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Today is Wednesday September 12,
the 255th day of 2007. There
are 110 to go. The Sun is
at 19 Virgo The moon is waxing.
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If you want to search for anything sent in the last couple of years, read some jokes, or see what the weather is like here, try the web site:
<a href=" http://home.att.net/~martysjokes/index.html "> Joke Site</a>
You can even check out any Amber Alerts.
If you want to subscribe or unsubscribe etc. easily, or see the Fair Use disclaimer, just see the "housekeeping" section at the bottom of this message before the sig.
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Today (starting at
sundown) is the beginning of Rosh Hashanah (New Year 5768, if you're
Jewish), so
It is also Ramadan's
start, if I had any Muslim friends. I'd wish them peace too, but they
don't define that word the way I do. All I know is that if the Muslims
laid down their weapons, there would be peace - if the Jews laid
down their weapons there would be no more Israel and Israelis would all
die.
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The
receptionist found some cash in the office, apparently mislaid by a
co-worker. She sent the following email: "If anybody can say where they
lost $70, please let me know and it will be returned to you."
Within
minutes one employee replied, "Kentucky Derby, 2001."
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Yeah, yeah, this does seem to be
from...some other country. But let's just call it proof that the U.S.
doesn't have a corner on the redneck market.
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Silly
but interesting, from Al. I don't have a Koran, and so can't verify
this, but wth ............
VERY
INTERESTING-
1. The Garden of Eden was in Iraq
1. The Garden of Eden was in Iraq
2.
Mesopotamia, which is now Iraq , was the cradle of civilization!
3.
Noah built the ark in Iraq
4.
The Tower of Babel was in Iraq
5.
Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern Iraq !
6.
Isaac's wife Rebekah is from Nahor, which is in Iraq !
7.
Jacob met Rachel in Iraq
8.
Jonah preached in Nineveh - which is in Iraq
9.
Assyria, which is in Iraq, conquered the ten tribes of Israel
10.
Amos cried out in Iraq !
11
Babylon, which is in Iraq, destroyed Jerusalem
12.
Daniel was in the lion's den in Iraq !
13.
The three Hebrew children were in the fire in Iraq (Jesus had been in
Iraq also as the fourth person in the Fiery Furnace!)
14.
Belshazzar, the King of Babylon saw the "writing on the wall" in Iraq
15.
Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, carried the Jews captive into Iraq
16.
Ezekiel preached in Iraq ..
17.
The wise men were from Iraq .
18.
Peter preached in Iraq .
19.
The "Empire of Man" described in Revelation is called Babylon , which
was a city in Iraq !
And
you have probably seen this one: Israel is the nation most often
mentioned in the Bible But do you know which nation is second? It is
Iraq ! However, that is not the name that is used in the Bible.
The
names used in the Bible are Babylon , Land of Shinar , and Mesopotamia
. The word Mesopotamia means between the two rivers, more exactly
between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers ..
The
name Iraq, means country with deep roots.
Indeed
Iraq is a country with deep roots and is a very significant country in
the Bible.
No
other nation, except Israel , has more history and prophecy associated
With it than Iraq
And
also, This is something to think about: Since America is typically
represented by an eagle.
Saddam
should have read up on his Muslim passages ...
The
following verse is from the Koran, (the Islamic Bible)
Koran,
Sura ( 9:11 ) - For it is written that a son of Arabia would
awaken a fearsome Eagle.. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt
throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled
in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the
lands of Allah;
And
there was peace.
(Note
the verse number!) Hmmmmmmm?!
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From
Teddi
His
wife had just bought a new line of expensive cosmetics absolutely
guaranteed to make her looks years longer.
.
She sat in front of the mirror for what had to be hours applying the "miracle" products. Finally, when she was done, she turned to her husband and said, "Hon, honestly now, what age would you say I am?"
.
He nodded his head in assessment, and carefully said, "Well, hon, judging from your skin, twenty. Your hair, mmmm, eighteen. Your figure, twenty-five."
.
"Oh, you're so sweet!"
.
"Well, hang on, I'm not done adding it up yet."
.
She sat in front of the mirror for what had to be hours applying the "miracle" products. Finally, when she was done, she turned to her husband and said, "Hon, honestly now, what age would you say I am?"
.
He nodded his head in assessment, and carefully said, "Well, hon, judging from your skin, twenty. Your hair, mmmm, eighteen. Your figure, twenty-five."
.
"Oh, you're so sweet!"
.
"Well, hang on, I'm not done adding it up yet."
--
Are
you ancient enough to remember the signs by the side of the road?
Trains don't wander
All over the map
'Cause nobody sits
In the engineer's lap.
Burma Shave-
Don't
lose your head
To gain a minute
You need your head
Your brains are in it.
Burma Shave-
To gain a minute
You need your head
Your brains are in it.
Burma Shave-
Drove
too long
Driver snoozing
What happened
Next is not amusing.
Burma Shave-
Driver snoozing
What happened
Next is not amusing.
Burma Shave-
Brother
speeder
Let's rehearse
All together
Good morning, nurse.
Burma Shave-
Let's rehearse
All together
Good morning, nurse.
Burma Shave-
Speed
was high
Weather was not
Tires were thin
X-marks the spot.
Burma Shave-
Weather was not
Tires were thin
X-marks the spot.
Burma Shave-
----
A
friend and his wife were considering traveling to Alaska for a trip
that the husband had long dreamed of taking. He kept talking about how
great it would be to stay in a log cabin without electricity, to hunt
moose, and drive a dog team instead of a car.
"If
we decided to live there permanently, away from civilization, what
would you miss the most?" he asked his wife.
She
replied, "You."
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IN THE NAVY much of our time is spent at sea, drilling for emergencies. Once, when our ship was conducting simulated combat exercises, a message came over the loudspeaker: "This is a drill, torpedo hit to starboard, all hands prepare to abandon ship -- land bears 090 degrees, 11 miles."
Running to my abandon-ship station, I was stopped by a young seaman, apparently on his first sea tour. "Excuse me," he drawled, "but if we really had to swim for it, how would we deal with those bears?"
IN THE NAVY much of our time is spent at sea, drilling for emergencies. Once, when our ship was conducting simulated combat exercises, a message came over the loudspeaker: "This is a drill, torpedo hit to starboard, all hands prepare to abandon ship -- land bears 090 degrees, 11 miles."
Running to my abandon-ship station, I was stopped by a young seaman, apparently on his first sea tour. "Excuse me," he drawled, "but if we really had to swim for it, how would we deal with those bears?"
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Finally,
a funny rerun
YOU
KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 WHEN...
1.
You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2.
You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3.
You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4.
You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5.
Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that
they don't have e-mail addresses.
6.
You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7.
Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the
screen.
8.
Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the
first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and
you turn around to go and get it.
10.
You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11.
You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
12.
You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13.
Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this
message.
14.
You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15.
You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this
list.
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OK, move along, that's all there is, move along please ....
OK, move along, that's all there is, move along please ....
Housekeeping:
While I write some of what appears in my newsletters, mostly it is stuff that's merely passed on, often without attribution. If at all possible, attribution is given, and any copyright notice, if copyrighted material is used at all, is ALWAYS included. Written permission(s) (email-I can't handwrite) are sought where practicable. If you see anything at all that shouldn't be there, should be differently attributed, or is objectionable in any way, please let me know by simply writing to me . In no event is any income derived, and so the following notice is included:
*COPYRIGHT NOTICE** In accordance with Title 17 U. S. C. Section 107, any copyrighted work in this message is distributed under fair use without profit or payment..
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"The difference between salad and garbage is timing."
-- Dan Kennedy
Home is where the grab bars are.