Some years ago, a man's fantasy became reality, in a form never seen before - Kitchen Stadium, a giant cooking arena. The purpose behind spending his fortune to build Kitchen Stadium was to encounter new original cuisines which could be called true artistic creations.
To realize his dream, he secretly started choosing the top chefs of various styles of cooking - and he named his men the "Iron Chefs", the invincible men of culinary skills.
Kitchen Stadium is the arena where Iron Chefs await the challenges of master chefs from around the world. Both the Iron Chef and challenger have one hour to tackle the theme ingredient of the day. Using all their senses, skills, creativity, they're to prepare artistic dishes never tasted before.
And if ever a challenger wins over the Iron Chef, he or she shall gain the people's ovation and fame forever!
Every battle, reputations are on the line in Kitchen Stadium, where master chefs pit their artistic creations against each other. Whatr inspiration does today's challenger bring? And how will the Iron Chef fight back?
The heat will be on!
Jim Qwilleran, Former Daily Fluxion Restaurant Columnist (in interview): I've had the good fortune of being spoiled by Mrs. Cobb's cooking, and I can vouch that no one else's food has given me the comfort and sense of home that Mrs. Cobb's has. Her food equals the quality of any restaurant's - and no one tops her hospitality.
Mountclemens: Bold praise from a former colleague for a woman whose culinary skills have never before been tested in the professional arena. Some further investigation is in order.
Iris Cobb (in interview): Well, it's hard to articulate just why I myself like to cook... I enjoy watching guests at my dinner table eat up a hearty meal, or the looks on the schoolchildren's faces when they gobble up my cookies... So I guess I cook to make others happy. That's a good enough reason for me. (smiles)
Mountclemens: Iris Cobb is the very antithesis of the modern urban chef. Instead of focusing on intricate nuance or exotic ingredients in her dishes, she instead chooses to evoke the primal solace of the familiar, investing a uniquely provincial charm in tried-and-true dishes. Juxtaposing her homespun, unadorned style of cuisine against that of one of the Iron Chefs should make for an intriguing battle.
Today's challenger, the doyenne of the domestic, from North Middle Hummock, Moose County, Iris Cobb, fif-
Iris: Mr. Mountclemens! It's not polite to reveal a lady's age!
Mountclemens: A-hem. Mrs. Cobb left a thriving occupation as the proprietor of an antiques shop in the venerable old urban sector to pursue a more subdued lifestyle in the countryside. She specializes in pastries both pleasing to the bourgeois palettes of her current audience and delightful to jaded gourmets.
Now, Iris! Transcend your common surroundings and show us the good cheer which you bestow upon your guests!
Iris (in interview): Well, I'll try to do my best. I'll...just have to treat this like one big dinner party!
(The scene turns to Kitchen Stadium...)
Mountclemens (presiding): Today, we have a challenger who approaches cooking not as an art or science, but as a simple means of bringing happiness to others. The practicality of her beliefs in the world at large remains unproven, but it can be surmised from the testimonies of her guests that she has succeeded many times over at home in her aim.
Now, let's bring her on! From the far reaches of Moose County, Iris Cobb!
(Iris enters the stadium...)
Qwilleran (announcing): Taking the concluding steps of her 400-mile journey, Iris Cobb enters Kitchen Stadium. With a large, supportive crowd behind her, but a pressured battle in an unfamiliar environment ahead, can she pull off a win?
(Mountclemens greets her.)
Mountclemens: Glad you could be here.
Iris: My, I wish I could say the same, but, to tell you the truth, I'm really quite nervous - I've never cooked in front of such a large audience. But I'll do my best to represent Moose County!
Mountclemens: In view of what I've learned of Moose County, my dear, I certainly hope you won't. In any case, it's time to meet our Iron Chef - and I understand that Iron Chef Italian has been selected for this battle, so, Mrs. Cobb, would you care to do the honors?
Iris: Well...all right...I summon...Iron Chef Italian!
(Arriving by moving elevated platform in the stadium in a swell of classical music and a cloud of dry-ice mist is...Roberto Maus.)
Qwilleran (announcing): Ascending into Kitchen Stadium, the barrister of biscotti, Roberto Maus. Known among his fellow chefs for his uncompromising standard of quality in his dishes and his strict adherence to gastronomical precedent, how will he fare against a challenger with a culinary background as steeped in tradition as his?
Mountclemens: To satisfy both sides of today's summit meeting of city and country, a theme ingredient with both urban and rural flavors in mind has been selected. To appease the rural constituency, I have selected an ingredient that has been a long-time staple of Moose County cuisine. And to please the urbanites, I have selected the only long-time staple of Moose County cuisine that is actually palatable.
I shall unveil the ingredient! Today's theme is--!
(From the floor arises a huge display of...)
Mountclemens: Today's theme is...turnips.
(The camera does a pan/sweep over the stadium...)
Qwilleran (supposedly announcing): ............
Derek Cuttlebrink: ...Um...Qwill.....you're on.
Qwilleran: .........
......Ugh.........turnips.........
Derek: ...Um...OK, folks, Roberto Maus vs. Mrs. Cobb! Should be a good battle! Let's watch!
Mountclemens: Allez--
Roberto Maus: I object!
(Everyone pauses...)
Maus: This...is an indignity! I refuse to work with ingredients that are put on display...like the blue-light special of a department store!
Mountclemens: Your question my culinary judgment?
Qwilleran: We go through this every episode he's on.
Maus: I know...of a market where a more...suitable caliber of produce may be found.
Mountclemens: And where is this droll little emporium of yours located?
Maus: A farmer's market...cozily situated...on the very outskirts of Muggy Swamp. It opens next Saturday.
Iris: I can't stay around till then! My round-trip ticket expires on Tuesday!
Mountclemens: Allez faire la cuisine!
Derek: I thought it was...
Mountclemens: À mon arène, nous sommes toujours grammaticalement corrects.
(To the announcer's box...)
Qwilleran: And so - finally - begins this...Turnip...Battle...
Derek: Anything wrong, Qwill?
Amanda Goodwinter: You sound like you're disturbed. Cripes, don't start talking like that Maus fellow! We won't wrap this show up till 3 a.m.!
Qwilleran: I have to say that turnips are one of the foods to which I've never quite taken a shine...
Derek: But don't they use them in a lot of Scotch--
Qwilleran: Scottish.
Derek: --Oh, sorry. Don't they use them in a lot of Scottish dishes, though?
Amanda: Bah! Scots also use a lot of sheep's guts in their food, so I'm not basing my notion of good eats on what they serve!
And while we're on the subject, I hope this isn't one of those shows where they throw together something disgustingly inedible that's made out of animal insides and call it "haute cuisine"! Dammit, they slap some cow brains or rabbit liver on a dish, and they expect you to pay $100 a plate for it! (peers at stadium floor) What's that green stuff Maus's using?
Qwilleran: Well, there's no need for worry on Iron Chef; all the disgustingly inedible dishes are absolutely free for the panel. And, speaking of which, we'd better introduce today's panel - on my right, Pickax city councilwoman and current mayoral candidate Amanda Goodwinter, in as fine form as ever. Welcome!
Amanda: Arrgh! That's what you say! Didn't you hear what that pompous jerk said about us in the opening? I hope Iris cleans his clock!
Qwilleran: And I'm sure all our viewers at home will be rooting for our hometown favorite. Also on our show, restuarant manager Derek Cuttlebrink. Hoping to pick up some pointers, Derek?
Derek: You bet! Wow, it's really great to be here! Liz says this experience should really broaden my cultural horizons. To tell you the truth, though, I'm just looking forward to getting some four-star meals gratis - the kitchens I've worked in've been pretty stingy with handouts... I really wish Liz could be here to share this, though. Do you think they'll allow me to take home a doggie bag?
Qwilleran: Possibly, but I'd warn you away from using the term "doggie bag" when you ask. The chairman'd be apoplectic if he thought you were carrying back the food here for a doggie.
Derek: Hey, but he let you take home some stuff for Koko!
Qwilleran: That's different. And, of course, joining us today, our resident food expert and commentator, Hixie Rice!-- (looks at Hixie's empty seat) ...Well, where--
Hixie Rice (rushing in): *gasp* HI! You'll never guess what happened to me. I got to the stadium late because I got stuck behind some Sunday driver on the highway, and just after finally got in the building, one of Mickey Maus's gophers ran smack into me carrying a bowl of calamari sauce! I had to run to the bathroom to wash my vest off, but they didn't have any paper towels to blot the water off - just those hot-air machines, so I has to take off my vest and wait ten minutes for it to dry! Then I got lost in the corridors and had to ask one of the pages for directions...but, I made it, so here I am!
Qwilleran: Now that you are here, Hixie, could you tell us about the ingredient Robert Maus is working with now?
Hixie (peering): It looks like some green stuff.
Qwilleran: Thanks.
Hixie: Always a pleasure!
Junior Goodwinter: Mr. Q!
Qwilleran: And, always on call, our floor reporter Junior Goodwinter - how're things looking, Junior?
Junior: Well, I just discussed today's menu with Mrs. Cobb, and she said it puts her at sort of a disadvantage, since her primary strength is as a pastry chef. But she says she will try to compensate for that by making pasties to capitalize on her skills with breads and dough.
Qwilleran: Thanks, Junior! Anything else?
Junior: Oh, and she gave me a cookie.
Derek: Hey, we're the judges! Give us the cookies!
Qwilleran: All right. Let's discuss the theme ingredient ourselves for today...turnips...
Hixie: Yeah, these appear to be locally-farmed turnips, raised in the "other side of the tracks" region of Sawdust City. The retail price for 'em is usually 59 cents a piece at Toodle's...
Derek: But they did have a 2-for-a-dollar coupon in Wednesday's Something!
Amanda: BAH! Have you seen the quality of the produce they've been putting out lately? The vegetables look like they'd been trucked by handcart up from Down Below two months ago! Who cares about discounts when the merchandise looks like it's been run over by a tractor-trailer?
Hixie: SHHHHH! Do you want me to lose the account?! How do you expect me to keep this show sponsored and on the air when my clients are suing the guests for libel?!
Derek: I've never had any problems with their turnips, but there was one time when Liz sent me to get some stuff for the new environmentally-friendly potato-powered space-time clock she was making. They didn't have very many potatoes left, and the ones they did have were all shriveled-up at the ends or sprouting eyes - and Liz told me specifically not to get potatoes with eyes, since interfering with a sprouted potato's natural growth pattern by skewering it with those little metal probes the unit uses would create bad karma and cause the clock to malfunction. So I was going to get some yams to substitute. Then I started wondering whether yams were actually potatoes, or at least in the potato family, or whether it was like how tomatoes are always thought of as vegetables, even though they're really fruit--
Junior: Mr. Q!
Qwilleran: Not a moment too soon.
Junior: I just talked to the Iron Chef about his strategy, and he says that he's planning on preparing a ravioli for the central dish of his meal. He says that the word "ravioli" means "little turnip" in Italian, and thus ravioli is the only appropriate showcase for this theme ingredient. Back to you, Qwill!
Qwilleran: All right! A little lesson in entymology from our guru of gastronomy, Iron Chef Italian...
Derek: --and I asked the guy at the counter, and he didn't even know. What kind of customer service rep would be that ignorant?
Automated Timing System: 20 minutes have elapsed.
Qwilleran: All right, and I see something's up on the challenger's side...care to comment, Hixie?
Hixie: .........
Qwilleran: ...Hixie?
Hixie: ......What? Oh! ...I think she'll fry that.
Qwilleran: Hixie, she's making a cake.
Hixie: .........
Could be a funnel cake.
Qwilleran: .........
Hixie: Hey, is the Chairman married?
Qwilleran: I wouldn't advise getting involved with him, Hixie. He's not your type - more of a loner - and all his previous relationships have ended badly...
Junior: Mr. Q!
Qwilleran: Take it!
Junior: I've just learned that the Iron Chef is preparing a dish called "brovada" that involves sautéeing in olive oil and garlic turnips that have been pickled in red wine marks, which're the grape skins and other residue that remains in the bottom of the tans after newly-fermented wine is racked off. The Iron Chef insists on using wine marks that cost $60 a quart, taken from a very rare Northern Italian vintage.
Qwilleran: $60 a quart! We spare no expense here in Kitchen Stadium! (oddly- yet conveniently-placed nearby phone rings) Hm? (picks up) Hello?
Polly Duncan: I want to speak to "Mr. Q".
Qwilleran: Polly?
Polly: Words fail me, Qwill. You're spending the equivalent of the gross national product of Brunei of money earmarked for charitable causes on melodramatized dinner parties with your big-city friends - and yet the library's request for new upholstery and custom mud flaps for the bookmobile was turned down just last week! You put our upholstery money into $60 bottles of wine run-off?
Qwilleran: Polly, we're on the air...
...............
...Would you excuse me for a moment. (leaves)
Hixie (commandeering microphone): ...OK, while the announcer's "away", let's take a look at the action on the field. Looks like Mickey Maus's cooking up something...
Junior: Mr. Q!
Hixie: Not here. You'll have to deal with Ms. R.
Junior: Oh, hi, Hixie! Too bad Qwill isn't there; I wanted to tell him that Mrs. Cobb's fixing up some neeps for him. Anyhow, I just learned that the Iron Chef will be making a specialty of the Piemonte region of Italy called "bagna cauda", which, to my understanding, is a fondue-type dish consisting of turnips and other veggies dipped in a sauce made of garlic and anchovies.
Derek: Uh-oh. I don't like anchovies. (calls down to stadium floor) Um, pardon me, but I don't like anchovies. Can you just leave them off my portion? Please?
Maus: Young man, I believe you have me confused...with a drive-in window at a fast-food restaurant. Apart from the fact that this is akin to a fondue...and thus no ingredient in the dip can be removed from the part without removing it from the whole...the taste of the anchovies is absolutely integral to the dish. You'll simply...have to cope.
Hixie: Yeah, Derek, what's the matter with you, anyway? Ah! Garlic and anchovies! The two most obnoxious ingredients in Italian cuisine, together at long last!
Maus: Miss Rice, I will not tolerate such uneducated criticism from...a person whose idea of gourmet Italian cuisine is a cold plate of Spaghetti-Os!
Hixie: Hey, hey, I'm on the tasting panel, so you'd better learn to tolerate my uneducated criticism!
Amanda: This show's not long for the airwaves.
Derek: But it's a fun show.
Automated Timing System: 20 minutes to go.
Amanda: What's your problem with that guy? Besides that he's a persnickety pill?
Hixie: Oh, he used to be my landlord. I once lived at this boarding house he ran for people who worked in the food business.
Amanda: A former landlord? Gotcha. Say no more.
Derek: Hey, Hixie, what's your connection to the restaurant biz? I thought you were an ad gal!
Hixie: Actually, my past creations weren't *that* different from my current ones. Envision "your choice: either fresh, flaky pollock from the frozen waters off Alaska prepared à la goujonette, or tender free-range chicken or hearty beef tenderloin raised on the wild Montana prairie, coarsely - but with care! - chopped and served over mini-baguette in a rich, spicy yet pleasantly sweet tomato sauce with a soupçon of Tabasco".
Derek: Oh...wait, I know the second one...is that...um...some sort of canape?
Hixie: No, it's your choice of fish sticks or a Sloppy Joe. I used to write the effluent garbage you find on restaurant menus.
Derek: Ha! No wonder you and Maus ended up in the same boat - you both speak the same language!
Amanda: Except you talk faster.
Hixie: Ack! Don't even joke about that!!
Qwilleran (just returning): Hoo, boy...and we are back for Battle......(thinks) Could someone remind me what battle we're on? I've been too preoccupied with Battle Library Funding...
Hixie: Let me guess - Polly's still upset over that Battle Curry fiasco?
Qwilleran: Ohhhhh, yes.
Junior: Mr. Q!
Qwilleran: Wha-oh, yes. Go ahead, Junior.
Junior: Hi, Qwill; I'm just on the Iron Chef's side, where he's putting the finishing touches on a soup--
Maus: Young man! How do you expect me to prepare a culinary chef d'oeuvre...with you shoving a television camera in my face every half-second?! Now go make yourself useful...and take some wide shots of the asparagus.
Hixie: Did he just banish our floor reporter!? That does it! I'm going down there to--
Automated Timing System: Five minutes to go.
Qwilleran: No matter now, Hixie; might as well stay in your seat.
Derek: Um, this's a strange question, I know, but at the end of the battle, can we, say, lick the spoons and such the cooks used?
(Weird looks all around...)
Derek: Well, Mrs. Cobb's making a cake!
(The ending gong sounds.)
Qwilleran: That's it! The cooking's done! The Turnip Battle is over!
Junior (on floor): Hey! He's not even using any asparagus!
(Junior on the Kitchen Stadium floor doing a post-battle interview with Roberto Maus.)
Junior (approaching cautiously): So, Mr. Maus, how'd the battle go for you?
Maus: Save for the frequent but...insignificant interruptions, swimmingly.
Junior: So you'll win?
Maus: It is...always hazardous to prognosticate the outcome of a battle...in such a tense situation, with so many variables both in and out of my personal control...
Junior: Honestly, though, will you win?
Maus: Indubitably!
Junior: Well, how did it go?
Iris: Oh, I think I did as well as can be expected... It's tough being in a foreign kitchen, not knowing where all the equipment is...and having so many other people scurrying around about you takes some getting used to! The assistants were a big help at points, but I'm used to doing everything on my own!
Junior: Do you think you'll win?
Iris: Oh, I don't know - but I can't say that I don't hope so!
Junior: Thank you!
Iris (seeing Derek): Oh, Derek...here. (hands Derek the spoon used to mix the cake batter)
Maus (outraged, pointing finger): She is...NOT a chef! She let him...LICK the spoon! A chef's implements...are SACRED to him!!!
Junior (narrating): The challenger is offering four dishes.
Turnip and apple whip - Turnips, apples, and onions are baked, then puréed in this ambrosia-esque dish.
North Country pasties - An old favorite from Moose County's mining heritage - turnips, potatoes, and beef are baked into a golden-brown crust.
Neeps - Mashed turnips with milk and allspice; an venerable Scottish dish.
Apricot-coconut cake - A beloved specialty of the challenger; the tangy yet sweet taste of the apricot is well-supplemented by the enveloping backgound of the coconut.
The Iron Chef fights back with four of his own.
Brovada - Turnips pickled in wine marks are sautéed in olive oil and garlic in this Italian specialty. The Iron Chef insisted on using only the most pedigreed wine marks for this dish.
Italian turnip soup - Diced turnips are stewed in vegetable stock and fine arborio.
Turnip ravioli - "Ravioli" means "little turnip" in Italian, but the pleasantly nutty turnip flavor in this pasta is nothing less than profound. Parmesan cheese and shredded bacon the already-complex flavor of this dish.
Bagna cauda - An olden dish evocative of provincial Italy; turnips are dipped in a fondue of garlic and anchovies.
Junior (narrating): And now, the moment of truth - tasting and judgment.
(The challenger's turnip and apple whip is served.)
Iris: I usually serve all my dishes at once, so I don't know how this meal will go with the courses being served individually. This is a rather sweet meal...well, the first dish isn't, though.
Hixie: Yeah, when I first saw this, I though it was going to be like those vats of Jell-O and whipped-topping they serve at Otto's Tasty Eats, but it's more like a macaroni salad, isn't it?
Qwilleran: Mmm. But, apples and onions - that's a strange combination, isn't it?
Derek: Actually, a long time ago, in my sixth-grade science class, we did this experiment where we had to eat an apple slice and an onion slice while blindfolded and try to tell which is which, and it turns out that if you don't have your sense of smell to help you tell them apart, apples and onions taste exactly the same. It's like how people think tomatoes are vegetables, when they're really fruit--
Amanda: All right! Next dish!
(The pasties are served.)
Qwilleran: Ah! A familiar delicacy! (thinking) (Not to mention one where I can eat around the theme ingredient...)
Hixie: Hey, where'd the Chairman go?
Iris: Mr. Mountclemens said something about having a torte in the oven.
Derek: Hey, can I eat his portion, then?
Hixie: Derek, save room! We've got six courses to go yet!
(The neeps are served; Qwilleran expresses appreciation. Finally, Mrs. Cobb's cake is brought forth...)
Qwilleran: Mmmm...delicious as always, Iris!
Derek: I just can't stop eating this!
Mountclemens: I fail to detect any trace of turnip in this cake...
Iris: Of course not! It's apricot-coconut cream! I decorated the cake with little turnips made out of icing to compensate.
Mountclemens (rising): The rules of the contest clearly specified--
Iris (indignantly): Mr. Mountclemens, I can no more use turnips in a cake than...than you can use plastic cheese in a spray can for your torte!
Maus (just entering): If you would be so kind...please resolve this altercation presently. The butter dip for my bagna cauda...is congealing.
Junior (announcing): The dishes of Iron Chef Italian are now served. We begin with the brovada.
(The brovada is served. Hixie and Qwilleran seem to be enjoying it, but Derek and Amanda...)
Derek: Um...I don't know...this dish isn't really...I just can't get involved in it. Maybe the flavor...um...succeeds in its own way, and somebody else might like it--
Amanda (interrupting): You don't have to be so polite! (to Maus) What is this? This tastes like nothing but turnips soaked in vinegar!
Maus: As explained in the introduction, the brovada has been pickled in fine wine pa--
Amanda: I don't care what you call it - turnips in vinegar are turnips in vinegar! How do you expect us to be able to swallow something this sour?!
Maus (leaning over table): Madame, I should think...that sour foods would quite agree with you.
Qwilleran: Bring on the next dish!
(After the soup, the Iron Chef's turnip ravioli is served. Everybody digs in.)
Derek: ...I feel...as if I'm floating on a supple leaf blown by a summer's breeze onto a gently swaying sea.
(Everyone stares at Derek.)
Derek: WHAT!?!?
(Finally, the last dish, Maus's bagna cauda, is served.)
Derek: This the one with the anchovies, right? Can I take a pass?
(Maus grits his teeth.)
Mountclemens: If you deliver your verdict without taking all the evidence under your consideration, I fear our venerable esquire here will call for a mistrial. And heaven knows the revolt we'll have on our hands if the viewers have to endure another hour of this joy.
Qwilleran: Hey, buddy, I've endured seven courses of turnip, albeit expertly-prepared turnip, thus far. You can suffer through one course of expertly-prepared anchovy. (turns to Maus) Don't mind him, Robert; this is wonderful.
Derek: ......Hey, what's for dessert?
Maus: The bagna cauda is the final course. There is no dessert.
Derek: No dessert? Why don't you have a dessert?
Maus (sighs): Young man, it is exceedingly difficult...especially in view of the...time requires to properly prepare the appetizers and entrée, to produce a dessert employing turnips.
Derek: Hey, I saw some guy make squid ink ice cream on this show once!
Mountclemens: You are profoundly mistaken. I would never allow such a monstrously misguided amalgam of ethnic cuisines on this program. For the dish to pass muster, it would have to be gelato at least.
Hixie: Squid ink ice cream? Ewwwwww - Derek, why would you want to eat something like that?
Derek: Hey, it's something! More than we're getting, at least.
Maus: As if there were any chance that I would ever...stoop to using one of those...blasphemous electric instant ice cream-maker devices to prepare any part of one of my meals! Quality ice cream...must take time in its creation, and cannot...be whipped up in five minutes in a miniature tilt-a-whirl contraption...like a syrup-slush drink...at a convenience store!
Amanda (to Hixie): If it were up to him, every battle would last six days, with a two-day break for him to catch his breath from all that long-winded nonsense he spouts.
Junior (announcing): The Turnip Battle is over; on which side will victory "turn up"?
(Everyone files into Kitchen Stadium for the reading of the verdict...)
Mountclemens: Rural and urban. The clash of these two eternal opposites have brought us a battle the likes of which Kitchen Stadium will never again witness.
......
...That is, if the Fates are with us.
And now, the verdict.
Junior (announcing): Iris Cobb, a grandmother from the farthest, iciest northern reaches, finds herself Down Below locked in mortal culinary combat against a consummately cultured gastronome. It was a heated battle at points, producing great tension between both the chefs and the judging panel. But now the hour of reckoning is here! Who takes it? Whose cuisine reigns supreme?!
Mountclemens: Iris Cobb! (catches himself) What?! (turns to tasting panel) Explain this!
Amanda: It was the cake that decided it.
Qwilleran: We liked the little icing turnips.
Hixie: You can't use turnips in every dish, you know.
Derek: In certain situations, it'd actually be kind of gross.
Maus: This...is an outrage! I refuse to stand to have my reputation besmirched by such an inexperienced, unqualified, and blatantly...biased panel! I fully intend to seek the appropriate action...from my esteemed legal counsel. Expect a call from...me.
Hixie: Hey, don't think my sponsors are gonna take your outburst lying down! Expect a call from my legal team first thing in the morning!
Mountclemens: That's it! No bisque for you - for any of you! Leave my arena! Now!
Iris: Let's hurry back to Pickax! I'll make us all some Pan-Fried Leftovers! (leaves with others)
Qwilleran: And I had promised Koko that next week we'd be having Battle Kabibbles...
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