If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now
--bumper sticker
If you want world peace, fight for justice.
--bumper sticker
My job is secure. No one else wants it.
--bumper sticker
You've obviously mistaken me for someone who cares
--bumper sticker
This is my other car!
--bumper sticker
And on the eighth day, God went fishing
--bumper sticker
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once
--bumper sticker
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
--bumper sticker
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
--bumper sticker
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
--bumper sticker
Stop the violins. Visualize whirled peas.
--bumper sticker
Gun Control isn't about guns. It's about control.
--bumper sticker
There's too much youth; how about a fountain of smart.
--bumper sticker
My computer doesn't understand me!!
--bumper sticker
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home
--bumper sticker
I'd rather be driving a golf ball
--bumper sticker
I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong!
--bumper sticker
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
--bumper sticker
A politician should do two terms - one in office and one in jail
--bumper sticker
Tired of being around? Call Dr. Jack
--bumper sticker
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
--bumper sticker
My other car bumper sticker is funny
--bumper sticker
If all else fails .. lower your standards
--bumper sticker
Bosses are like diapers. Full of shit and all over you
--bumper sticker
Life's a bitch, and so am I
--bumper sticker
It's hard to stumble when you're on your knees.
--bumper sticker
Nuke the gay unborn baby whales for peace
--bumper sticker
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person
--bumper sticker
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
--bumper sticker
Don't laugh .. It's paid for!
--bumper sticker
Time flies when you don't know what you're doing
--bumper sticker
He who dies with the most toys, wins!
--bumper sticker
My other car is a Porsche
--bumper sticker
Cat: The other white meat
--bumper sticker
I'm in no hurry, I'm on my way to work
--bumper sticker
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
--bumper sticker
Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time
--bumper sticker
Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it
--bumper sticker
The #1 cause of divorce is ... Marriage
--bumper sticker
Don't take life too seriously. You won't get out alive.
--bumper sticker
We are spending our kids inheritance.
--bumper sticker
Life is sexually transmitted.
--bumper sticker
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
--bumper sticker
Some days you're the Dog, & Some days you're the Hydrant
--bumper sticker
If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
--bumper sticker
Don't let school interfere with your education
--bumper sticker
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
--bumper sticker
My karma ran over your dogma
--bumper sticker
I may be slow, but I'm ahead of you
--bumper sticker
Shit happens!
--bumper sticker
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
--bumper sticker
If it's tourist season then why can't we shoot them?
--bumper sticker
Men have feelings too, but who really cares?
--bumper sticker
And on the eighth day, God went skiing
--bumper sticker
Athletes love to score
--bumper sticker
Not all women are fools. Some are single.
--bumper sticker
There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.
--bumper sticker
If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane
--bumper sticker
Yes, I've heard of "decaf." What's your point?
--bumper sticker
Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your children
--bumper sticker
Procrastinate Later
--bumper sticker
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
--bumper sticker
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ...
not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
--bumper sticker
I love cats, they taste just like chicken
--bumper sticker
Men are idiots and I married their king
--bumper sticker
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
--bumper sticker
The best way to get on your feet is to get off your ass!
--bumper sticker
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes!
--bumper sticker
Caution! Driver just doesn't give a shit anymore!
--bumper sticker
Have a crappy day
--bumper sticker
God grant me patience. And I want it NOW!
--bumper sticker
Impeach Clinton. And her husband.
--bumper sticker
I'll do it tomorrow, I've made enuf mistakes today
--bumper sticker
Give me coffee and no one will get hurt
--bumper sticker
Sleep is a poor substitute for coffee
--bumper sticker
Ignore your rights and they'll go away
--bumper sticker
C code. C code run. Run, code, run! (please?)
--bumper sticker
If you're rich, I'm single!
--bumper sticker
This truck belongs to me. Everything else belongs to her
--bumper sticker
The complaint department is closed!
--bumper sticker
I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it
--bumper sticker
Work is for people who don't know how to golf
--bumper sticker
Get even. Live long enough to be a problem to your children
--bumper sticker
Question Authority before it Questions You!
--bumper sticker
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
--bumper sticker
Support the right to arm bears!
--bumper sticker
I need someone really bad... are you really bad?
--bumper sticker
Invest in America Buy a Congressman!
--bumper sticker
A woman with a big fat ass should dump him
--bumper sticker
Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an idiot!
--bumper sticker
You can't fix stupid
--bumper sticker
24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
--bumper sticker
I AM in shape. Round is a shape.
--bumper sticker
Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship
--bumper sticker
My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
--bumper sticker
I've run out of sick days, so I'm calling in dead!
--bumper sticker
Politically incorrect and proud of it
--bumper sticker
Vegetables aren't food. Vegetables are what food eats.
--bumper sticker
If you drink like a fish - swim, don't drive
--bumper sticker
I don't give a damn what your other car is!
--bumper sticker
Earth First. We'll screw up the other planets later.
--bumper sticker
Warning! Driver only carries $20 in ammunition
--bumper sticker
When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you
--bumper sticker
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle
--bumper sticker
If you're not the lead dog, the scenery never changes
--bumper sticker
Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid altogether
--bumper sticker
Gun control is being able to hit your target
--bumper sticker
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you
--bumper sticker
I drive way too fast to worry about cholestrol
--bumper sticker
Reality is the leading cause of stress
--bumper sticker
Good planets are hard to find
--bumper sticker
It hurts to be on the cutting edge.
--bumper sticker
Jesus is coming! Look busy
--bumper sticker
Same BS, different day
--bumper sticker
I like your approach, let's see your departure
--bumper sticker
Life's too short to date ugly men
--bumper sticker
I said for better or for worse, not forever!
--bumper sticker
If the van's a' rockin, don't come a' knockin
--bumper sticker
Computer Literacy? You mean my computer is supposed to be able to read?
--bumper sticker
Quiet! Genius at work
--bumper sticker
Work is for people who don't surf the net!
--bumper sticker
Men are pigs
--bumper sticker
Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional.
--bumper sticker
To hell with the dog, beware of the owner
--bumper sticker
I'm not as think as you drunk I am
--bumper sticker
Was today really necessary?
--bumper sticker
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog
--bumper sticker
The computer revolution is over and the computers won!
--bumper sticker
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
--bumper sticker
It's bad enough driving sober. Don't drive drunk
--bumper sticker
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you!
--bumper sticker
Few women admit their age ... Fewer men act theirs
--bumper sticker
Honesty pays, but not enough
--bumper sticker
Computers aren't intelligent. They just think they are.
--bumper sticker
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
--bumper sticker
If this car were a horse, I'd have to shoot it
--bumper sticker
A bad day of golf beats a good day of working
--bumper sticker
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
--bumper sticker
Ask me if I care!
--bumper sticker
Good cowgirls keep their calves together
--bumper sticker
Work is for people who don't know how to fish
--bumper sticker
The ten commandments aren't multiple choice
--bumper sticker
I don't deserve self esteem
--bumper sticker
I'm not deaf. I'm just ignoring you.
--bumper sticker
Proud to be a Democrat
--bumper sticker
Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control
--bumper sticker
The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open.
--bumper sticker
Falwell and Robertson don't speak for me!
--bumper sticker
I finally got it all together, but I forgot where I put it
--bumper sticker
First they burn books then they burn people
--bumper sticker
Ask me about my vow of silence
--bumper sticker
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
--bumper sticker
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
--bumper sticker
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
--bumper sticker
I only look Sweet & Innocent
--bumper sticker
You have the right to remain silent. So please SHUT UP.
--bumper sticker
Work harder. Millions on welfare depend on you
--bumper sticker
My other car is also a piece of junk
--bumper sticker
And on the eighth day, God played golf
--bumper sticker
If women are from Venus, then why can't we send them back?
--bumper sticker
Conservatives suck
--bumper sticker
A bad day of fishing beats a good day of working
--bumper sticker
Meeting - an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
--bumper sticker
Not all men are fools. Some are single.
--bumper sticker
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance
--bumper sticker
Death Before Dishonor Nothing Before Coffee
--bumper sticker
Proud to be a Republican
--bumper sticker
I love cats. Want to trade recipes?
--bumper sticker
It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
--bumper sticker
To err is human. To really screw up, you need a computer
--bumper sticker
I'd rather be skiing
--bumper sticker
Hey jerk, you are driving a car, not a phone booth
--bumper sticker
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