All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned from the Cat Who... Series

• The truth of the matter lies in the small, easily-overlooked details.

• When pressed for material for obligatory social small talk, remember that the weather is a convenient talking point that provides instant common ground with any companion.

• People love the tourists' money, but not the tourists.

• There's no need to fuss with topcoats or capes or Essence of Lime for the murder. Just taking the knife and getting it done will prove more effective.

• The quiet and mild-mannered sometimes have revolvers hidden away in their lunch pails.

• When given a choice, opt for low-profile independent security over a high-flying, fame-and-fortune dream job administered at the discretion of a erratic, fickle employer.

• The depressing fact is that most of the clever ones do indeed go into the glitz of advertising rather than the hard work of responsible journalism.

• The more hyped and hullaballoed the next great coming thing is, the more likely it'll just turn out to be cheap Danish beer.

• If the patrons are happy with the Press Club as it is, leave it alone. Old and musty but comfortable and homey is better than new and shiny but artificial and soulless.

• Let the local thugs run whiskey and knock off prisoners, and eventually they're going to get to knocking off the chief of police.

• Good cooking and good facial hair can compensate for many faults.

• If your body of professional work is divided between hard-fought, hard-news war & crime stories and gentle, folksy human-interest stories, chances are you will be remembered primarily for the latter.

• Touch not the cat bott a glove.

• No one who decks their walls top-to-bottom with bright and bold daisy graffiti is likely to go quietly - at least, not willingly.

• If you're gonna drink coffee, drink strong coffee.

• If the man with the phone tells you to stay in the chair but your escape route is wide open, don't just sit there - run!

• Two parts sympathy, two parts curiosity, and one part low blood pressure can get you a long way with most people...

• ...but some people just plain think down is up.

• Always treat cats with kindness and respect. Otherwise, the chances are great that your slights will be revisited...

• Sometimes, despite all promises and expectations, the old lady just up and gives everything to the new guy from out-of-town.

• And sometimes, the new guy from out-of-town doesn't turn out to be all that bad after all.

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