My life with God in and out of the Church
An excerpt from chapter 14, pages
274-278
assesses my chances at the Last Judgment
One afternoon, in Seal Beach’s
library, I thumbed through the large book entitled Vatican
Museums - Rome published by Newsweek in 1968. Page 97 displays
Michelangelo’s painting of the Last Judgment in the Sistine Chapel. From
1536 to 1541, using his creative imagination and artistic brush, Michelangelo
painted the Last Judgment on the 45 by 43-foot altar wall.
In the center, a vigorous man, identified as
Jesus by the reddish wound near his heart, is rising from his throne. He
raises his open right hand to banish the sinners to hell while his curled left
hand beckons the righteous to heaven. A large group of saints have already
gathered around Jesus. In various ways, Michelangelo identifies only ten of
them: Mary and John the Baptist, Saint Peter and Saint Paul, Saint Andrew and
Saint Bartholomew, Saint Lawrence and Saint Sebastian, Saint Catherine and one
more person. For special consideration, Michelangelo did not select an
illustrious pope, bishop or theologian; he chose Simon of Cyrene. Why? The
artist reveals the reason by painting Simon carrying the cross of Jesus. He
deserved to be singled out because he had lent a helping hand to Jesus as he
stumbled up the hill of Calvary.
I also noticed that, on the left side of the
painting, many of the righteous are stretching out their arms to help their
brethren below. On the mural’s other side, demons are pushing away and
dragging sinners downward. One damned soul, seated on a bank of clouds, covers
one eye while the other observes in horror the hell below. In the dark cave of
hell, a ghastly pair of eyes reveal the terror and despair of the damned.
Those horrified eyes pierced my soul and haunted me all the way home.
That evening, I sought reassurance of my security
in the Gospel account of the Last Judgment that had inspired Michelangelo’s
painting. In chapter 25, Saint Matthew writes: “When the Son of Man comes in
his glory and all his angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his
glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate
people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He
will put the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left. Then the king
will say to those at his right hand, ‘ Come, you that are blessed by my
Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world;
for I was hungry and you gave me food. I was thirsty and you gave me something
to drink....I was sick and you took care of me.’
Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw
you (and did all this?) And the king will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you
just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family,
you did it to me’.” Then according to Matthew, the king will condemn the
sinners on his left for not helping his brethren when they were hungry,
thirsty and sick. Finally, he will say, “You that are accursed, depart from
me into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.” And then,
according to Matthew, “These will go away into eternal punishment, but the
righteous into eternal life.”
Keeping the Gospel open on my
lap, I realized that Christ’s criterion of righteousness was “helping a
neighbor in need.” Jesus mentioned giving food to the hungry, water to the
thirsty and care to the sick. After leaving the Church, I had helped to feed a
million Vietnamese refugees. I had helped to provide potable water to the poor
in Africa. I had taken care of my paralyzed wife, Minh, day and night for five
years and would continue this until my last sunset.
With my record of helping others, I need not fear
the Last Judgment. If Christ should ever return to resurrect the dead and
judge their deeds, I felt confident that my skeleton would reassemble into a
human frame and don my flesh just as Michelangelo portrayed the resurrection.
Leaving my grave, I would start ascending towards the judgment seat. If I
should hit a snag along the way, I felt confident that the people whom I
helped in Cleveland, Hyde Park, Africa, Vietnam and Brownsville would offer me
a helping hand. The person who would help me most would be my wife surely
among the righteous. With her right arm whole again and strong, Minh would
pull me up to the Judge’s throne. Like none other, she would vouch for my
helping her. If need be, she would recall a thousand instances of my help.
Before long, amused by her stubborn support, Jesus would smile and wave us in.
Then arm in arm Minh and I would enter heaven and greet our families and
friends. There in eternal glory, as Saint John says in his first letter, “God
will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning, crying
and pain will be no more.”
Thus, if the Church is right and I am wrong about
a Last Judgment ever occurring, I still have nothing to worry about. Christ
made love and help of neighbor the criterion and touchstone of righteousness.
I have done that all my life in and out of the Church. Fully assured of Christ’s
approval, if need be, I closed the Gospel on my lap and soon my eyes for a
sound sleep. Likewise tonight, with undiminished confidence in the goodness of
God, I end the story of my life with a resounding “Alleluia”.