Thermometer Interpretation


This is the Unofficial World Wide Activities Thermometer, based on
stereotypes and geographical generalizations by temperature.
Air Temperatures:
60 degrees - Californians put their sweaters on.
50 degrees - Miami residents turn on the heat.
45 degrees - Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.
40 degrees - You can see your breath, Californians shiver
uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming.
35 degrees - Italians cars don't start.
32 degrees - Water freezes.
30 degrees - You plan your vacation in Australia.
25 degrees - Ohio water freezes, Californians weep pitiably,
Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming.
20 degrees - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless,
New York City water freezes, Miami residents
plan vacation farther south.
15 degrees - French cars don't start, cat insists on sleeping in
your bed with you.
10 degrees - You need jumper cables to get the car going.
5 degrees - American cars don't start.
0 degrees - Alaskans put on T-shirts.
-10 degrees - German cars don't start, eyes freeze shut when
you step outside.
-15 degrees - You can cut your breath and use it to build an
igloo, Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects,
Miami residents cease to exist.
-20 degrees - Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you,
politicians actually do something about the homeless,
Minnesotans shovel
snow off roof, Japanese cars don't start.
-25 degrees - Too cold to think, you need jumper cables to get
the driver going.
-30 degrees - You plan a two week hot bath, Swedish cars don't
start.
-40 degrees - Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top
button, Canadians put on sweater, your car helps
you plan your trip South.
-50 degrees - Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the
bathroom window.
-80 degrees - Polar bears move South, Green Bay Packer and
Buffalo Bills fans order hot cocoa at the game.
-90 degrees - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
-100 degrees - Hell freezes over, Clinton finally accepts
responsibility for his actions and tells James
Carville to shut up.
My thanks to Melody Bowles for the above.
Back to Stuff and other Things
Back To Main Page