind him. Most ferrets will be much more interested in the treat before them and will keep licking it up while you continue to administer the fluids from behind.

Although I'm sure the whole procedure can be annoying to some ferrets, I think the only real problem is that some will be more freaked out by it than others. I don't think it hurts beyond the first little needle stick which, with their thick skin, most likely feels like a small pinch. You just have to kind of "chill your ferret out" and make sure it keeps licking something!

If you have an extra person, it might be a good idea to keep them around the first few times for moral support. My advice would be to try it with one of you doing it alone and the other ready to gently steady the ferret. Then when you feel more confident, try it with the other person there but not helping out at all and see how it goes.