Aiaa. Two weeks into the site, and it's come to writing up crazy stuff. In all seriousness, though, Qwilleran's choice of companion seems to be a source of heated debates in the Cat Who... circles, most of them taking the form of "is he insane to be taking up with Polly, or what?!?". The venerable (or vilifiable) Ms. Duncan comes under review in this piece, I assure you, but let's have a look at some of Qwill's other love interests first.
Zoe Lambreth
Who: modern artist and wife of Earl Lambreth, director of the Lambreth Gallery, The Cat Who Could Read Backwards
Analysis: For the first few (dozen) times that I read TCWCRB, I could not stand Zoe Lambreth. Her helpless-female act got real old real fast and I felt she was best summed up in a quotation by Mountclemens (originally about Sandy Halapay, but applicable to Zoe nonetheless) - "decorative, if she can manage to keep her mouth shut, but she unfortunately finds this an impossible feat". Even when she was being decorative, though, she got on my nerves; the way the story fawned over her moist, dewy doe-eyes (certainly the vilest incarnation of the word "limpid"), how it insisted how synedochally "deep and honest" they were, positively made me sick.
The last time around, however, I picked up on a few seemingly small details that changed my perception of her. Note how she subtly (and seductively) suggests that Qwilleran "come visit the Lambreth Gallery" for an education in modern art - so that, of course, he can give her a little free publicity in return. She's always coming back to Qwilleran with additional details about the circumstances of her husband's death that she's "forgotten" in the confusion of her mind-numbing grief - yet she's coherent enough to summon her wits in the middle of one of her pouring-her-heart-out-to-Qwilleran sessions to edge in a smooth plug for her protege, Nino. And when Qwilleran (in a rare flash of rationality in hr presence) asks why she didn't divorce Earl Lambreth if she was so unhappy in her marriage, she replies that it felt "safer" to stay wedded to him - but if she was so incompatible with Earl, why did she marry him in the first place? Obviously, to get the exposure tat an artist can get by wedding a gallery owner. Zoe was a barracuda who was fully aware of the power of her beauty and was more than willing to use it for her own personal and financial gain. It quite certainly doesn't endear her any more to me, but I can appreciate her as a deeper (however unappealing) character.
But are we here to analyze the inner psyches of the Cat Who... cast? No, we're here for a much lower purpose - to rate their compatibility with Qwill. Which, in this case, was a moot point, since the subject never had any sort of romantic relationship with Qwilleran; he was just another one of her many exploitable admirers.
Verdict: Not happening. Zoe only used Qwilleran's puppy love for her to get a Pulitzer-Prize-winning crime reporter's skills working to help exonerate her. An actual relationship with him wouldn't have been advantageous enough for her to consider at that time, and had she known Qwilleran after he inherited the Klingenschoen fortune, he would've been bludgeoned with a metal ingot inside of three weeks after the wedding.
Alacoque Wright
Who: interior designer-cum-architect, The Cat Who Could Read Backwards
Analysis: Like I said in my Danish Modern review - no chemistry. She doesn't share his interests. She has no defining character traits outside of typical college-age impudence and a slight interest in natural foods. She's...flaky. I see no reason why Qwill would hook up with her, other than that she was an eligible, attractive female in the same book as him (but then, that's pretty much all it took to get Qwilleran's blood flowing in those days). When she resurfaces in The Cat Who Knew Shakespeare, she's a much more capable, intelligent career woman and a wise, witty comrade and confidante for Qwilleran (whom I honestly wish made appearances after that). But as a love interest?
Verdict: Unbelievable and unconvincing.
Mary Duckworth
Who: antique dealer and black sheep of the prestigious Duxbury family, The Cat Who Turned On and Off
Analysis: I don't quite know what to make of the Qwilleran-Duckworth matchup. Save for that "unforgettable Christmas Eve", they really didn't have much of a "romance". But, then again, level-headed, practical Mary Duckworth isn't much of a romantic type. This is a good thing, for their relationship was refreshingly mature; they have no preconceptions about each other (Qwilleran doesn't know she's a Duxbury until halfway through the book and gradually gets over the glamour of the name one he does learn his true identity, and Mary, like a studious little banker's daughter, has had her father compile a life history of Qwilleran through his various agents and computer networks before getting into anything serious), and they can relate to each other as people, not just as "love interests". Even their break-up - if one can call it that - must have been on an adult level, since Qwilleran feels free to call her up in The Cat Who Saw Red for a friendly dinner date.) After Alacoque (or most of Qwill's girlfriends, for that matter), being adult counts for a lot.
Verdict: Not the best long-term match-up for the Q-man, simply because the story had too much respect for her cool-headedness to have her engage in the messy emotional mush eventually required of all love interests (and by Qwilleran, who seems to need a rather demonstrative mate). It would have been interesting if she had stayed in the series as a supporting character with the subtext and tension of the past relationship and resultant residual feelings between her and Qwill. Heck, she would have been welcome just for the variety she'd've brought to the cast; the Cat Who... books need more self-interested characters (especially Moose County, with its glut of enthusiastically civic-minded citizens. Not that Mary would ever have any reason to set foot in Moose County. Whatcha gonna do).
Joy Wheatley
Who: Qwill's old flame (and former fiancée, actually) from his college years, The Cat Who Saw Red
Analysis: I think I said it best in my review of Saw Red - "Joy, unfortunately, has grown little since her younger years. Qwilleran reflects that his old college flame, the woman who insists that he move into Maus Haus minutes after their reunion and lend her (a very large amount of) money days after that, is 'the Joy he remembered - all instant decision and breathless action', an observation which he takes with bemused endearment, but which in the novel foreshadows the cause behind Joy's eventual downfall - she thinks only of the present and herself, potential consequences for others or even her own future. She didn't give a good reason for marrying Dan, she gives rather dubious reasons for leaving him now ("I don't know. It's just because...well, I'm me and he's himself), but brushes off treatment from Dan - belittling all her artistic accomplishments, baiting her with stories of how cats are sold for experimentation when her own is lost, opening wide the blinds on their waterfront apartment when he knows she's deathly afraid of the river - that would easily constitute mental abuse. We see where she might have once been the sweet gal Qwill was set to marry, but the toll of the mistakes she carelessly made and, worse, never learned from in her youth has given her a venomous overriding mean streak and a petty, smiping personality." Self-plagiarism. How lazy. But I believe it's accurate.
Verdict: Had Joy survived, she would've left Qwilleran within a month, using phrases like "things have changed between us", "it's better if I set you free", and "you'll understand", but this is really a moot point. The Cat Who Saw Red was about Qwilleran coming to terms with truths he didn't want to face, one of them being the ugly transformation of his former love. The book never believes that Joy is good enough for Qwilleran, and "there is no elegiac, bittersweet regret that this romance did not or cannot continue".
Rosemary Whiting
Who: health-food advocate, The Cat Who Saw Red and The Cat Who Played Brahms
Analysis: Rosemary Whiting was, in many ways, a proto-Polly Duncan. She was of the same age and (basic) temperament as Polly, she had lost her husband, she was comfortable enough with Qwilleran to go along with him on short weekend trips, she enjoyed birdwatching, and she also was interested in Qwilleran's writing projects.
But Rosemary is also a kinder, gentler Polly Duncan. She is not jealous, only trusting and genially unconcerned. She is completely content to do activities (going to the prison flower garden, say) that she knows Qwilleran wouldn't enjoy on her own, rather than insisting on dragging him along. While Rosemary, like Polly, is very inquisitive about the progress Qwilleran is (not) making on his supposed novel, she immediately relents when Qwilleran complains - "I'm sorry, Qwill. I've never known a writer before. I don't know how to act. You'll have to tell me.". Her only pocket of bossiness, her attempts to convert Qwilleran to the "Right Food", are easily deflected in the end (not that Qwilleran totally ignores her advice - she does convince him to give up pipe-smoking for the cats' health). Her lack of classical education might have proven a problem after a while, but a few more months with Qwilleran would've remedied the problem by osmosis. Overall, Rosemary was a kind, quiet, sweet companion. And what does Qwilleran do? He gets it in his head that she's too sedate for him and lets her go in favor of Melinda. What a schmeel.
Verdict: Why, oh, why couldn't Rosemary made the transition to Moose County? Think of the possibilities for character developent and enrichment! For an actual give-and-take relationship! For the scenes of Rosemary trying to sell tofu-and-spelt pasties on the natives! Ah, well - at least Max Sorrel got the better end of the deal.
Melinda Goodwinter
Who: Moose County doctor, The Cat Who Played Brahms and The Cat Who Played Post Office
Analysis: It's tough to make a case for Melinda. During her tenure, she was very one-dimensional and shallow. Not, of course, that I'm trying to make the case that medical-school-graduate Melinda didn't have brains - it's just that Qwilleran wasn't thinking of them as her foremost asset when he hooked up with her.
Granted, she was attractive, but for me, though, Melinda didn't little else going for her as a love interest. Melinda and Qwill were interested in each other before his inheritance (well, more Qwill in Melinda than the opposite), but Melinda sure had fun planning how to spend his dough afterwards - the lavish, butlered dinner party she dragooned him into hosting in Post Office, say (would Qwilleran ever really put on such a formal show on his own volition, then or now?). She was, as definitively proven in The Cat Who Wasn't There, a pure and simple gold digger. And her pointed comments at Qwill's age were tiresome and exasperating. What were her intentions? To put the idea of his supposedly impending demise at the forefront of his mind so that he'd knock off and she'd inherit his money more quickly?
See, here is where the tone of the series began to clash with City Qwill's tastes. This was Old Qwill's dream gal - young, attracitve, and more than willing (interested in little else, as a matter of fact) to...er..."go at it". But she posed a problem to the nature of the Cat Who... books. The Cat Who...s compose a rather family-friendly series. Whenever Qwill gets into an intimate moment, the narrative discreetly shifts to some time afterward; it sees no purpose in wallowing in salacious detail. Braun does not serve prurient interests. The trait of Melinda's that Qwilleran most remembers is her "frank sexuality". Frank sexuality has no place in the Cat Who... universe. Remember that.
Verdict: Wasn't There proved there was more to her personality than simple man-chasing, but that's the only side we saw of her when she was with Qwill. Indeed, she made that wonderful installment possible, and that partially vindicates her, but as a love interest, she reflects Qwill's early poor judgment for long-term companions.
Fran Brodie
Who: interior designer, The Cat Who Knew Shakespeare
Analysis: Yeah, in case you've forgotten, Francesca was jockeying for Qwill's affections at one time. Heck, Qwilleran didn't take her seriously either. She was starstruck. She wanted the Klingenschoen prestige and bucks (probably stemming from residual disappointment over Francesca Klingenschoen's "name your kid after me and she'll get a share of my inheritance" scam). She's been a good kid since.
Verdict: Forget about it - and not just in the derisive sense of the phrase, either.
Iris Cobb
Who: cookie-baking former antique dealer, former landlady of Qwilleran, and then-curator of the Goodwinter Farmhouse Museum, The Cat Who Sniffed Glue (this is the installment with which this entry is concerned, anyway)
Analysis: The moment upon which I am basing Iris Cobb's eligibility for inclusion in this list is in the middle of Sniffed Glue. Qwilleran and Polly are on the outs, and Mrs. Cobb has (kindly and touchingly) prepared and invited them both to a cozy, private dinner at the museum to lure them back together, but Polly has backed out. Qwilleran stays on, and afterwards, during a chat by the fireplace, Qwill gives Iris the silk scarf he had meant for Polly:
"'Oh, real silk,' she cried. 'And my favorite color! You remembered!' Her tear-dampened eyes were enlarged by the strong lenses in her glasses, and Qwilleran felt a surge of compassion for her. She liked male companionship, and yet all three of her marriages had ended sadly. Although she claimed to be happy, he knew she was lonely. Sometimes he wondered about himself. He had been a bachelor for ten years, telling himself it was the best way to live. Life was agreeable when Mrs. Cobb was his housekeeper, and the meals had been superb. Now he ate in restaurants and was constantly looking for a dinner companion. His best friend, Arch Riker, would soon be married and staying home evenings. Most of the women he knew were either too aggressive or too frivolous for his taste. The head librarian was the exception, but he and Polly had played their last scene, and he knew when to bring down the curtain."
"He was quiet, lulled into tranquility by good food, pleasing environment, and the domestic tranquility of the moment. Mrs. Cobb seemed to sense his mood, and her eyes smiled hopefully. Only the crackling of the fire and Koko's heavy breathing broke the silence. Qwilleran wanted to say something, but for once he was at a loss for words. She was an amenable woman, a comfortable companion. He had only to say 'Iris!' and she would say 'Oh, Qwill!' with tears streaming down under her thick glasses.'"
It's too deep a moment to classify as simple googly-eyed "romance", but I don't think love is absent from it either. The scene is dominated more, though, by the comfort given by the mutual sympathy - quiet love, not necessarily "romantic" love - of two tired, worn close friends. Not the basis for a relationship, but a beautiful moment nonetheless.
Verdict: The wrong choice for a mate - Qwilleran's not suited to the motherly type. But they had a truly great friendship, and her presence is sorely missed.
Sarah Plensdorf
Who: office employee of the Something, The Cat Who Said Cheese
Analysis: To refresh everyone's memory, Sarah Plensdorf was the sad, lonely woman who won Qwilleran in the bachelor auction in Said Cheese. I have great sympathy for Sarah. Everybody writes her off. She does an exceptional job at the Something, yet her work is taken for granted. Qwilleran is slack-jawed floored when he learns that she is the winning bidder. Even Polly the Eternally Jealous is completely nonthreatened - even relieved - when she learns the identity of Qwilleran's date. During a very engaging and pleasant dinner date, she pours her heart out to Qwill about her life, interests, dreams - not overbearingly, just in the course of conversation, because she trusts him as a confidante - only to have Qwilleran brush her off as the little office mouse again. And, to top it all off, she doesn't take the least offense. Sarah doesn't push herself on him; that one night with him was enough.
Verdict: Sadly, Qwilleran didn't and wouldn't take her seriously. She deserved, though, a recurring role in the series. While everyone else may brush her off, the story, at the very least, shouldn't.
Polly Duncan
Who: Pickax head librarian and Qwill's steady gal from Knew Shakespeare on
Analysis: Ah, yes, the infamous Ms. Duncan. Let's get right to the big problem - jealousy. Insane jealousy. Overpowering, all-encompassing jealousy. Polly actively tries to discourage Qwilleran from participating in any activities (the Theatre Club, say) in the course of which he might run into other single women; she doesn't go to quite those lengths later on (primarily because Qwilleran isn't involved in any other extracurricular activities except the newspaper later on), but she does visibly fume whenever business or covert criminal investigations call for him to meet with any other woman. And her attempts to control Qwill's life are not limited to his social sphere. Remember that she first paired up with Qwilleran when he was supposedly writing a novel, and, when he confesses that he now knows he's not up to the task, she becomes unreasonably angry, suggesting that (at least initially) she became involved with the man to (more self-plagiarism here) aggrandize herself by being romantically linked to a great writer, and that Qwill's decision to remain a newspaper hack ruined her chances of such.
So yes, Polly is indeed possessive and controlling. She does have her moments, though; like I noted in my Sniffed Glue review, the way she immediately rushes to his side after he has the accident on Ittibittiwassee Road proves that the relationship is indeed founded on something more. She does show a concern for his welfare, and she's so potent in the crisis moments when realizes how much she loves him and just reaches *out* for him - such as the kidnap attempt at the end of Moved a Mountain - that, at those times, there seems to be no doubt that she is indeed emotionally attached to him. I would *say* that Polly's jealousy results from the traditional excuse of her loving him so much and being afraid to lose him, had it not been for that whole Steve affair in Knew a Cardinal. Her decision to two-time Qwilleran with this guy was inexplicable, and her cavalier treatment of and utter disregard for Qwilleran during such was inexcusable and, unfortunately, proves that, on a day-to-day level at least, she is far less committed to the relationship than he.
And then we move into the issue so eloquently summed up by a poster on AOL a couple years ago - "what does Qwilleran see in this petty little woman?" On the one hand, Polly is an educated, literary woman familiar with the classics, and such women are in short supply in Moose County (this speaks of desperation on Qwilleran's part, but let's move on). On the other hand, culturedness wasn't much of a factor for Mr. Q when he dated women like Melinda. On the third hand, Qwill was a mellowed person by Knew Shakespeare/Sniffed Glue et al. Otherwise, Qwilleran is attracted to Polly's "soft, gentle, and low" voice, but that's all. No wonder we're at a loss to explain the attraction. But then, the issue of Qwilleran's interests vs. the series's interests rears its head again. It's best for the Pickax installments if Qwilleran does have a steady love interest - Qwill's not the solo type, and a steady relationship helps foster the down-home, cozy family Moose County atmosphere. We know, and Braun knows, though, that the balance and synergy between and - and our attachment to - our friends Qwilleran, Koko, and Yum Yum is too important to the series to upset with any foreign elements or outside distractions. So, we're caught in a vise of sorts - Qwill has to have a significant other in his life, yet she can't draw too much attention to herself or be too dominant a presence in the story. This explains why Braun has never allowed Qwilleran to marry, and this is also why Polly has such an unremarkable everyday personality. This in turn sheds light on why Polly's jealousy is such a problem - if you have no outstanding positive qualities, people are most likely to remember you for your negative ones. Especially if they would have derailed any normal relationship long ago.
Analysis: I don't mind Polly Duncan that much; I really don't. When she's not a green-eyed monster, she's really quite agreeable. But I don't think she's the best choice for Qwill's soulmate.
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