PiCTuREs Of BRoKeN THiNGs

Since the spatula idea never went anywhere, this page is for your pictures of ANY KIND of broken things. Did your husband accidentally smash the toilet bowl while putting up a shelf behind it? Did you kick the vacuum cleaner down the stairs? A neighbor throw out a blackened & burned chair after a cigarette got started in the cussion?
Your pictures of broken objects of all sorts is what this page is all about. Find out how to submit them at the bottom of the page. SAVE OUR PLANET! PHOTOGRAPH A BROKEN OBJECT TODAY!

THIS WEEK'S MURDERED OBJECT

O o, mom busted the coffee cup!!!

This picture was sent to me via email, and is of a coffee cup his or her mother broke.
I think the lesson here is "don't just slam your shit around, and it won't become broken".

Archives of the last few dead or dying pieces of merchandise.
Earlier pictures were taken with a crappy old webcam;
later ones with a real camera. :)
A bombed-out toliet bowl!
OOPS! Lamp faw down go boom!
A mortally wounded chair, and the same dying chair coiled up in a doorway.
Scene of a recent faxicide and again.
When Drunken Bunghole Houseguests Attack!
Uh, oh, the coffeepot!
Plant can smashed behind the dishwasher.
Phoney plaster owl run over by a real plastic wheelchair
There's a what in our garbage can?
Some pussywhipped POS vagina-munching dicklick chopped down some plants.
A pissed-on (not pissed-off) light bulb.
A bunch of computer shit busted in an earthquake.
How not to murder your vacuum cleaner.
What happens when you electrocute a light bulb.
Destroying some CD-ROMs
Exploding vacume bag
Lite bub faw down go boom
Coffee and toliets do not mix
Woman-shaped lamp busted in a San Diego hotel room

Some suggestions on how to carry out your task

Drop a bowling ball or an anvil on top of the toilet from ceiling-height.
Toss a spatula onto the lawn, and run over it with the lawnmower. Run over it multiple times.
Have your little brother kick a canister vacuum cleaner down the stairs.
Kick over a floor lamp, being sure the light bulb inside of it explodes.
Stomp on it! Yeah yeah yeah stomp on it! Break it, break it, BREAK IT!!!
Use an electric or manual saw to chop a broken TV up into small, dime-sized pieces.
Flush the pieces down the toilet. (Be sure to send me the image before disposing of them)
Back over the kid's old bicycle with that old hippie van. Nobody will know.
Beat the hell out of a cheap vase with a hammer. Stomp on the dead plants inside of it too.
Set out an old chair, and hand out things like axes & chainsaws to the neighbor kids and point the chair out.
Check the local golf range for bent, twisted and mutilated golf clubs.
Run flimsy plastic bowls through the dishwasher. Use the heated drying cycle.
Get some old plates, cups & saucers, and drop them on the floor. Tell your friends you had an earthquake.
Get your idea from your garage. Most garages are bountifully overflowing with power tools of all kinds.
Drop a bowling ball from great height, or smash one with a sledgehammer. Wear a radiation suit when you do this, in case you expose the plutonium core by accident. Photograph it. Use X-ray film if you have any.
Replace the household light bulbs with photoflash bulbs. Photograph the end results.
Take plenty of pictures if there's an earthquake in your area. Photograph things that the news media would never take pictures of, such as broken toilet bowls, broken TV sets, tipped-over houseplants, telephones knocked to the floor & lying there off the hook, broken fishtanks, and that sort of thing.

BREAK SOMETHING USELESS TODAY!

TO SUBMIT YOUR PHOTOS OF DEAD OR DYING HOUSEHOLD OR OTHER OBJECTS:

Save your image into .JPG or .GIF format - most graphics programs and photo CD thingies will let you do this or will do so automatically.
Don't send in BMP's or I'll nock a urinator off the wall with your favorite new golf clubs!
E-mail the photo to me.
In your e-mail, describe what happened to the the object (if you know).
You'll receive mail when your picture is about to be displayed - this may be immediately, or may be several days.
Pictures may be resized, cropped, or rescanned if they're very large, but the dead object will remain intact.

Let us know how you break things See how others break their own shit
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Since October 15, 1999; People have hated their spatulas here.

Stricken by The Joke Toliet! Help!

Featured on Cathie Walker's Silly Buddies!
(Formerly known as 'Centre For The Easily Amused')

Voted a '5 HA!' Humor Site on December 30, 1999

Site contents (C) copywrong 1999 TDC, please ask before using something off this site.. "Spachela H8RED/ BROKEN THINGS" and the associated logo (C) 1999. If you use this on a similar site, I'll have to hunt you down and stomp on your coffeepot and break it.

DISCLAIMER: The creator of SPACHELA H8RED will not be held responsible for property damage or personal injury caused by your destroying things using any of the above mentioned methods.
Inserting metal objects in your microwave oven may cause damage to the oven's magnetron and will likely start a fire, which you will be responsible for extinguishing.

WARNING! This is a HUMOR site. Please leave immediately if the sight of dead or dying spatulas or other objects causes you to want to kick a toilet off the wall.