With 2% of the vote counted, the results of the first network presidential straw poll in the history of television held on Aug. 29, 1999:
*Threw herself from seat of power on election eve. RIP.
INSTANT ANALYSIS:
The downstate vote is not yet in. Snail mail ballots being counted manually. Absentee vote still to be tabulated. Polls remain open.
Nevertheless, it looks like a Kitman landslide in the making.
However, Kitman strategists are saying ,"it's too early to tell. The race looks close."
THE CANDIDATE:
Kitman is in his hotel room watching TV. His aides say he is hard at work keeping up with late breaking trends in TV programming, preparing for the fall TV season. He released the following statement:
"My polls are proven right. They said it would be too close to call. It's not over until it's over in TV. But I am very encouraged by the early results .I now know how candidates in Banana Republics and the old USSR feel like after a fair open election. I urge people to go to the polls and vote early and vote often. The LA vote is not yet in."
