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 For August 4 & 5, 2007
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Pun for all - all for pun
 
In light of the recent U.S. debate over the topic of human cloning, consider the following question:
 
If you were to push your clone, naked off of the roof of a tall building, would your actions be characterized as
 
(a)    Homicide?
 
(b)   Suicide?  or
 
(c)    Making an obscene clone fall?
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"Bush"on global warming
 
http://www.jibjab.com/view/125614
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I love this old joke
 
What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
 
Someone who stays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.
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From Teddi
 
                     AUGUST IS...
 
August is National Catfish Month
 
August is Romance Awareness Month
 
August is Foot Health Month
 
August 1 is...National Raspberry Cream Pie Day
 
August 3 is...National Watermelon Day
 
August 4 is...Twins Day Festival
 
August 6 is...Wiggle Your Toes Day
 
August 7 is...Sea Serpent Day
 
August 8 is...Sneak Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night
 
August 10 is...Lazy Day
 
August 13 is...Blame Someone Else Day
 
August 15 is...National Relaxation Day & National Failures Day
 
August 18 is...Bad Poetry Day
 
August 25 is...Kiss-And-Make-Up Day
 
August 28 is...World Sauntering Day
 
August 30 is...National Toasted Marshmallow Day
 
August 31 is...National Trail Mix Day
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Frum usn's down here in the deepest of the US Deep South .......
 
An infinite number of rednecks, in an infinite number of trucks, firing an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of signs, will produce all the great works of literature - in Braille.
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Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding.
One says, "It's ridiculous! He's rich, but he's 93 years old, and she's just 26! What kind of a wedding is that?"
 
The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family."
 
"What do you call it?"
 
"We call it a football wedding."
 
The first asks, "What's a football wedding?"
 
The other says, "She's waiting for him to kick off!"
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I'd never run for president. I've thought about it, and the only reason I'm not is that I'm scared no woman would come forward and say she had an affair with me.
-Garry Shandling
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Is this a bad idea?  The folks at Sprint announced it is developing a TV cell phone. It will let you watch TV on your cell phone. They have the perfect name for it: 'Nine Dead in Interstate Pileup.' 
--Jay Leno
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"President Bush has asked the FBI to start an anti-obscenity task force to the fight the war against pornography. ... Bush said he's serious about this war on pornography. He said he will seek out and find all weapons of mass -- turbation."
--Jay Leno
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I once wanted to become an atheist but I had to give it up. I found out they have no holidays.
~Henny Youngman
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How Many....?
 
Q: How many graduate students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but it takes them ten years.
 

Q: How many semanticists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: First... how light is the bulb?
 

Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Your mother should change a lightbulb?
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My lawyer asked me to pay him in cash, but I gave him a check.  He said to me, "I asked you to pay me in cash."
 
Acting innocent, I said, "A check is cash."
 
"No," he replied. "Cash is green."
 
"My goodness, are you trying to defraud me?" I asked.
 
"No," he answered. "I'm trying to defraud the IRS."
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OK, move along, that's all there is, move along please ....
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While I write some of what appears in my newsletters, mostly it is stuff that's merely passed on, often without attribution. If at all possible, attribution is given, and any copyright notice, if copyrighted material is used at all,  is ALWAYS included. Written permission(s) (email-I can't handwrite) are sought where practicable. If you see anything at all that shouldn't be there, should be differently attributed, or is objectionable in any way, please let me know by simply writing to me . In no event is any income derived, and so the following notice is included:

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As long as I count the votes, what are you going to do about it?"
- Tammany Hall "Boss'Tweed (William Marcy Tweed)


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