New Year's Resolutions


Amanda Goodwinter - Argh! Why should I resolve to change anything just to suit other people!? I'm doing just fine the way I am! Let them change!!

Don Exbridge - To get in touch with my inner soul, improve myself in both body and spirit, and devote myself to learning how to better serve my fellow man. Also to get a yacht. And to build a new lake to sail it in! Ground has already been broken near Dimsdale; the pipework, construction of the new 86-ship-capacity Fantasea Marina with mai-tai lounge and curling lanes, and evictions begin in April!

Gary Pratt - To finally introduce the new Boozeburger Sloppy Joe and mop up in the lucrative napkin market.

Thornton Haggis - To develop a distinctive, individual persona. Also to change name to something that doesn't sound like a Scottish sportswear manufacturer.

Pender Wilmot - To develop a distinctive, individual persona. Also to change name to something that doesn't sound like an expensive British clock- manufacturer.

Jill Handley - To finally take that bold first step toward actually uttering dialogue!

Chief Brodie - To stem seven-year crime wave by gently suggesting that a certain moustached philatrophist acquire a nice home in Lockmaster. (No, not really. It's actually to get a psychic cat of my own to hang around the station, much like dalmatians hang around firehouses. Unlike the two-legged variety, we won't have to pay extra to bring in a four-legged psychic on difficult cases.)

Celia Robinson - To finally meet my heroine, Mrs. Polifax!

Edd Eddington - To work hard enough to earn a more prominent role in the next book. I don't mean to be self-important, of course, but, though I've popped up here and there, I've barely been a suppporting character for the last few books, and, well, "attendance is not attention." Mr. Qwilleran said that, I think.

Homer Tibbitt - To continue leading my life in the way that's always served me, put an extra swig of whiskey in my flask, and party like it's 1899!

Qwilleran - To take up a less stressful and dangerous hobby than playing Moose County's resident private investigator. Say, tightrope-walking.

Yum Yum - To start throwing off knickknacks and knocking furnishings around until I get my own room and TV separate from Koko's. Worked with the litter box, should work here.

Hixie Rice - To get Qwill to finally go in with me on my plan to dramatize his amateur investigations in a series of best-selling books! I've had a lady in North Carolina lined up for ages to collaborate with us...

Koko - To pay off front-man in North Carolina, get book contract, become independently wealthy, and break free of tyranny of living in confining four-story apple barn and eating fresh meat only twice a day. (What, you think my throwing books and desk accessories down on the floor around the home were attempts at giving out clues? I was just trying Yum Yum's trick of destroying and vandalizing something in order to get one of your own!)


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