Dear Melinda,

 

As you may know, I started out with CCMH 11 years ago as a patient.  I was fairly sure it would be a short term association since I was hopeful that my existence on early was short term.  I was bullied into trying out the Peer Outreach Program by my case manager.  I agreed to go to get her off of my back.  After the first couple of classes, I found myself going for me – not for her.  I finished the class and started part-time work for the county.  It felt great to be able to work again and not spend all of my time isolating at home thinking about all the pain I was in.  Since then, I have mostly enjoyed my association with CCMH.  I quickly went up to the 18 hours per week maximum.  It was great.  I did lots of different jobs for CCMH from organization to ICP court coordinator.  I started up the phone call reminder program to call people for appointments.  I started out with just doing prescribers, where I made the calls myself, to doing all clinicians appointments where I did the scheduling and trained up to 3 people to do the calls.  This program was working so well it was giving to Community Solutions as a training program.  I also worked at setting up and getting Safe Haven running.  But this last year has been very hard on me – both emotionally and financially.  I lost the hours from the reminder calls so I was allowed to drive the county vans for outings.  Starting in February, things got really bad at Safe Haven.  I was trying to keep it as it was originally set up to be.  A place where people could come and relax and have fun.  Folk-time (our mentors) had other ideas.  Since the grants had already been paid to Fold-time, they won.  I was fired in April.  Then I was not allowed to drive the vans to any Safe Haven functions since rumors were being spread about me saying things I never said.  So again I lost money and was not allowed to see the people who had become my friends and had gotten used to me being there for them.  I am currently working about 5 hours a week from the 18 I had been doing.  Things have gotten so bad that my college daughter had to move back in with me to help pay my bills.  I have gotten so down again that I was back to thinking about checking out.  I couldn't even get to the orals part of a county job.  I was told by many people that they were going to get me more hours – but that never happened.  I was told by Pat Risser that I would get the job as teacher for this program since he was setting it up, but I was passed over for it too.  I really hit the skids then.  I felt lower than low.  I really planned on giving up altogether.  Then Pat and Erin told me to apply for this class.  That way I could probably be a teacher in the next class – if it happens.  I signed up but was sure I would not get picked.  I did get in and slowly but surely I'm getting some self respect back.  I still do not trust things as I would like to, but I think I am heading in that direction again.  To be totally honest, I still am hoping I can get more (and steady) hours, if not work full time with CCMH, when this class is over.  Since my girls are grown, I have looked to work, to be useful to others, to fulfill the nurturing needs I have in my life.  Hopefully, I am again going in the right direction with this class.  I have been learning more and making more friends.  I think this is a great program and hope it continues forever.

 

xxxxxxx